fandomhigh | US History, Valentine's Day- Third Period

Mr. Noblet entered the classroom about half a minute after the bell rang, carrying a couple large boxes. He set them on the table near the window, and laid out the contents: ~~moddable~~ homemade cupcakes and cookies, all decorated for Valentine’s Day. He finished setting up, then turned to the class.

“Right. You had reports due today. Turn them in at the front of the room, one at a time, and tell the class a little about why the historical figure you picked was terrible. Make it quick. The faster you talk, the faster you get to eat.”
Chuck took attendance while the kids talked. After they were finished, he moved away from the table. “As it is Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to rework today’s lesson. Instead of studying random inventions that don’t matter in the least today, we’ll be looking at the origins of some romantic inventions and traditions that are still in America today.” He jerked his head at the table. “Go grab something to eat.” He offered no reason why he’d made treats for his students. He waited until they were back in their seats, then started the lecture proper.
“Right.
Next: Romantic music. People use this to create ambiance. At the top of those crooners sits,” he wrote the name on the board, “Barry White. Also known as the Maestro, The Man with the Velvet Voice, and The Walrus of Love.” Chuck’s face screwed up for a second. “That last title is pretty stupid, but I assure you that the music is not. Among ladies’ men and the suavest of ladies, this goes right up there with candles.”
He seemed to have struck upon a point.
“Next up, candles! Benjamin Franklin invented them to help with his daylight savings program. He sold tons of ‘em. Of course, the real use came when he found out that candles create an ambient air. Ever wondered how such a geek was getting women to throw themselves at him for so long? Ben Franklin was fathering kids well into his eighties, and it was all due to candles.” He shrugged. “I really don’t see the draw. They’re a fire hazard and most smell rotten. But chicks ~~and a few special guys~~ go nuts over them. You can give ‘em as gifts, set up dozens of them around your room/apartment, it’s just a good move. Make sure that you know your partner really well, though. If they have an allergic reaction to the sent in the candles, they will never let the matter drop.
“Speaking of things that can get you in trouble-” on the board, he wrote, in huge letters- “Condoms. You can laugh, but when you’re holding that blue pregnancy test, you won’t be laughing. Need I say more?”
He moved on. “Now as far as romantic inventions go, the most famous is, by far, the kiss.” He checked his notes. “According to the famous Florinese author S. Morgenstern, the kiss was invented by Saul and Delilah Korn in 1642 BC. Before that time, couples hooked thumbs. The invention, as you might guess, spread across Western civilization like wildfire, eventually becoming a romantic staple. Though the precise rating of kisses is very difficult, most agree on these elements:” Mr. Noblet wrote them on the board as he spoke,
“Affection,
Purity,
Intensity,
Duration.” He waited for everyone to write the list down. “Generally, people don’t stop to rate a kiss as they’re getting one, but you could think about it next time. Maybe tell your partner where they’re lacking.”
The bell cut Chuck off. It was all really for the best.
“That’s it for the lecture. Grab some food on the way out. I don’t want to have to lug this back home.” He smiled a little. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

[ooc: ~~OCD's coming. Perhaps you can eat candy while you wait?~~ Have at it! Valentine's Day love to all!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

All neat and collapsey-like.

Charlie Kawalsky, Duke of Lovetown

Re: Sign in

willbedone.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 05:00 (UTC) - Expand

2-twin-devils-2.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 06:42 (UTC) - Expand

tyler-gone.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 15:22 (UTC) - Expand

fat-halpert.livejournal.com - 2007-02-15 02:11 (UTC) - Expand

likethegun - 2007-02-15 02:30 (UTC) - Expand

Tell the class a little about who was the worst founding father.

"I picked everyone who wasn't George Washington. They were all lacking because they weren't George Washington, and because George Washington could kick their asses. That, in my opinion, makes all of their hard work pointless because they couldn't stand up for themselves in a brawl with the Big G."

Re: Reports

certaintrouble.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 11:51 (UTC) - Expand

"I picked Ethan Allen," Willow said, handing in her thick report. "I find his furniture vastly overrated and ridiculously overpriced too."

certaintrouble.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 11:55 (UTC) - Expand

willbedone.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 17:37 (UTC) - Expand

"I chose Alexander Hamilton," Tyler said. "He got killed in a duel over some wussy mudslinging campaign."

certaintrouble.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 16:20 (UTC) - Expand

tyler-gone.livejournal.com - 2007-02-14 16:28 (UTC) - Expand

"I chose William Hooper," Jim said. In actuality he saw the name in a list of people who signed the Declaration of Independence and decided to make stuff up. "I just can't respect a person who let the fact that he signed the Declaration of Independence be upstaged by the fact that he created the Hula Hoop. What kind of person allows that to be his legacy? The kind of person who I shun several centuries later, that's what kind of person."

certaintrouble.livejournal.com - 2007-02-15 02:48 (UTC) - Expand

fat-halpert.livejournal.com - 2007-02-15 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

certaintrouble.livejournal.com - 2007-02-15 03:25 (UTC) - Expand

fat-halpert.livejournal.com - 2007-02-15 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

certaintrouble.livejournal.com - 2007-02-15 03:43 (UTC) - Expand

fat-halpert.livejournal.com - 2007-02-15 07:48 (UTC) - Expand

"I picked Button Gwinnett," Sam said. In reality, he picked the name randomly from a list, but he said, "He had the potential to be really successful, being a founding father and all, and yet his most notable accomplishment is failing to invade Florida. Plus, he has a really weird name."