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extraterrestrial civilizations

Extraterrestrial Civilizations - Class 10 [3/21, Period 4]

"Good morning," Ellie greeted the class as they arrived. "Today's guest speaker is from the planet Caprica and is actually a student here, Samuel Anders, so you may already know him. But my associates have seen fit to send another cultural representative from that particular area as well." She eyed the red-eyed shining silver metallic humanoid robot-thing as it stepped forward from the back of the room. "I've been told he won't bite, however. He doesn't say much, so I'm not sure what he has to offer the class ~~other than making Anders scream like a girl~~."

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Anders was staying as far away from the Cylon Centurion as he could ~~and no, he didn't scream like a girl but he sure as hell came damn close~~. He was also glaring balefully at Ellie for announcing his first name to the entire class.

"Um. So I have no idea how I got roped into this --" another nervous glance at the Centurion -- "since there's, like, really not that much difference between Colonial civilization and this one ~~except for the part about how we have no idea where Earth is chronologically compared to the Colonies~~ because we're human like you. And according to our religious texts you guys are actually the lost thirteen tribe of colonists that fled from the planet Kobol, so yeah. Totally related. Um."

He coughed and rubbed at the back of his neck, edging a few steps further away from the Centurion. "Our religion's pretty close to what you guys might know as Greek mythology, since our Lords of Kobol have the same names as a lot of the Greek gods, which makes taking The Gods and You kind of a really surreal experience for me, you know? And we've got different sports and things, but life there is honestly a lot like life here except that we have twelve planets instead of just one." Yeah, there were a lot of "except"s in his little completely unprepared speech. "Also? You guys have corners on your paper and TV screens and it's just weird, and I don't think the Thirteenth Colony ever had to deal with a bunch of frakking glorified toasters trying to wipe out all human life, but hey, you've gone through a lot of crap here too."

The cylon regarded Anders quietly, its one red eye swishing back and forth.

Anders wasn't twitching. He wasn't twitching. He wasn't --

Twitch.

Dammit.

Z raised her hand. "So do you have like round paper?"

Anders gave her a long-suffering look. "No, I mean you guys have square paper."

Someday he might learn to phrase that difference a little more clearly. Today was not that day.

"Our paper is rectangular. And yours is not?"

Anders flailed a little. "No! Well, I mean mostly! Except for where the corners are sort of lopped off!"

You'd think he'd have committed the word "octagonal" to memory by now, but noooooooo.

Z decided to help him out a little here. "You mean it's octagonal?"

"Yes," Anders said. "That. With the corners chopped off."

"Why?"

Re: Guest Speaker [3/21]

cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com - 2007-03-21 19:12 (UTC) - Expand

"So, are there like witches and demons where you're from?" Summer asked casually ~~while her mun smiled innocently~~.

Anders flailed ~~while his player decided to go hunt down your enabler in the nicest way possible~~. "Um. There are oracles and stuff, but . . . witches and demons are . . . kind of a new experience for me?"

Wow, he could not possibly have phrased that any worse, could he?

Summer nodded. "Me too. I never knew they existed until I came here."

"Well," Anders said, his voice slightly strangled, "they're, um, definitely real . . ."

"I know," Summer said. "One of them is my roommate."

Anders covered his face with his hands. "For the love of gods, keep your roommate away from me."

Summer just kind of stared. "Um, okay."

~~"Aren't you the one with the Halliwell fetish?"~~ "Why are you afraid of the shiny thing?"

~~"Why, yes. Yes, that would be me.~~ The Cylons tried to wipe out the Colonies," Anders tried to explain. "That was years before I was born, and they haven't been seen since, so this is . . . kind of weird."

"~~Ah, I thought you seemed familiar.~~ They tried to kill all of you?"

Stark considered pointing out that he wasn't from Earth and certainly wasn't human. But then he decided that doing so just to confuse Anders might cost him cupcakes, so he didn't.

"You have 12 planets all full of you? Just you and your very shiny robots and nobody else?" Stark asked. He thought the lack of other sentient life was kind of odd.

Anders shrugged. "Um, pretty much. Well, there's dogs and stuff ~~because we actually finally saw one in canon, OMG~~, but . . . no other beings? Twelve planets is a lot. Maybe the original colonists got it on like rabbits."

"Your end of the universe sounds lonely," Stark said, ignoring the fact that having lots of aliens had worked out so very well at his end of the universe. ~~"And so you're saying your ancestors were just like you, eh?"~~

"Too many people for it to be really lonely," Anders replied, honestly confused. ~~"Hey! I resemble that remark!"~~

"But only the one kind of people," Stark said. "Well, one kind and then the shiny robot things. I'm used to more than that. ~~And yes, yes you do.~~"

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