fandomhigh | D.A.M.M. - Monday 1/7

Once the students are settled a dramatic explosion fills the space in front of the white board, generating a purple sparkling mushroom cloud of moaning skulls. When it clears, a tall wild eyed man in a red smoking jacket and pin-stripped slacks is standing there.

"Greeeeeetings students!" he says sweeping an arm out in a grand gesture that encompassed the lot of them. "I. Am Doctor Orpheus! And I am here to teach you all Defense Against the Dark Arts. There are many who would plumb the depths of the arcane, and each has their own reasons. Unfortunately, more often then we'd like, those reasons are greed! ANGER! REEEEEEEVENGE!!!"

As Orpheus talks, he paces back and forth in front of the white board while making dramatic gestures with his hands. He enunciates every syllable of every word as if he is being paid by the diphthong, this gives him a vaguely English sounding accent. (You'd never know he was from Maine.)

"For the most part, it is not the art that is dark but how it is used. I myself, am a Necro...mancer. It is unfortunate that some of those with similar training tend to be on the... creepy side. I assure you, the art of Neck-row-ma-see, is NOT all about dead things... A few publicity hungry bad eggs have foisted this stereotype upon the rest of us. The rest of us who combat these nogoodnicks with the ULTIMATE WEAPON!"

Byron strikes a dramatic pose and he radiates a golden light.

"Knowledge!!!"

The light fades.

"Knowledge is power! And with some knowledge comes great power. And with great power comes a whole lot of crap that you have to deal with if you abuse it. And by 'crap', I mean people like myself and the other members of THE ORDER OF THE TRIAD!" He exclaims as a glowing yellow triangular symbol appears behind him.

He's slightly concerned that he's just told his students that he and his brethren are "crap" but he decides to power through that.

"Firstly, we will discuss the most important weapon at your disposal in the battle against the darkly used arts..."

A plate of gourmet candy floats over to his hand.

"CHOCOLATE!!!"

[[ooc: ~~please wait for OCD~~]]

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Having already heard what he said to the other students, Willow was able to ask, "Does it matter if it's in candy format? For instance there's the genre of ice cream, and also donuts."

"It certainly can't hurt but it wouldn't have as profound an effect since it would be diluted with the various other ingredients." Byron said. "However, there is something to be said for psychosomatic effects as well.as the mystical applications."

"But candy chocolate is diluted as well," Willow pointed out. "There's sugar and milk and, if you're buying the cheap stuff, polysorbate-80. To say nothing of the mint controversy. Couldn't a triple-chocolate chip cookie be better than, say, a Kit Kat?"

"You are correct." Byron nodded. "Ooooooh the stories I could tell you about clashes over Kisses verses Andies! However, you have perhaps noted the recent trend in American confectionery producers towards dark chocolate and a higher cocoa content?"

"I have!" Willow said. She took more notes. "So you would say that the darker the better? What kind of percentage are we talking about? At least 70?"

"Where chocolate is concerned yes. Darker is better."

"That would imply that there are areas where lighter is better," Willow said. "What areas might those be? I mean I know about doing my own laundry but are we still focusing on a food standpoint? Are there magical situations that are greatly helped by the application of cauliflower?"

"In the case that a person has been cursed with indigestion actually." Byron mused. "...But we're getting ahead of ourselves."

"Sorry," Willow said, sheepishly. "I tend to do that. I love reading ahead and making pre-notes."

"Quite alright my dear. Your enthusiasm is as refreshing as a chilly glass of Oh Jay on a sunday morning."

D.A.M.M. - Monday 1/7 - Period 1

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