fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, May 21]

When the students in the workshop arrived at the tables by the main campfire, they found them covered with phones.

"Welcome to the help desk!" Josh said, grinning proudly. "People are very stupid over the phone, especially when they know you can't see the expression on their faces. This is also why video conferences aren't as popular as regular conference calls--hiding your eyerolling is easier when, well, they can't see your eyes."

He waved his hands out. "Today you will be manning a help desk. I have ~~handwavily~~ put out posters to let people know that it's open during this class time, so the phones should start ringing any minute now. Your job is to answer the person's question in the most polite way possible without letting them know you think they are completely out of their minds."

"Coffee, muffins and bagels are available, answering their questions correctly is completely optional." Josh smirked. "Have fun."

[OOC: Phone lines are open for townies, students, and faculty members to call in. Josh has conveniently forgotten to specify what kind of help the students would offer. Ask for relationship advice, song requests, technical support, people to vote for or against bills in Congress, just to say hi...go nuts.

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"Well, for one, I'm heterosexual. And two... heterosexual."

Random fantasies about Nate aside.

"So get a divorce, marry a chick, have babies." Johnny said, making doodles on his notepad. "Ending? Happily ever after."

"You suck at the advice thing," Deadpool replied, glaring at the phone. "I guess I should have asked the smart member of the Fantastic Four. Is Reed Richards around and not cloning gods?"

"Dude, your the one who married a guy. What happened? You get drunk -- Hey! How do you know me? Who is this? And Sue's the smart one."

"No, Sue's the one who beat the crap out of Tasky, which was hilarious by the way. Not that's difficult to beat him, but... you know."

Johnny probably wasn't any good at this phone advice stuff, "Man, just tell me what the hell I can do for you?" Poor guy was crazy.

Deadpool gave it some thought.

"Maybe you could travel through time and make everything like that one Ashton Kutcher movie with the butterfly and alter all of reality like the Scarlet Witch only with less crazy."

Johnny considered that. He totally dug that Ashton Kutcher movie. "Yeah, that'd be totally cool. Minus the nose bleeds and head trauma. That'd suck. But I wouldn't change, hell no. I like my legs. Have you seen my legs?"

Who didn't did that Ashton Kutcher movie, that's the real question?

"Not recently, and when I have they're usually all flamey and that's just not attractive on anyone."

He frowned, "They can be unflamey."

Okay, he was losing patience here. "Anything else? You're kind of wasting important phone minutes here."

They had a set number of minutes for this? That wasn't fair!

"I dunno. I'd kinda like a sandwich. Can you make me one?"

...He had meant to ask something important, honestly.

Johnny pinched the bridge of his nose, "Do you have a sister?"

Did he? Damn, his continuity was so hard to follow anymore.

"I'm pretty sure I don't but there might be one out there, waiting for a good storyline."

"Cause I might want to ask her out. That'd make a great storyline. Think she would sleep with me on our first date?"

"Maybe if she's anything like me." Deadpool shrugged. "What can I say? I'm an easy date. Slept with the former sheriff on the first date."

"Man, I miss her already," He said with a sigh.

"You sound like a slut to me." Johnny snorted.

"I miss your sister too. When you see her can you give her my number? But god, if she's still got that funny eye thing going on, then forget it."

"I have only slept with three people since I've been here! That's not slutty, it's just..." He had nothing. "Shut up!"

"And my sister, who may or may not exist, does not have a funny eye thing!"

"Whore."

"And I beg to differ. She's got that whole looking in two places at once thing. Said she was going to fix it but I don't know if I believe her."

"...that reminds me, make that five people. There were those hot blond twins up at the Sin."

He glared at the phone again. "I will not have you impugning the honor of my make believe sister, good sir! I challenge you to a duel!"

"No shit? Can you introduce me sometime?" Er, Johnny wondered if cussing was allowed over the phone line...

"Man! A freaking duel? Okay I accept. Just as long as your sister isn't there trying to watch us, cause that would really freak me out."

"They closed down," Deadpool informed him sadly. That was the best little whorehouse in Fandom.

"Alright then! And stop calling my sister ugly! If your sister wasn't such a MILF, I'd make a comment about her."

"That's a shame." Johnny sighed. Hot blonde twins sounded great.

"Hey! My sister isn't a mother! What's wrong with you people!"

"Yes she is," Deadpool replied. "That one kid who is even more of a Christ Figure than Nate and the one no one talks about."

"Well, no one talks about him because they know he'd totally kick their ass." Johnny blinked. This guy on the phone was making him crazy!

"I think you're just a man slut who likes to pick on kids to hide the fact that your sister's a total loser."

"I think the one no one talks about is a girl, actually," Deadpool said thoughtfully.

"And it's not my fault I attract the ladies." Pause. "And one guy."

Re: Man the help desk!

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