Conner bounced up out of his seat, rubbing his hands and grinning. "Okay. So. There's this soccer player. He's been with the team since the beginning of the season, but he's so slow and clumsy he's done nothing but ride the bench all year. It's the last game of the season, and man, it's brutal out there. Fouls and injuries all over the freakin' field, right? He's thinking, 'Sweet, dude, maybe I finally get my chance!'"

"Game keeps going, the subs keep getting used, it hits the eightieth minute and there's another player getting carried off the field. The coach looks over at the substitute bench and straight at this poor bench-riding bastard, and he gets super excited. He looks back at the coach and goes, 'You sending me in, coach? You sending me in?'"

Conner grinned even more as he got toward the punchline. "And the coach says, 'No, get out of the way! I'm sending in the bench!'"