Sam Eagle (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
but_mostly_america) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2023-09-21 01:51 pm
but_mostly_america) wrote in fandomhigh2023-09-21 01:51 pm
Sam Eagle Presents: The Weird States of America, Thursday 9/21
"Welcome back students!" Sam called out at the precise moment class was due to begin.
"I must apologize for my absence last week. I was in a state of disarray." He'd been caught up in some absolute Muppet nonsense. He did not want to talk about it.
"However we are all here this week and that is what is important!"
Sure, Sam. This class was very important. Absolutely vital.
"We will begin our discussion of states with our nearest neighbor to this very strange island, Maryland! Maryland is, of course, right next to the capital of our great country. However, it is also unfortunately very weird."
"First of all, this island is located, somehow, in Maryland! Does this make Maryland the weirdest of all states? That is something we shall discuss during this semester!"
Sam shook his head slowly and sadly. This island certainly counted against Maryland in his book.
"Additionally, Maryland as a whole is obsessed with a seasoning blend called Old Bay. They put it on and in everything!"
Weirdos, the lot of them.
"They also seem rather obsessed with crabs, much like the clinic on this island. Do not seek medical care from a crustacean!"
Sam hoped he didn't actually need to give that disclaimer. But Sam also knew that he did, Gonzo.
"Now, who would like to tell me why they think Maryland is or is not weird?"
"I must apologize for my absence last week. I was in a state of disarray." He'd been caught up in some absolute Muppet nonsense. He did not want to talk about it.
"However we are all here this week and that is what is important!"
Sure, Sam. This class was very important. Absolutely vital.
"We will begin our discussion of states with our nearest neighbor to this very strange island, Maryland! Maryland is, of course, right next to the capital of our great country. However, it is also unfortunately very weird."
"First of all, this island is located, somehow, in Maryland! Does this make Maryland the weirdest of all states? That is something we shall discuss during this semester!"
Sam shook his head slowly and sadly. This island certainly counted against Maryland in his book.
"Additionally, Maryland as a whole is obsessed with a seasoning blend called Old Bay. They put it on and in everything!"
Weirdos, the lot of them.
"They also seem rather obsessed with crabs, much like the clinic on this island. Do not seek medical care from a crustacean!"
Sam hoped he didn't actually need to give that disclaimer. But Sam also knew that he did, Gonzo.
"Now, who would like to tell me why they think Maryland is or is not weird?"