Stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stykera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2022-02-08 07:35 am
stykera) wrote in fandomhigh2022-02-08 07:35 am
Living with Trauma, Tuesday 2/8, 3rd Period
Stark, somehow looking even rougher than he had last week, still managed to be at the front of the classroom again today. He was clutching a large coffee from the Perk like his life depended on it, but he was there.
“Sometimes,” he said, “when things happen to you or around you, it makes it difficult to go on. Sleeping can be hard. Eating can be hard. Everything can be hard.” Yes, kids, he was absolutely talking from experience here. Could you tell?
“Once, when I was h-...when I was where I was before I was here, on the ship I lived on, I was forced to do something I didn’t want to do. My friends…they had a good reason for making me do it. I don’t blame them now. Or at least not so much. They went about it all wrong. It hurt. I wasn’t ready. I felt betrayed. I was betrayed. These were people I trusted. I…I shut down. Stopped eating, stopped talking. I couldn’t do anything, even if I wanted to. I didn’t want to. I wanted to hide and be left alone. I wasn’t alone. But then I did hide, when something worse started happening, and I was alone, and things were worse and then…then suddenly things cleared. I nearly drowned, but things improved. I improved, at least. Everything else was still…we were in the middle of a war. Nothing was good but I was a little better than I was. I don’t recommend drowning as a way to stop being trapped inside your own head. But it worked.” No, he was not going to throw himself into the ocean anytime soon to try this again. Probably.
“Sometimes,” he continued after a very long sip from his coffee, “you need something else to focus on. Nearly dying is not a good thing to focus on. Effective. But not good. There are better options.” Stark had not found one that was effective currently but hopefully he would. Eventually.
“School could be a distraction. Work. Friends. Someone to talk to. Just something else to do. Anything else. Going somewhere else can help, if you can. My friends once tried…no, bad example. Never mind. It was a good idea but it didn’t end well.” Hopefully this week’s spa excursion wouldn’t end in trauma and/or deaths that didn’t need to happen.
“So. Something to think about. To talk about. Ways to help yourself move on. Less dramatic ones than nearly dying, if you have them. What has worked for you? What hasn’t? Or…you don’t have to talk about yourself. Just like always. I won’t make you. Never that.”
“Sometimes,” he said, “when things happen to you or around you, it makes it difficult to go on. Sleeping can be hard. Eating can be hard. Everything can be hard.” Yes, kids, he was absolutely talking from experience here. Could you tell?
“Once, when I was h-...when I was where I was before I was here, on the ship I lived on, I was forced to do something I didn’t want to do. My friends…they had a good reason for making me do it. I don’t blame them now. Or at least not so much. They went about it all wrong. It hurt. I wasn’t ready. I felt betrayed. I was betrayed. These were people I trusted. I…I shut down. Stopped eating, stopped talking. I couldn’t do anything, even if I wanted to. I didn’t want to. I wanted to hide and be left alone. I wasn’t alone. But then I did hide, when something worse started happening, and I was alone, and things were worse and then…then suddenly things cleared. I nearly drowned, but things improved. I improved, at least. Everything else was still…we were in the middle of a war. Nothing was good but I was a little better than I was. I don’t recommend drowning as a way to stop being trapped inside your own head. But it worked.” No, he was not going to throw himself into the ocean anytime soon to try this again. Probably.
“Sometimes,” he continued after a very long sip from his coffee, “you need something else to focus on. Nearly dying is not a good thing to focus on. Effective. But not good. There are better options.” Stark had not found one that was effective currently but hopefully he would. Eventually.
“School could be a distraction. Work. Friends. Someone to talk to. Just something else to do. Anything else. Going somewhere else can help, if you can. My friends once tried…no, bad example. Never mind. It was a good idea but it didn’t end well.” Hopefully this week’s spa excursion wouldn’t end in trauma and/or deaths that didn’t need to happen.
“So. Something to think about. To talk about. Ways to help yourself move on. Less dramatic ones than nearly dying, if you have them. What has worked for you? What hasn’t? Or…you don’t have to talk about yourself. Just like always. I won’t make you. Never that.”