Novice's Guide to Villains and Villainy - Friday, Period 3, Danger Shop

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

Thursday greeted the students inside the Danger Shop. Her arm was still in a sling.

"Good work last week. While Lord Vizzle lives on, you all performed admirably. This is our final class, and I would imagine the last class of the academic year for all of you. Thank you all for a memorable semester. I'm not teaching over Summer and I'm not certain at this stage if I'll be back in the Fall, so in case this is the last time I see any of you, best wishes for the future. I hope this class has been of some use to you. Let's get on to the final.

Your task is simple: walk through the door and you'll be faced with a villain from literary fiction or popular culture. Defeat them using whatever means necessary. You'll be graded on ingenuity and the effectiveness of your plan, so if you don't succeed in defeating them, it's still possible to obtain a good grade provided your approach is sound. Once you step through the door, there are no rules.

Good luck."

Class Roster | Syllabus
Your Detective Kit | Novice's Guide to Villains & Villainy Handbook

Comments

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The room changed and Luke (Studentus Jedius) would have found himself on a long stretch of open road in the middle of the desert. If he looked up, he would have seen a coyote (Carnivorous Headdeskus) trying to drop a giant boulder on him.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke did look up. "Are you kidding me?" he grumbled, diving out of the range of the falling rock.

"That's not funny!" he called up.

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote cursed his luck, but was at least thankful that it hadn't bounced back up and landed on him. He disappeared to make another plan and returned about fifteen seconds later.

Luke might have heard the sound of a rocket before he saw the coyote speeding towards him with a knife and fork.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke reached into the Force to leap and twist into the air, landing just behind the coyote on the rocket.

Just like riding a speeder. Really.

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote frowned when he was dinnerless. Jedi was on the menu. Jedi was not on his fork. He turned his head to see what had gone wrong and was alarmed when he saw Luke sitting behind him. Eyes wide, he slowly turned back and waited for the inevitable pounding.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke would've felt a lot worse about this if the guy hadn't tried to squash him to death with a rock.

Besides, the rocket they were riding on didn't seem to be equipped with the ability to turn and that canyon wall was getting pretty damn close.

Luke grabbed the coyote by the shoulders and tried to toss him off.

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote was thin and rather frail from not eating since 1948. He was pushed off easily and landed face-first on the desert floor. He didn't wait for Luke to follow, but instead rushed off to come up with another plan.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke jumped off of the rocket before it crashed specatularly into the wall, then turned around.

"Where'd he go now?" he muttered.

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote was nowhere to be seen, but if Luke wandered back towards his start point, he would have seen a pile of grain in the middle of the road. The sign stuck in it said 'Free Dorky Student Seed (Not Dirty).'

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke read the sign and frowned. "I'm not dorky," he whined at no one.

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote would have begged to differ, but he was too busy sneaking up on Luke with an ACME People Catcher. It looked like a giant, mechanical butterfly net.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke felt the coyote's presence and turned around.

Then burst out laughing. "Seriously?"

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

Apparently! The net took a swipe at Luke, trying to scoop him up.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke had learned a lesson spending time with Chewbacca: namely that nets could actually work.

That's why he was trying to dive through the coyote's legs.

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote naturally followed Luke through his own legs and ended up tangled in his own net. He frowned. Back to the drawing board.

This was going to keep happening endlessly for over 50 years if Luke didn't stop him once and for all.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke sighed. "This is kind of pointless, friend," he said, turning around. "Have you considered vegetarianism?"

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote shook his head complete with sound effects. He did however pull out a cookbook. Apparently dorky students had a high nutritional content.

Right next to that page was a recipe for Roadrunner.

Re: Face Your Villain

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"Okay, look," Luke said, pointing to the cookbook, "the roadrunner thing is way better for you, nutritionally speaking, than I am."

Re: Face Your Villain

[no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com]

The coyote gave him a 'o rly?' look, rubbed his chin and nodded. He closed the book and went to find the Roadrunner.