Stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stykera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2022-03-22 11:28 am
stykera) wrote in fandomhigh2022-03-22 11:28 am
Living with Trauma, Tuesday 3/22, 3rd Period
Once again the classroom was set up as a normal classroom and once again Stark was at the front of the room holding tightly to his cup of coffee. Like the clinic shift yesterday this was part of the new routine and if he didn't cling to that routine he was going to fall apart again. Or maybe he was still falling apart and he’d only slowed things down a little. It was hard to say.
“There are people,” he began, “who think grief can be divided into stages. Five, usually. It doesn’t really work like that. Not in my experience. There is no neat progression. It’s messy. Grief is messy. Pain is messy. Life is messy. Sometimes it isn’t progression at all. It’s everything, all at once. I…I can accept that something has happened and be angry at it and be hurt by it and want to change it and refuse to believe it all at once." He was well practiced at being sad and angry at the same time, and at wanting to change things but being unable to do so, for example. He would have bargained if he could. "Or sometimes not all at once but there is always overlap. It’s not linear. It’s not simple. Anyone who tells you it is is lying to you."
"But sometimes it can help, to try and think of things in pieces. Stages. Parts. To break things down into smaller things to help understand them. Or try to. Maybe just to understand that all of those things are a part of what you'll go through. Are going through. Have gone through. So we can talk about that, today. The 5 stages that may or may not be distinct at all. I don't think they are. But as a tool this could be useful for some. Maybe even for some of you."
"Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Those are the five. What do you all think?"
“There are people,” he began, “who think grief can be divided into stages. Five, usually. It doesn’t really work like that. Not in my experience. There is no neat progression. It’s messy. Grief is messy. Pain is messy. Life is messy. Sometimes it isn’t progression at all. It’s everything, all at once. I…I can accept that something has happened and be angry at it and be hurt by it and want to change it and refuse to believe it all at once." He was well practiced at being sad and angry at the same time, and at wanting to change things but being unable to do so, for example. He would have bargained if he could. "Or sometimes not all at once but there is always overlap. It’s not linear. It’s not simple. Anyone who tells you it is is lying to you."
"But sometimes it can help, to try and think of things in pieces. Stages. Parts. To break things down into smaller things to help understand them. Or try to. Maybe just to understand that all of those things are a part of what you'll go through. Are going through. Have gone through. So we can talk about that, today. The 5 stages that may or may not be distinct at all. I don't think they are. But as a tool this could be useful for some. Maybe even for some of you."
"Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Those are the five. What do you all think?"