fandomhigh | Heroism, Humanism & Hijinks: Literature in Action

Dummies' Guide to Alice in Wonderland

"Good afternoon," Thursday greeted from the front of the class. Behind her, as she spoke, a cat started to appear out of nowhere - grin first. "First of all, you should all know that Hamlet Dane is now the TA for this class. This week we're discussing Alice in Wonderland. Those of you from 20th century Earth would at least know it by reputation."

"I have a reputation?" the appearing cat said.

Thursday stepped aside and looked back. "Apparently," she replied. "As promised, we have a guest in our class today. This is the Unitary Authority of Warrington Cat, or the Cat Formerly Known As Cheshire. You would know him from the novel as the Cheshire Cat."

The Cat looked around the room with eyes that just appeared into view. "Does anyone have any Mogglicious cat food?"

Thursday continued without waiting for anyone to answer him. "The Cat is here to prove a point. Last week we discussed the power of words. Today's topic is how words can be used to confuse. Each of you are free to ask the Cat any questions. He will answer as he pleases."

"What if I please not to answer at all?"

"No Mogglicious."

The Cat appeared into full view. "Shall we begin?" he asked with a grin.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"So what flavor is the white kind?"

"Dental floss flavour."

Dawn figured she should have expected that. "How long does it take you to floss?"

"Three days, give or take six hours."

"Who do you give them to?" Dawn asked. "Is there a line, or a form, or something?"

"Now you're catching on," the Cat said. "Form 221B - Declaration of Donating Hours. The receiver has to fill out form 221C - Declaration of Receiving Donated Hours. I don't give them to anyone in particular, but I hear that doctors' offices like to gather them."