fandomhigh | US Government [Wednesday, November 22, 4th Period]

The classroom was empty at the beginning of period 4, but the US Government class had instructions to come in and sit down anyway. A TV was set up at the front of the class and had a label saying 'play me'.

When the TV flickered on, there was a smiling actor on the screen. "Hi! I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational videos as Adjusting Your Self-O-Stat and Fuzzy Bunny's Guide to You-Know-What.

I'm here with you today to talk about the United States Supreme Court. These are the people who decide if the bills that are passed are Constitutional. And boy, do they do more than wear those cool robes." He winked, then proceeded to lecture about SCOTUS (which wasn't a dirty acronym).

"You may remember such landmark court cases as Marbury v. Madison, McCulloch v. Maryland and The United States v. Homer J. Simpson." He went on describe Dred Scott and Plessy v. Ferguson before covering Brown v. Board of Education, Gideon v. Wainwright, Miranda v. Arizona, Roe v. Wade, Nixon v. US, and ended with Bush v. Gore.

"Now, young Americans or lesser nationals learning about the great nation of the United States, here's your discussion question: The only way to get rid of a member of the Supreme Court is either through retirement or the icy hand of death. Why do you think the Founders decided that was important for the federal judiciary? Do you think they would've reconsidered given that we live much longer now?

This is Troy McClure wishing you good luck, patriots."

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"And drawin' right quickly."

"What did you do if you weren't good at drawing?" Willow asked.

"Don't get involved in duels. Or cheat."

"Cheating, right," Willow nodded, as though knowledgable. "Like paint but pretend you used colored pencils."

"No, you definitely want paint on the rock. But I'm talkin' more like 'have three of your friends surround the other guy and also fire at him.'"

"Is it faster with three other people?" Willow asked. "It's not a situation of cooks being too many?"

"Don't matter if it's faster enough, the other three guys shoot your enemy before he even draws anything."

"Ohhhh, like cameras," Willow said, thinking she got it.

"Huh? What the hell kind of duel are you talking about?"

"Instead of drawing with a pencil," Willow explained.

"Now why on Earth would you draw your gun with a pencil?"

"I assumed that was the preferred way to do it," Willow said. "Crayons, while fun, lack a certain gravitas."

"I generally find that one's finger is the preferred method."

"Isn't the result both painful and invisible?"

"Not if you do it right. I'd show you, but I ain't got my piece."

"Maybe another time then," Willow said. "I've got no real talent in that area, so I'm envious."

"I'm the fastest draw west of the Colorado circa 1894," boasted Pete.

"That's very commendable," Willow said. "I imagine it must've been hard to keep in practice given the whole need to stay alive."

"The two prospects do blend together in most situations."

"See? Blending. Much more advanced than what I can do," Willow said with a knowing nod.

"Perhaps some afternoon we can go down to the gun range and I can show you a trick or two?" Pete leered.

"That's not better taught somewhere with natural light?" Willow asked.

"It's taught where the guns are."

"Wow," Willow said. "They take drawing lessons very seriously where you're from."

"It can be a matter of life and death."

"Those who are good at it must be revered like gods," Willow said.

"Day-amn right."

"I'm very fortunate in my teacher then," Willow said. "It's very kind of you to offer."

"No problem, Darlin'. Might as well share my expertise with those not blessed with my skills."

"Well then thank yew kind sir," Willow replied, trying to get a Western accent right. Trying was the operative word here.

Pete didn't seem to notice. He tipped his hat. "You're quite welcome, darlin'."

US Government [Wednesday, November 22, 4th Period]

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