fandomhigh | How to Annoy Your Teachers (And Not Get Turned Into Animals) [Week 1, Period 2]

As the students found their way to the main campfire, they'd seen John lounging against one of the logs, almost look half asleep. Well, as half asleep as someone could look with a smile on their face. He wasn't that gleeful. Really.

"Are we all here?" It looked like everyone was here. He hoped everyone was here. "If someone's not here, they miss out. Bummer for them. Anyway, if you're here, you should know that I'm John Crichton and this is a class on how to annoy those talky people who stand in front of classrooms. You know, teachers."

"Some of you guys might know me," he said, "and some might've heard of me and some might think nothing of me. I have a little experience annoying teachers. I spent a semester getting turned into an animal because of that annoyance. It's a talent really and one I'd like to spread around."

He stopped and sat up a little, looking more awake.

"This class is going to be more practical than anything. Because, really, who wants to listen to me talk? And when I say practical, I mean, you are going to have to go out there and annoy teachers. Whether it be during their office hours or during their class or if you see them out on a hot date. Grades will be given on how often I get punished."

He stopped and grinned. "Another quirk of the class. Because I'm telling you to go out there and annoy teachers, you will have the option of letting them punish me. Really, what're they gonna do, kill me?"

John might've been very, very deluded sometimes.

"First class is easy. We'll do introductions and I want you guys to tell me your favorite annoyance technique. Everyone's gotta have a favorite. And yes, there is homework. It's easy though. For your homework, I want you go find one teacher and call them a name and/or insult them in some way and remember you won't get in trouble. I will. I'll give you some examples."

He wrote a few of the faculty member's names on the board.

"For instances, the dearest vice principal, Hades? Call him a whiny mortal who's compensating for lacking in other departments. GOB Bluth? Call him a Canadian sympathizer. Professor Deadpool? Tell him that costume makes his rear look big. Tell John Winchester he looks like the brother of Richard Simmons if Richard Simmons looked like an ugly bear. And don't limit yourselves to these teachers. This is just the start of annoying teachers so, if it doesn't annoy them right off, don't worry. You have a week. Make it good."

"Also, I'm looking for a TA. If you're interested, see me after class. If not. All right then," John said, "let's get to it."

[OOC: Students will NOT get in trouble for calling or insulting a teacher. Just tell them John sent them and John will take the punishment. The homework can be handwaved, if you'd like, but I'd love to see you guys actually name calling a teacher. This is for fun, for kicks, and I really love and appreciate all the teachers that have said go ahead and annoy them. Have fun with this!]

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"Thank you! And yeah, he said I have double detention. Just 'cause he doesn't like me." And she giggled. "If we're gonna duct tape the doors closed, we should put something in their offices that's gonna smell funny first. So they have to run fans for hours to get the scent out."

"Fish?" John suggested. "Or some of that really strong perfume that makes you dry heave?"

"Why not both?" Rikku mused. "Plus something slimy. Slimy is seriously good."

"Slimy like honey or slimy like...mystery ooze?"

"Totally more like mystery ooze. Way more likely to smell funky."

"Mystery ooze it is," John said. "Maybe we could mix a lot of things together to make the ooze?"

"Mixing together weird and interesting things happens to be my specialty," Rikku announced, looking proud. "Okay, that and theft, and blowing things up. And I'm pretty good at this annoying-teachers thing, too."

"I might set you out against some of the harder to crack teachers," John said thoughtfully. "There's a few out there that might put up a defense."

Rikku giggled, bouncing on her toes. "Ever seen me on too much sugar? Pops says I'm the reason he's bald."

Laughing, John said, "I should just give you an A now."

Rikku beamed. "No, I want to earn it. I know that I have much to learn, Sensei. And boy, do I ever intend to learn it." And bowed.

"Ah, grasshopper, you're already doing so well," he said and bowed back. "And thanks for the cookies!"

"Any time. I fully intend to make them for you on a weekly basis." And grinned. "And, uh, what kind of stuff do you need help with? With the TA thing, I mean."

"Oh." He shrugged lazily. "Not too much. Special assignments, maybe. Scouting out teachers, helping me make cookies and running the class if I'm sick or out for some reason. Not too hard."

"Is, uh, is anyone doing that yet?" Rikku bounced on the toes of her shoes. "Because someone totally needs to, and I'm already making cookies and all..."

"No one's asked me," he said. "Are you asking?"

"You bet I am!" Rikku did her happy little victory dance. "If that's okay! And I hope it is 'cause you said I'm doing well and all. Right?"

"You're totally hired," John said. "And yeah, you're going great."

"Hooray! Thank you!" Rikku bounced. "Okay! Let me know if you need anything inbetween classes and all that! Should I stop by your office hours? I've never done the TA thing before, you know?"

"I have to figure out office hours but you can," John said. "With the school being in pieces, there's like, no offices. But I'm around campfires!"

"I'm over in Kraken if you need me. And my number is 555-ALBD, so if there's mischief going down? Let me know."

"You got it." He grinned again. He was doing that a lot in this class. "Always looking for more partners in mischief."

How to Annoy Your Teachers (And Not Get Turned Into Animals) [Week 1, Period 2]

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