fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, May 21]

When the students in the workshop arrived at the tables by the main campfire, they found them covered with phones.

"Welcome to the help desk!" Josh said, grinning proudly. "People are very stupid over the phone, especially when they know you can't see the expression on their faces. This is also why video conferences aren't as popular as regular conference calls--hiding your eyerolling is easier when, well, they can't see your eyes."

He waved his hands out. "Today you will be manning a help desk. I have ~~handwavily~~ put out posters to let people know that it's open during this class time, so the phones should start ringing any minute now. Your job is to answer the person's question in the most polite way possible without letting them know you think they are completely out of their minds."

"Coffee, muffins and bagels are available, answering their questions correctly is completely optional." Josh smirked. "Have fun."

[OOC: Phone lines are open for townies, students, and faculty members to call in. Josh has conveniently forgotten to specify what kind of help the students would offer. Ask for relationship advice, song requests, technical support, people to vote for or against bills in Congress, just to say hi...go nuts.

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Hermione's pretty prepared for this. After all, she's gotten phone calls from Ron in the past. This should be easy.

And lo, there was a ringing.

"Pick up the phooooooone," said one Jerry.

"Pick up the phone!"

"Pick up the phoooooooooooone."

"Pick it up! Pick it up!"

"Pick up the phooooooooooone!"

Hermione picks up the phone, trying to sound pleasant. "Hello, this is Hermione. How can I help you today?"

"Answer the phooooooooone," said one Jerry.

"Answer the phone, you prrrrrrick!"

"We are calling your help line!"

"We are not two clearly insane people!"

"We do not need your help!"

There was a moment or two of silence.

"Answer the phooooooooooooone," Jerry said.

Hermione frowns, and says, "I've already answered. How can I help you?"

"Answer the phoooooooooooooone," said one Jerry.

"We are calling your help line!"

"We cannot make tacos."

"We have none! No tacos!"

"We wish to purchase some tacos, from you."

"For the donkeys!"

"The donkeys drowned."

"We need new donkeys, Jerry," said one Jerry.

She wants to say they need medication.

What she says is, "I'm very sorry, but we don't sell tacos here." She can't stop the eyeroll, though.

They do. They really, really do.

"Yes! We don't either!"

"We have no need of your tacos!"

"Only our donkeys!"

"Give them back, you prrrrrrrrrrrrrick!"

"Or we shall be forced to unleash the hounds!"

"And the badgers!"

"And the rare Turkish coins!"

"We bribed the Royal Archduke of Spain with those."

"He's bringing us chemicals," said one Jerry helpfully.

"Are they in pill form?"

Both Jerries screamed.

"Not the pills!"

"Not the pills, Jerry!"

"Never the pills!"

"Not the piiiiiiiiiiiiiiills!"

"Jerry! The pills! They make us crazy!"

"Ab-so-lute-ly insane!"

"You can't make us! You can't make us!"

"We don't have the pills! You can't make us!"

There was a thud, as if a phone receiver had been dropped onto the ground. And then screaming from a distance, as if two clearly insane people were running around in circles flailing madly.

After figuring out the phone, Gavin called in.

Hermione picks up, answering, "You've reached Hermione, how can I help you today?"

"Who are...Siegfried and Roy?" Gavin asked.

Hermione frowns at the phone, and answers, "They're magicians in Las Vegas..."

He knew that much and that's not so bad. "Can you tell me more about them?"

"I'm not too familiar with them, but I believe they have an act with tigers," she says.

He knew that too. "Do they...normally bounce quarters off each other's rears?"

"...What?"

"Do they..." He looked around and dropped his voice. "Do they bounce quarters off each other's asses?"

Hermione makes a choked sound, and has to snicker into her hand for a moment. "Um. I don't think I've heard of them doing that," she says, voice wavering with the effort of not getting caught in a giggle fit.

Gavin winced. "Okay. What's their accent from?"

She clears her throat and says, "Germany, I think."

"Are they...together?"

"Um. Together, as in..." There's another throat-clear.

"Yeah, that," Gavin said, nodding even though Hermione couldn't see it.

Re: Man the help desk!

smartestone - 2007-05-21 17:45 (UTC) - Expand

sixstandingby.livejournal.com - 2007-05-21 17:49 (UTC) - Expand