fandomhigh | Fandom High Holiday Pageant 2006, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

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Fandom High Holiday Pageant 2006, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

Once everyone was seated, The Tick walked out onto the stage wearing a keen tux. He was ready to celebrate the holidays in style.

"Welcome, chums, to the 2006 Fandom High Holiday Pageant! This year, we're looking to make the pageant as broad as possible, covering several different holidays with several different methods of educating us all with fun! It's Funducation, not to be confused with Funded Education!"

"On the Holiday Tree of Funducation, information is the presents, and you are the children gathered around, hoping for the Hanukkah Wii of Information, or the X-Mas-Box of Knowledge! Our volunteers are the ornaments, making sure the Tree is shiny and festive! The participating classes are the lights that illuminate with organization and color! And I," Tick said, grinning broadly, "am a jolly man in a blue suit! I am not just your Master of Ceremonies tonight, I am also your Santa of Ceremonies! So please allow me to welcome you to this year's Tree of Funducation, the Holiday Pageant!"

[OOC: Please ~~wait for and then~~ follow the OCD. There is a thread for each performance, and then a Performance and Audience sub-thread for each. Please use the subthreads. Pretty self explanatory. Everyone should know what they're doing and which thread they're doing it in, hopefully. If, for some reason, we have threads that are not pinged into as of really late Friday night, I may get creative and randomly recruit people at the last minute if it doesn't Joss them just to make sure the pageant stands as being complete.

I'd like to say thank you in advance to all of my volunteers and I can't wait to see what you put together!]

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On the stage were a tree (http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/images/wacky/inflatables/palm-tree-big.jpg) and a large wooden chest (http://www.spinybabbler.org/collectibles/woodwork_images/chest.jpg).

Jack bounded onto stage wearing flowing pants, arm bands, some jewelery (http://www.beliefnet.com/imgs/prayer_mile/user/28995/siddhattha_birth_renounce1.jpg), eye liner and not much else. He couldn't resist strutting across stage, grinning madly, before he assumed the lotus position on top of the chest, facing away from the audience.

Seely followed Jack onto the stage and picked up the microphone.

He started singing a song with what might be a somewhat familiar tune (http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/r024.html).

The wise men told Maya
You're gonna bear the Buddha-Buddha
The wise men told Maya
You're gonna bear the Buddha-Buddha
He will teach men about Dharma-Dharma
Under the Bodhi tree

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Mean Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree

Somebody was taking a major karmic hit for this.

As Seely sang, Jack whipped a sari out of the chest, wrapped it around himself, shoved an orange throw pillow down the front, and stared at Seely in rapt fascination, arms outstretched towards the ceiling. As the verse progressed, the pillow slipped out from under the sari, landing between his legs, and Jack set it under the tree.

When Seely hit the chorus, he blinked and started edging farther away. Just in case.

Hey, sometimes karmic retribution was very quick.

Completely oblivious to Jack edging away, Seely launched into the next verse. He might have started encouraging the audience to sing along with the chorus.

They then told Suddhodana
He might be a kingy-kingy
They then told Suddhodana
He might be a kingy-kingy
Else he'll be the wisest...thingy-thingy
Under the bodhi tree

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Means Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree

Sari off, and Jack dumped it on the stage, pulling a shiny gold crown (http://www.costumeholidayhouse.com/Costume/Hats-Tiaras/94201-28w.jpg), a sword (http://pix.auctiva.com/pix/10/00/06/ninjasword_color2.JPG), and a...horse (http://www.holz-toys.co.uk/asps/uploads/big/720-1.jpg) out of the trunk, shoved the crown on his head, and rode the horse around the stage, swinging the sword and waving regally to the audience.

At Else he'll be the wisest, he dropped it all, grabbed a swath of orange cloth from the trunk and wrapped it around himself as he dropped to the ground under the tree, landing on the pillow, and tried to look wise.

Figuring that by this point any karmic payback was going to hit both of them, he sang along with the chorus.

Seely started waving his free hand in the air in time with the music.

Siddhartha grew up
And was known for his kindy-kindy
Siddhartha grew up
And was known for his kindy-kindy
Everyone respected his mindy-mindy
Under the bodhi tree

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Means Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree

Jack was starting to look slightly out of breath as he left the orange robe under the tree, retrieved the crown, pulled a bag from the ~~bottomless~~ trunk, and started distributing largesse to his adoring subjects. He tossed small (http://www.chocolatebox.com.au/prod/shoplrg/goldcoins.jpg) gifts (http://cardinaldist.com/products/.25%20candy%20jewelry%20375x350.jpg) into the audience, smiling benevolently at them, before resuming his seat under the lotus tree to read a very thick book he'd grabbed from the trunk on his way past.

Singing along with the chorus? Oh yeah.

This time, when he got to the chorus, Seely came down off the stage and started holding the microphone out towards members of the audience sitting in the first few rows.

He looked out one day
And saw four signies-signies
He looked out one day
And saw four signies-signies
Old age, sickness, death, and a monk on his heiny-heiny
Under the bodhi tree

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Means Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree.

Jack dropped the robe, bounded over to the trunk and peered in, adopting a look of awe and wonder as he pulled out four objects, holding each one up for the audience to see.

Old age (http://www.norbulingka.org/dolls/dancersimages/dancers502.jpg), sickness (http://www.costumesinc.com/Costumes/images/medium/UA8589-nurse-outfit.jpg), death (http://www.chickenshop.co.uk/acatalog/SM34072.jpg), and a poster of something (http://www.thefineartcompany.co.uk/photos/FG284.JPG) that wasn't a monk, but definitely had a heiny. He grinned wickedly at the last, tossed all four back in the trunk, then scrambled back under the tree, barely avoiding tripping over the horse as he once more sang along.

His attempts to look wise and enlightened were probably less than successful.

Seely blinked when he saw the poster, but continued singing anyway.

He gave up all goods
And wandered 'round all nakey-nakey
He gave up all goods
And wandered 'round all nakey-nakey
But enlightenment did not takey-takey
Under the bodhi tree

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Means Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree

Jack collected everything that was lying on the stage - bar the orange robes - and shoved it back into the trunk, paused, then stepped behind the tree.

It wasn't a particularly wide tree, so there wasn't much to impede the audience's view as Jack stripped off the almost nothing he was wearing and stood there, all nakey-nakey.

It was, however, strategically placed and very light, so Jack carried it around in front of him as he wandered all round the stage, never quite turning his back to the audience.

Despite the fact that he'd failed to achieve enlightenment, he sounded extremely gleeful as he joined in the chorus.

Seely through supreme effort of will, just kept on singing.

He starved and he prayed
Until he was hurty-hurty
He starved and he prayed
Until he was hurty-hurty
Enlightenment did not come, not dirty-dirty
Under the Bodhi tree

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Means Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree

Jack faced something of a quandary.

If he let go of the palm tree, he'd be entirely nakey-nakey. Not that he'd mind, but he had a feeling others might.

So he hugged the tree closer, folded his hands together in prayer, and sucked in his stomach, all the while gazing sadly out at the audience, the very picture of woebegone misery.

He even sniffled a time or two as he sang mournfully along with the chorus.

He sat and he thought
He did nothing but breathey-breathey
He sat and he thought
He did nothing but breathey-breathey
Suddenly everything became clearer to hethy-hethy
Under the bodhi tree

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Means Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree

Seely gestured for everyone to join in on the chorus.

Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Four Noble Truths
And the Eightfold Pathy-Pathy
Means Nirvana and no more wrathy-wrathy
Under the bodhi tree

Jack pondered the best way to achieve this. For about two seconds.

Grinning in a distinctly what the hell manner, he walked his tree over to the robes, turned his back to the audience, and sank to the ground beside the tree.

He rested his hands on his knees, taking deep, slow breaths as Seely sang, then lifted both hands to the ceiling in enlightenment, holding them up through the first rendition of the chorus.

As the second started, Jack hopped to his feet, robes assuming a strategic importance they'd not previously held, swept the audience a bow and disappeared, stage left.

After he finished the final chorus, Seely also bowed and disappeared offstage.

"Thank you, boys!" The Tick said as they left the stage. "I doubt that people here will forget Rohatsu for some time!"

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Fandom High Holiday Pageant 2006, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

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