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fandomhigh2007-03-11 11:15 pm
bluewindbreaker.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2007-03-11 11:15 pm
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Defense Against Malicious Magic - 3/12/2007 - Vampires Suck
Byron enters the room and motions for the students to settle down.
"I'm sure you'll all be glad to know that Slobodan Milosevic will not be able to join us for this particular class.
Or, maybe you won't. Either way..."
He waves a hand and a large diagram appears on the whiteboard...
Scale of Vampires 1 to 11
"Vampires. Kindred. Leaches. Cainites. Shimulo. Blood sucking no-good-nicks... Of which I am not one... There are as many varieties of these creatures as the Eskimos have words for snow.
The reason for this is that the list of causes for vampirism are as long as my pin-striped slacks.
Some of these include blood disease, magical means intended to extend life, curses, and demonic possession.
The diagram you see before you is my no means complete in it's listing, but it will serve for our purposes. The varieties we see here on the diagram are listed in an order that takes into account both danger as well as difficulty to kill. With the exception of this fellow. Who maintains his place on this end of the scale despite being considerably less dangerous then his predecessors as he is exceedingly more difficult to kill. Unlike... Well, anyone else on this scale, he actively avoids danger and even runs away from it. His ancestors were quite vicious actually, and it's probably be in everybody's best interest if this particular incarnation is let to live as long as possible. The lesson there being that you should always be sure of what you're killing before you kill it, if you can.
Even among subgroups there are individuals who can be higher or lower on this scale, this is just an average on groups as a whole when there are what can be considered 'a group."
He says that last bit with finger quotes and everything.
"Now, this class is about defending oneself against malicious magic. Most varieties of vampires have certain abilities. Abilities to cloud one's mind, perceptions and judgment are often adversely affected in the presence of these creatures. A good example of this would be Monsieur de Lioncourt, who is of a variety that calls itself "The Damned"which sounds way cooler the 'Jet Boy and Jet Girl'. Monsieur de Lioncourt published a book under a nome de plume, as some of you may well know. This particular creature's mind affecting aura is so powerful, that merely reading his words is enough to lull the reader into a trance-like state. Particularly weak-willed subjects will actually fall asleep or slip into a coma in the most extreme cases.
There are few methods of combating the unwanted advances of a vampire that will work across the board. Relatively few suffer from 'crepe-paper ribcage' or a weakness to magic or religious implements, an allergy to garlic or whatever else may have worked in the past for you. What you can generally rely on, as I have discussed before in this class, is your own willpower. While your faith in something (be it spiritual, religious, or personal) may not directly harm a creature you are trying to combat, it generally does well in bolstering your resolve and protect your mind from domination.
Now I'm fairly certain this is a subject with a number of you have a respectable amount of experience in, so I'm going to open the floor to questions and answers."
[[ooc:Please wait for OCD (like good little vampires). OPEN "Scale of Vampires includes: Top row from left to right: Count von Count, Nameless blackula from Venture Brothers (Probably based on the movie of the same name, the master, Bela Lugosi, Duckula, Strahd von Zarovich. Bottom row from left to right: Bunnicula, Mr. Vampire, Nameless Median, All the core clans, Alucard Farenheits Tepes, Vlad/Dracula/Alucard. Sadly not included in this class are Forever Knight vampires, Count Chocula, "Drac" from the Groovy Goulies, El Chupacabra, Red/Black/Jade Court from the Dresden Files, people with Pyphoria, those asian vampires that detach their heads from their bodies which fly around trailing various internal organs (Those are my favorite) ]]
"I'm sure you'll all be glad to know that Slobodan Milosevic will not be able to join us for this particular class.
Or, maybe you won't. Either way..."
He waves a hand and a large diagram appears on the whiteboard...
"Vampires. Kindred. Leaches. Cainites. Shimulo. Blood sucking no-good-nicks... Of which I am not one... There are as many varieties of these creatures as the Eskimos have words for snow.
The reason for this is that the list of causes for vampirism are as long as my pin-striped slacks.
Some of these include blood disease, magical means intended to extend life, curses, and demonic possession.
The diagram you see before you is my no means complete in it's listing, but it will serve for our purposes. The varieties we see here on the diagram are listed in an order that takes into account both danger as well as difficulty to kill. With the exception of this fellow. Who maintains his place on this end of the scale despite being considerably less dangerous then his predecessors as he is exceedingly more difficult to kill. Unlike... Well, anyone else on this scale, he actively avoids danger and even runs away from it. His ancestors were quite vicious actually, and it's probably be in everybody's best interest if this particular incarnation is let to live as long as possible. The lesson there being that you should always be sure of what you're killing before you kill it, if you can.
Even among subgroups there are individuals who can be higher or lower on this scale, this is just an average on groups as a whole when there are what can be considered 'a group."
He says that last bit with finger quotes and everything.
"Now, this class is about defending oneself against malicious magic. Most varieties of vampires have certain abilities. Abilities to cloud one's mind, perceptions and judgment are often adversely affected in the presence of these creatures. A good example of this would be Monsieur de Lioncourt, who is of a variety that calls itself "The Damned"
There are few methods of combating the unwanted advances of a vampire that will work across the board. Relatively few suffer from 'crepe-paper ribcage' or a weakness to magic or religious implements, an allergy to garlic or whatever else may have worked in the past for you. What you can generally rely on, as I have discussed before in this class, is your own willpower. While your faith in something (be it spiritual, religious, or personal) may not directly harm a creature you are trying to combat, it generally does well in bolstering your resolve and protect your mind from domination.
Now I'm fairly certain this is a subject with a number of you have a respectable amount of experience in, so I'm going to open the floor to questions and answers."
[[ooc:
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