fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, May 21]

When the students in the workshop arrived at the tables by the main campfire, they found them covered with phones.

"Welcome to the help desk!" Josh said, grinning proudly. "People are very stupid over the phone, especially when they know you can't see the expression on their faces. This is also why video conferences aren't as popular as regular conference calls--hiding your eyerolling is easier when, well, they can't see your eyes."

He waved his hands out. "Today you will be manning a help desk. I have ~~handwavily~~ put out posters to let people know that it's open during this class time, so the phones should start ringing any minute now. Your job is to answer the person's question in the most polite way possible without letting them know you think they are completely out of their minds."

"Coffee, muffins and bagels are available, answering their questions correctly is completely optional." Josh smirked. "Have fun."

[OOC: Phone lines are open for townies, students, and faculty members to call in. Josh has conveniently forgotten to specify what kind of help the students would offer. Ask for relationship advice, song requests, technical support, people to vote for or against bills in Congress, just to say hi...go nuts.

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"I have no idea what you are talking about. Please be coherent and speak English so that I may find a way to assist you, sir."

John frowned.

"Use contractions."

Aravis narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"Because I asked you to," John answered.

"It should not matter and I will not lessen my speech for the sake of pleasing you," Aravis snapped.

"...you're not related to Aeryn, are you? That'd be so Lifetime movie, if you were."

"...what?" Aravis was now getting a little loud. "Who? And what is Lifetime movie? I do not think I should like to view a movie that lasts my whole life!"

"Lifetime movie," John explained. "Chick channel. Where women can be women. And talk about how much men suck. Do you have cable?"

"I did not think any cable should be necessary," Aravis said, now very confused. "This movie is specifically for bird hatchlings? And where can women not be women? Is it normal for women to shroud themselves as men in this land? I rather thought that was only an emergency measure!"

"...it's not your time of the month, is it?"

"My..." Aravis was momentarily speechless. "How dare you! Of all the impertinent, disrespectful, overly-familiar questions!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" John held the phone away from his ear. "It was just a question! I meant Miller time! Drink a beer!"

Aravis attempted to compose herself. "What is your name, good sir?"

Not that she was going to use his name for nefarious purposes or anything.

"Seymour Butts," he said, trying to not laugh.

"Sir," Aravis sighed. "I cannot assist you without knowing your true title."

"His Lordship Sir Seymour Butts," he said haughtily.

"I am placing the telephone on its little bank now," she said, "and your voice will go away."

"Midol!" he yelled, taking his life into his own hands. "It helps!"

Aravis dropped the phone back onto the...thing that had been holding it when she'd picked it up.

She really hoped to never meet that boy.

Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, May 21]

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