Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

Today, the classroom had pillows. Lots and lots of pillows. The Doctor was standing, with a smug grin on his face. When everyone had gathered, he spoke.

"Sex. If you're going to get all righteous and uptight on me, you're officially excused out the door right now and you can go watch Davey and Goliath clips on YouTube or whatever it is you boring people do. Anyone leaving?"

He paused, just in case anyone did.

"Now this isn't your stupid and silly tab a into slot b lesson. That... well, frankly, that's boring. I'm sure Mr. Harkness could share his expertise for multiple, well, yes, I'm not here to talk about what two humans can do with their block and tackle, right? This is about what happens when you get really friendly with a nice blue girl with mandibles or a scaly fellow who doesn't have lips. So now, please bear with me."

And then the doctor launched into a lengthy lecture. With gestures. Dolls and bizzare plushies as Visual aids. And some possibly psychologically scarring content about what one does with horns, mandibles, scales, tails, and, of course, tentacles.

"So now, pair up, one of you pretend to be a creature with different physiology, and chat each other up. If you need some ideas, there's some tentacle porn magazines under some of the pillows. No actual sex in my classroom, please. I'd get sacked, and that would be a bad thing. So... go ahead and do what comes naturally, eh?"

[ooc: Wait for OCD is up, my friends.]

Comments

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Right. Berthold will have to move out when he reaches his teens. Not having sex with him." River clearly didn't like the thought. "Just hoping he doesn't define eating ice cream off people sex." She glanced at a translucent Jack. "Could ask Jack. But I'd rather not. Don't think this is really where my talents lie. Better at scaring people."

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

"Am I to understand you have a pet tentacled thing?" the Doctor said.

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Yes. As a pet, nothing else." River didn't want the Doctor to get the wrong idea here. "And he loves ice cream, but it gives him stomach problems."

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

"Ever thought about giving him that stuff the lactose-intolerant people take?" the Doctor asked.

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River blinked. "No. Didn't know it was available. Miss Poppins suggested healther food, and it does make a difference. He doesn't eat our clothes now. But he complains sometimes."

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

"Eating clothes is definitely a good thing to avoid," the Doctor said. "Maybe he just needed more fiber in his diet." He chuckled.

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River nodded. "That was what Miss Poppins said. So how would I know if Berthold is making advances on me or if he just wants food? I can't read his mind."

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

"...see what happens?" the Doctor said. "That's about all I can give as advice."

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River was so ot going to follow that advice. "Oh. Well, thank you." She blinked. "I'm sure I could introduce you to Berthold should you be interested."

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

"I may be interested in that, at a later date," the Doctor said with a smile.

Re: Ask the Doctor a Question

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River actually blushed. "Oh. Just let me know."