fandomhigh | Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

There was a less than pleased and non-bouncy Deadpool waiting for the kids in the Danger Shope, because he had totally remembered to tell them to meet him there.

Okay, so not really, but he did leave a nice note telling them to get over there instead of their usual spot at the main campfire.

"First of all, it seems there was a wee bit of confusion over the assignment from last week," He said, glaring pointedly at a certain boy with a ponytail that was not a wolf tail and he really needed to accept that fact and move on with his life. Oh wait... he wasn't going to have one after Deadpool got done with him. "There is to be no maiming or injuring of Aly because that causes her to stab me in the kidney, and that makes me cranky. And a cranky me means I'm going to take this out on all of you kiddies!"

He grinned and held up a pair of escrima sticks. "Fighting practice today. Pick your weapon and we'll see what you're made of." Pause. "And I hope it isn't pie because that would be both messy and disturbing as then we would have to eat the pie that you are made of and that's cannibalism."

He should add something to that.

"And that only works for soccer teams in the Andes, not for high school students while they're off camping in a disturbingly familiar cliche for horror movies type environment."

Yup, that covered all the bases on that subject.

"So! One on one spar with me. Or my other lil' T.A., Setsuna because we've fought before already and know each other's tricks already." He grinned and looked over at Alec. "Not!Wolverine T.A., on the other hand, is new and exciting and yay for genetic enhancements in a fight!"

There was logic there, really.

"Now, if things get out of hand with Setsuna and any of you, I will intervene and it will not be fun for you. But I doubt that'll happen, she's good." There was a small bounce at that. "Now, are you kids ready to go?"

[[ooc: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up and ready!]]

[[ooc part deux: weapons are completely moddable!

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"Well, it wasn't the pet store..." Deadpool replied, twirling a stick and circling the turtle.

Raph didn't have anything witty to say in response to that, so he waited for the right moment, giving the appearance of his guard being down. He lunged, using left hand after right to try to get through Deadpool's defenses. He was getting frustrated and his body language was showing. He tried to hit a little too hard and took a little too long to recover as a result of it.

"Did I hit a nerve?" Deadpool asked, blocking and shoving Raphael back. He spun, gaining momentum to hit bring up a roundhouse to knock him back.

Raph might've been knocked back, but he was an annoyingly persistant guy and kept coming. "Like anything a guy in red pajamas says is gonna strike a nerve." Oh bravado, Raph's little friend. It served him well. "You're holding back." He had no idea whether that was true or not, but it needed to be said in any half-decent fight. It was in the unwritten contract.

That was true about guys who wore red.

"Of course I'm holding back!" Deadpool replied, continuing to push him back with strike after strike with the sticks. "I'd get in trouble if I broke a student!"

"I've fought guys twice your size. You ain't gonna break me, especially not with sticks."

Deadpool rolled his eyes, flipping the stick in his hand again. "Riiiiight. Keep telling yourself that kiddo."

"As long as you keep hiding behind 'school rules' I will."

Deadpool paused in the stick flipping before nodding in agreement. "Yeah, those rules are pretty annoying."

As soon as he finished speaking he rushed Raphael faster than he had been moving before, both escrima sticks out and ready for action. two hits aimed for just above the knees before whipping up and crossing to come down on the... shoulder-ish region to encircle his neck, tightening there to let him know how easy strangulation would be right about now.

"I miss my swords so much right about now."

Or decapitation.

Raph hadn't been expecting him to move that fast. The hits connected and he stumbled. "You sound like my brother." The way it sounded, that wasn't a compliment. If he'd had his sais, this would've been over faster, and in his favor. At least, that was what he was telling himself. His fingers curled around the escrima sticks and he used them to try to shove Deadpool as he ducked his head into his shell just long enough to get free and make a few swift leaps backwards. Now Raph was having fun. "This'd be more fun with real weapons."

Deadpool laughed and rushed him again, sliding down like a baseball player into a base at the last minute to sweep his legs out from under him. "What? Was it the sword comment? Lots of people use swords. And guns. And explosives..." He sighed. "This is making me sad."

This time Raph was ready and jumped high into the air (almost like a cartoon character) flipping over Deadpool to land solidly, sticks at the ready to defend himself. He took a wide swing Deadpool's head with the stick in his right hand. "Leo likes swords. He'd probably hate you on principle. Holier than thou son of a..." He brought his other hand up to defend himself.

(Damn theme song is stuck in my head...)

"Is he a Christ figure too?" Deadpool asked, ducking down and kicking out at him. "'Cause I have bad experiences with that type."

He took the kick and stumbled back a few paces. "Like he thinks he can walk on water?" He charged again, focusing on the movements and anticipating the next blow.

That might be easier if Deadpool was aware of what his next move was too. Perks of being utterly insane.

"Exactly!" He said, circling Raphael carefully and humming the damn theme song. "And the whole not dying thing too. I mean, come on! I shot him in the head! TWICE!"

"You shot him in the head and he didn't die?" Raph asked, circling as well. "Twice?" He contemplated whether that would work on Leo for a second there.

"Oh yeah! But noooo, he's on my title so he can't die or else it'd upset the fans," Deadpool said, bitterly.

This guy was crazy. Maybe Splinter's idea to send them here wasn't so bad after all. No, scratch that, he wasn't ready to stop being Mr Sulky Teenager-in-a-Half-Shell yet. "Replace 'fans' with 'father' and we've got that in common."

"Excellent taste in colors and father issues! We can braid each other's hair and talk about boys while watching bad movies about notebooks!"

Maybe if there's ever a gender-swap day again. "You'd better be kidding," Raph warned. "I don't have hair."

Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

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