Amaya Blackstone (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
special_rabbit) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2024-01-23 04:44 am
special_rabbit) wrote in fandomhigh2024-01-23 04:44 am
Entry tags:
Shop Class; Tuesday, Fourth Period [01/23].
The morning had actually been fairly quiet for Amaya; sure, sure, when she was working at the forge earlier, she did find herself singing a bit more than normal, but that wasn't that uncommon for a blacksmith to have a ditty or two to belt out while they worked; the hammering of steel on an anvil required a certain rhythm that just lent itself well to musicality. But they were all old pirate songs that she knew from childhood; she didn't think anything of it, so she was not expecting what was about to happen as she got into the shop classroom and set things up for the lesson.
She nodded, as usual, standing behind a table laden with all sorts of tools for the workshop that she planned to go over, as a review of all of them and how to use them, but, when she picked up a hammer to get things started, what came out of her mouth was not exactly what she'd planned for it to be, past the first line....
"First things first," Amaya sang, with a beat starting up from somewhere, but she didn't seem to, at that moment, notice or care, where that source may have been from and why she was going along with it, "I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodeling is my only passion (it's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted (hey hey hey)
Just one man that's always trusted."
Oh, good, that was over; Amaya shook her head to shake it off (🎵Shake it off 🎵) and get back to the lesson, but ohno, it was actually a chorus break and now there was choreography:
"I'm so handy, you already know
I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flows
I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's about to explode."
"I'm really sorry!" she managed to squeeze in there before the next chorus, "I can't--"
But the music was continuing, and it waited for now non-musical excuses, Amaya!
"Now you see that your furnace is needing some service," she continued reluctantly,
"I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure's too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot
Because your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique.
"Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one."
By the time the next chorus came around, Amaya was clearly just going through the motions and hoping the song wasn't too long, because it was clear it needed to just run it's course:
"I'm so handy, everyone said so
I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh.
"Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
I won't quit 'til I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb"
She really could have done without the pantomime of actually hammering her thumb just now, but there was no time to dwell on it, when there was still more of the song to go, apparently everyone had to sit through the whole thing:
"Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker.
"I'm so handy, you already know
I'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
I'm so handy, you should call this pro
I'm in the phone book and se habla Español"
And, finally, the music faded and Amaya breathed out a sigh of relief and shook her head.
"Well," she finally said, not sang, "sorry about that. I was going to go over some of the other tools we'll be using in this class this semester, but I'm really concerned about what songs might be out there about drill-bits and Phillips-head screwdrivers, so, erm...Well, let's just start with what you might like to know more about and hold our breaths and hope for the best, I guess..."
She nodded, as usual, standing behind a table laden with all sorts of tools for the workshop that she planned to go over, as a review of all of them and how to use them, but, when she picked up a hammer to get things started, what came out of her mouth was not exactly what she'd planned for it to be, past the first line....
"First things first," Amaya sang, with a beat starting up from somewhere, but she didn't seem to, at that moment, notice or care, where that source may have been from and why she was going along with it, "I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodeling is my only passion (it's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted (hey hey hey)
Just one man that's always trusted."
Oh, good, that was over; Amaya shook her head to shake it off (🎵Shake it off 🎵) and get back to the lesson, but ohno, it was actually a chorus break and now there was choreography:
"I'm so handy, you already know
I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flows
I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's about to explode."
"I'm really sorry!" she managed to squeeze in there before the next chorus, "I can't--"
But the music was continuing, and it waited for now non-musical excuses, Amaya!
"Now you see that your furnace is needing some service," she continued reluctantly,
"I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure's too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot
Because your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique.
"Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one."
By the time the next chorus came around, Amaya was clearly just going through the motions and hoping the song wasn't too long, because it was clear it needed to just run it's course:
"I'm so handy, everyone said so
I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh.
"Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
I won't quit 'til I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb"
She really could have done without the pantomime of actually hammering her thumb just now, but there was no time to dwell on it, when there was still more of the song to go, apparently everyone had to sit through the whole thing:
"Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker.
"I'm so handy, you already know
I'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
I'm so handy, you should call this pro
I'm in the phone book and se habla Español"
And, finally, the music faded and Amaya breathed out a sigh of relief and shook her head.
"Well," she finally said, not sang, "sorry about that. I was going to go over some of the other tools we'll be using in this class this semester, but I'm really concerned about what songs might be out there about drill-bits and Phillips-head screwdrivers, so, erm...Well, let's just start with what you might like to know more about and hold our breaths and hope for the best, I guess..."