fandomhigh | How to Be an Entertainer Workshop #2, Caritas, 05.31.06, Afternoon

GOB stood up on stage and began to speak when the group was assembled. "Okay, kids, last week you picked out your entrance music. So today, we're going to start with you taking the stage to it and introducing yourself. You might be wondering why you didn't you introduce yourself last week. That's because last week you were nobody. This week, you have entrance music. That gives you the potential to be somebody."

"Give your music selections to Mr. Tino over there and prepare to make a grand entrance. Your entrance is what makes you a star. When you come on stage, you have to own the stage. Dance moves, quick illusions, taking your pants off, whatever you have to do to get the audience under your thrall." Tino whispered something to GOB. "Good call, Tino. Don't take your pants off during a school-sponsored workshop. Own the stage without losing any clothing. And if you can own the stage successfully, the audience is your whore. So have the band play your music, try to make us your whore, and tell us a little about yourself."

"When we're all done with that, we're going to focus on improv comedy. You'll pair up with whoever, get up there, and try to make me laugh. If I laugh, you'll get a free drink from the bar!" Tino leaned over and whispered something. "Really? Fine. Mr. Tino wants me to let you know that it should be something non-alcoholic. Mr. Tino here says that if I give you free booze, the school might have problems with that. Personally, I think he's being a jerk, but I like you nobodies enough that I'm not going to risk getting pulled from the class."

"Okay, let me go and introduce myself, then you can follow suit."

[OOC: OCD ~~coming up~~ is up. Will reply throughout the day at work.]

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The Zombie Band started to play The Final Countdown (http://www.terminator-music.co.uk/MIDI/EUROPE.MID) as GOB took the stage. He strutted up and back across the stage with authority, giving fierce looks, and finally pulling some cards out of thin air. Spinning around the stage while holding the cards out - and in no way looking like a tool - GOB made his way to the front of the stage, went down to one knee, clapped the cards together, and a white dove appeared.

Not rising from his knee yet, GOB introduced himself. "My name is GOB Bluth, I'm an entertainer from California, and I own this place, this stage, and I just made you all my whore. Next!"

Gather, find a partner, discuss what you're going to do, and chat.

Be funny, win a non-alcoholic drink. Suck and have a 40+ year-old man boo you off the stage.

If you really need GOB's attention after everyone's done performing. He'll be at the bar at that point.

... I called everyone a nobody and a collective whore. BEST TEACHER EVER.

Oh yeah? Where are the badgers? I don't see any badgers.

Next week.

The band played ~~Waltzing Matilda~~ Don't Cry for Me, Argentina in the traditional manner, and Nadia took the stage. She'd brought her guitar. As she hit center, she turned and started playing a faster, punker version of the song and bouncing a bit on the stage, as guitarists sometimes do. She stays focused on the neck of the guitar and her fingering, ignoring the audience completely and almost showing contempt for them until the very end, when she strikes a power chord and slides on her knees to the front of the stage. When the chord fades out she looks out at the audience and says: "Hi, I'm Nadia, from Buenos Aires. Do I have to call you my whores? Because that seems wrong, somehow."

The Zombie Band started to play the theme from ~~"The A-Team"~~ "The B-Team" (http://www.terminator-music.co.uk/MIDI/ATEAM.MID) as four Jamies burst onto the stage. One was wearing lots of gaudy gold jewelry, another one was wearing leather gloves and smoking a cigar, another one was looking into a mirror and the last one was wearing a baseball cap and had a sock on his hand.

"We're Jamie Madrox. Fool!" The Jamie wearing gold jewelry yelled out loud.

"And we're a mutant from New York City" said the sock puppet.

"You're not a mutant. You're a sock! Fool."

"I love it when a plan comes together," said the Jamie with leather gloves.

"Uh? Colonel? There wasn't really any plan," said the Jamie with the mirror.

"Fool. Colonel says he has a plan, then he has a plan. Fool. Just as long as it doesn't involve me getting on a plane with sock puppet boy, I'm fine with it. Fool."

"Relax B.A. We're only doing an introduction. Now we can take the entire bar apart and build some ridiculous contraption that will allow us to break up the local mob." Leather-gloved Jamie replied as he sucked on a stogie. "Thanks for coming in kids! Don't forget to tip Tino!"

After doing his grand entrance, Jamie sits back and wonders who he should partner with.

Nadia leaned over towards him. "I think you win just for the sock puppet."

"Nadia, good job. You're not a nobody. And you don't have to call these guys whores, you just have to understand that with that entrance, you've bought them for the hour."

"Good job, Jamie. Jamies. But don't take the bar apart."

"Oh. Well, okay then."

"Gee Colonel, How are we going to take down the mob?"

"Don't worry Babyface. There's a junkyard nearby that will suit our needs."

"Would it have any socks there so my friend Julio can find a girlfriend?"

"Shut up, Fool."

Jamie nodded in agreement. "When in doubt? Always go for the sock puppets. It's a universal thing. Want to team up for the improv thing?"

Nadia shrugged. "Sure. Sounds like fun."

"If Julio needs a girl, I know a place where he could probably make time with a sexy sock," GOB said. "It's just down the street a little. He might even get to spend time in a sock orgy if you have the money for it and their socks are game."

The band started to play "Eye of the Tiger" loudly and Peter burst onto the stage. He busted out some dance moves (a lot of ass shaking was involved) and did a lot of jazz hands. For a fat guy he was actually quite nimble.

"Hiya! I'm Peter Griffin from Rhode Island!"

He then did a clumsy cartwheel.

"You are all my whores! And I won't be gentle!"

After doing his entrance Peter sat a table. He was breathing heavily because of all the acrobatics he had to do up there.

Nadia shuddered.

"Oooo! Julio's very interested!"

"Shut up, Fool!"

"Now, BA who are we to deny the forbidden love known only to sock puppets?"

"Watch it Babyface. The blood vessel in his forehead is beginning to throb."

"Oh, God," GOB said, averting his eyes. "Yeah, good job, Peter. But next time, please think of the people who had to watch that."

John has the Zombie Band cue up the Baywatch (http://www.sendspace.com/file/9ft26j) theme and then, doing his best lifeguard impression, runs on stage, looking left, looking right and then doing a very sloooooooow motion run from one end of the stage to the other.

"I'm John Crichton, at your service. Ain't no gator to big, ain't no wave to scary, and I'm here to save you from the the dullness everyone else is, no doubt, projecting. I am throwing you the life preserve of FUN!"

Jamie swooned.

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How to Be an Entertainer Workshop #2, Caritas, 05.31.06, Afternoon

Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Pair Up For Comedy [WS2]

The Stage [WS2]

Talk to GOB [WS2]

OOC [WS2]

Re: OOC [WS2]

Re: OOC [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Pair Up For Comedy [WS2]

Re: Pair Up For Comedy [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Pair Up For Comedy [WS2]

Re: Pair Up For Comedy [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Pair Up For Comedy [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]

Re: Own the Stage/Sign In [WS2]