fandomhigh | Flight and Flying [Friday, 2nd period]

Anakin's mouth was set in a slightly harder line today than normal.

It had nothing to do with the new month.

And he wouldn't explain himself even if it did.

The flight simulator had been reconfigured again--this time to something that should seem a bit more familiar to Earth-based students: The F-16 Flying Falcon.

Anakin clasped his hands behind his back and began speaking. "This is one of the aircraft used by the militaries of this world," he began. "It's good in air-to-air combat as well as air-to-surface attack, can go more than 850 kilometers before it needs to be refueled and can withstand up to nine G's--pretty high tech for this world's standards."

He opened the simulator door and gestured to the controls. "As you can see, it's configured differently than the systems we've been using in the last few weeks, but the joystick and the trigger button are located in the same place. The F-16 just isn't as sensitive as the starfighter--you'll have to yank harder at the joystick to get the same reaction."

He was completely oblivious to any kind of innuendo that might've been found in that statement. "You'll also be dealing with the Earth's gravity, so turns won't be as fast, and if you make the plane go up too quickly, the machine's been equipped to simulate G forces, so you might pass out. That's not exactly what I had in mind for today, so please don't do that."

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"Have you done it at all since you got back?" Aeryn asks, careful of her phrasing.

"Just the one time with Qui-Gon," Anakin said. "I couldn't exactly explain why I wasn't up for it."

Only Anakin would be that stubborn.

"Does it feel better, now that you have?"

Anakin nodded. "I wasn't sure I was ready to pick up that weapon and all that it stands for," he admitted. "I'm still not sure I'm entirely comfortable with it."

"You're trying," Aeryn says. "I'd say that gives you the right to do so."

"Master Yoda said there was no such thing as try," Anakin said, biting his lower lip. "I prefer to think of it as very, very small steps forward."

He sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "And some back."

"I haven't seen a single bit of him in you, you know," she says. "Three months and I see the difference."

"Really?" Anakin asked, eyes lighting up.

"At all," Aeryn assures him. "I mean, I still see you, but... It's that part that's always been there. I'm not making sense, am I?"

"No, you are," he assured her. "I'm just worried for the day someone hurts Luke or Jaina."

Or Rory, not that he'd say that aloud.

"I won't know how much I'm not like him until then."

Aeryn isn't sure what Jaina has to do with anything, but. "You've always got a choice. Just remember that."

"But they're family," Anakin said, pressing his lips together.

"Then I'd assume they can take care of themselves," she says. She might be a bit of a hypocrite sometimes. "If you take that step, though, it isn't excused by a familial relation."

Anakin stared down at his boots. "It's what got me into this mess to start with," he said. "I'm still not certain I would have done anything differently if it had worked."

And that worries her a little. "It's not just trading yourself for one life, Anakin. At best, it's still trading a planet's worth and then some for one."

"I miss her," he said softly.

"I'm sorry," she says, just as softly.

Anakin clamped his hands together so tightly the skin around his knuckles went white as he stared into the distance for a long moment.

"Her birthday's in 8 days. She would have been 47."

"Oh," she says, getting it. "So June's a rough month."

Anakin nodded as he wrapped his arms around himself.

Sometimes Aeryn wishes she could just go back to not caring about people, because she hates seeing him like this. "It'll be all right," she assures him. "It's a date. It's just a reminder. And you'll deal with it as best you can, and the date will pass, and you'll go on."

"Hiding under my bed for a week isn't a productive option," Anakin agreed finally.

He kind of wanted to try it anyway.

"Not really, no," she agrees. "If there is anything you need in the meantime, even if it's just to try and hit it out, I can try and help."

"I'll take you up on it," Anakin said, sounding grateful. "I hate this time of year. I always feel so...lost."

It takes her a second to remember that he's had a few more Junes than she has. Sometimes she forgets. "You're getting closer to found," she says, and smiles a little, hopefully reassuringly.

Re: Talk to Anakin

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