fandomhigh | Culinary Crimes; Tuesday, Second Period [05/11].

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culinary crimes

Culinary Crimes; Tuesday, Second Period [05/11].

Ahhh, it felt good to be back in the kitchen classroom again! Well, it felt good for Summer to be back in the kitchen classroom again; she was pretty sure everyone else would be miserable and mildly terrified about it, and if they weren't then she clearly wasn't doing her job!

"Hi, everyone," she beamed from the front of the classroom once it looked like everyone was ready to go, "and welcome to Culinary Crimes, which is a class that will take a moment to recreate some highly questionable recipes and put them under trial to decide if they've just gotten a bad rap or they truly do deserve to be locked away into horrible recipe jail for good. For those of you who don't know me," which wasn't many of you, she was pleased to see, although it would have been nice to break more new people, because she was terrible, apparently, "my name is Summer, I've been deep-diving into the world of questionable recipes, with a focus on gelatin, for years now, it's sort of become my passion, and one of my favorite things is to share that passion with other people."

Sharing your passion was apparently now synonymous with torturing.

"Today, we're going to start out with a bang, with a focus on actually two recipes, both involving fruit and seafood."

Because weren't those two things that you always thought to put together!

"But before we do that, since this our first class, I really would like to go around and do some introductions. It's helpful to me even though I know most of you, but it's also helpful to you guys in case you don't know each other yet, but, believe me, by the end of this class, you'll all have shared an inescapable bond through what you've experienced here."

You know. Like PTSD, or something.

"So before we get started on our dishes, let's just go around the room, share with everyone your name, maybe what kind of cooking experience you have so far, why you were interested in taking this course, maybe a little about yourself, and let's hear what maybe some of your favorite foods are."

So that she could ruin them later.

"If you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions, now would probably be a good time to mention those, but I will warn you, that might get you out of trying some stuff, but some of this stuff, there's no avoiding."

Though it may easily spark many future food aversions!

"Who would like to go first?"

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Ready to be disgusted!

Which Summer hopes will inspire a mix of 'you know, this isn't so bad sofar!' and 'dear lord, what have I gotten myself into?'

There were prawns behind her, people. Prawns.

Let's get to know each other! Knowing each other will allow Summer to tailor this experience to better suit her students, after all!

So, who are you, do you like cooking, why are you here, and what sort of things can she attempt to utterly ruin for you in the future?

"Alright!" Summer beamed when the last person had gone, clapping her hands together as she stood at attention at her station, ready to go. "Awesome. Thanks, guys. Now, let's get to business and the whole reason we're here today and make some food! Like I said at the top of the hour, today we're actually going to kick it off with two recipes, both of which involve fruit and seafood. We're going to start out with the easier one first, and then try the more complicated one, which means we begin with anchovy cream stuffed apricots."

Yes. Those were all words she put together in one sentence.

"The nice thing about this one, too, is that the recipe calls for pink food dye. Pink is my favorite color, so that automatically makes it more fun! And how can you not love anything that involves not anchovies themselves, but the essence of anchovies? But you'd better believe we do have actual anchovies available if you really want to take your anchovy apricots up to the next level. Now...."

With that, Summer instructed everyone to consider their recipe cards on their stations for reference as she lead them through the process, and once they were ready to pop into the fridge for cooling, it was time to move onto the next one.

"So while those are cooling, we can now move onto our second seafood-stuffed fruit delight, and that is prawn-stuffed apples, that old gem! Where the recipe not only specifies that you use eating apples, but actually not only involves our soon-to-be very good friend mayonaisse, but also a splash of Tabasco, so you know we're really getting wild here by actually acknowledging spice exists! So what we're going to do with these is, we're going to start by cutting off the tops of the apples and hollowing them out..."

And with that, they were well on their way to some truly fine culinary art!

"And now," said Summer with a faint grin, "is the fun part. Now is the time where we actually get to try what we've just made so we can make an educated, experienced verdict on whether these culinary crimes are justified in their reputations or if they're really actually not that bad. So grab a fork, dig in, share your thoughts, and please note that there are bins at each of your station if your opinion decides to come up in the form of regurgitation.

"And remember," Summer added, weilding a fork of her own to prove her own solidarity in this matter, "we're all in this together."

She suspects she might be making a few enemies by the end of this class, really.

You know, I really start to worry when I read through some possible recipes for these classes and most of the time, all I think is, "This doesn't sound too bad, actually..."

Ignis Scientia

Stark

Clare Devlin

"I'm Clare Devlin," Clare said, words tumbling over each other, "and I'm from Derry, in Northern Ireland? I like fish and chips and roast dinner and soda bread--normal food."

Summer wasn't sure she caught all of that, which was a shame because she was particularly interested because Clare was definitely a newb and probably had no idea what she was getting herself into.

For this class and the school as a whole.

But she definitely caught the last part.

"Well, I mean," Summer offered, "norman's all a bit relative, anyway, isn't it? But I can assure you," was it really a reassurance, Summer?, "nothing in thos class will be normal."

If it was, she either kind of pitied your diet or was simply not trying hard enough.

"I'm Stark," Stark said, eyeing Summer a bit suspiciously. He wasn't sure how he'd ended up in this workshop but if he was supposed to be here he was supposed to be here. "I... am not sure why I'm here." Moose? Anakin causing trouble? It was a mystery. "I suppose to see what you come up with?" And be horrified by it. "I bake, more than I cook."

Hannibal Lecter

Hannibal highly approved of turning "sharing your passions" into "torturing others", so it was a shame that was only in the narrative. Still, he had a slight smile on his face that was his version of absolutely beaming at Summer.

He was so proud.

"Dr. Hannibal Lecter." He nodded to the class and smiled at Summer. "I enjoy gourmet cooking and have taught it for several years here, on and off. I am here because I enjoy supporting my former student in exploring her ability to share her passion with others."

He was not sharing his favorite food. Sorry not sorry, Summer.

"Awwww." Summer poured a little, but not really. "And here I thought you'd be here because you liked me or something, Stark."

Yeah, definitely not actually pouting, unless pouting was now grinning.

"And you know? I don't really come across a lot of recipes that include baking, so I'll definitely keep my eye out for something for a future class."

Wouldn't he be so thrilled?

Hannibal had known he was getting into this. He had to remind himself as he saw the sheer amount of mayonnaise being used.

His food was going to at least look glorious, though!

That was because you were a smart, smart man, Hannibal.

"I am so excited to have you in this class, Dr. Lecter."

Mostly because she was not going to be nearly as loose on the excuses to avoid eating things as she may be socially.

This was all partly your fault, Lecter. The hens have come to roost, and were now going to be served with copious amounts of mayonnaise and gelatin and canned fruit.

Hannibal toasted at Summer with his fork and dug in. Well, slightly dipped in.

After the apricots, he made a pained face. "I suppose the saving grace is that I can taste very little past the cheap chemical food dye."

After the apples... "There might be a way of making these palatable," he declared. "Perhaps with less mayonnaise and pickle." Maybe.

Also because he didn't fancy being arrested.

"And I am happy to be here," he assured her, "no matter how interesting it may get."

He might be disgusted and longing for real food by the end of each day, but he would still be so proud!

"My name is Ignis Scientia," Ignis offered, with a nod mostly to his fellow classmates in this ridiculous to better ignore the smirk on Summer's face, although his attention was entirely on her as he finished out with, "and after hearing so much about Summer's notorious cooking classes, how could I not absolutely jump at the opportunity to take one for myself?"

And no amount of mayonnaise would be able to help a voice that dry.

You were getting the biggest, saddest eye Stark could manage now, Summer.

"You know I like you." Otherwise he would have run away from the very idea of this class already.

"You don't need to find baked goods on my account. I've seen plenty of horrifying recipes on my own." He watched Cupcake Wars and he'd seen some things. Tuna-wasabi cupcake type things.

You couldn't use a sad eye on Summer when she was just teasing, Stark! A sad eye when she was just teasing was unfair!

So her grin softened quite a bit when she said, "I mean, if you wanted to send any of those terrifying recipes my way, you know I'll be more than happy to have them."

Seriously, substitute the tuna for shrimp, and she'd be down.

Maybe she should do a shrimp intensive one of these sessions, actually.

It worked for bananas!

Liam Kincaid-Price

“Liam Kincaid-Price,” he introduced himself. “I mostly lived on takeout until a couple years ago. It was my wife, actually, who inspired me to start learning how to cook.” Which sounded sweet unless you knew it was specifically because Verity committed culinary crimes of her own with those takeout leftovers. “Which is also why I’m here; to see if anything you can come up with is more concerning than her idea of an acceptable breakfast food.” He grinned. “I’m also a vegetarian; dairy and eggs are fine, but I don’t do meat.”

At least these days he was more or less fine with cooking meat which was... progress!

Stark was just very good at looking sad, Summer.

"I'll consider it." Would be though? Maybe if he'd had enough to drink. "There was tuna. And pulled pork." Not together, thankfully, but still.

At first, with Liam's introduction, Summer was about to feel worried that there might be actual disappointment in the discovery that this class was in no way attempting to be an actual cooking class (unless maybe Hannibal and Ignis paired up and executed a culinary mutiny!), but then he got to the part about acceptable breakfast food, and Summer almost laughed.

"Challenge accepted!" she said happily. "I'm sure there's going to be at least something that'll totally win her over in that respect! And I'll definitely have to include one vegetarian week. A lot of these lean on misplaced meat combinations for their real charm, so it'll be interesting to not have to rely on that."

A beat.

"Althoigh arguably, I'm not sure if some of what we could use would technically even be classified as meat."

"....together?"

Because Summer couldn't read narrative, she of course had to ask, it was the only thing she could think of when it was said!

For once in his lifetime, Ignis was actively hoping that this whole ordeal did not inspire any new recipehs.

"This seems like an appalling waste of some perfectly good prawns," he murmured consoling to himself as he considered what he was about to do in this classroom, and if he could live with himself, also realizing that this was only the first week...

"No," Stark said firmly. "They were bad enough separately. And now I've probably given you ideas and I should stop talking."

"Nothing?" Clare echoed, alarmed.

"Sweet merciful Christ," Clare said as she put the food together, "even Orla wouldn't try this."

Stark was working on his recipes in a very resigned way. All of these ingredients seemed fine on their own. Who had decided any of them needed to be combined in such a way?

The apricots seemed more offensive than the apples. But since the food was there and he'd even made it he was going to have to eat it because Stark hated wasting food.

The big sad eye from earlier was making a return as Stark sighed and took a bite of his apricot. He regretted that bite. But he swallowed it because it was still food. Barely.

The apple was slightly less terrible.

"There was no reason to combine any of these things," he muttered.

Perfectly good fruit, tortured into these concoctions!

"Well," Summer amended quickly, "that's a little bit of hyperbole, the ingredients themselves will actually be pretty normal, but not the way they're being put together, mostly. I'm not going to make you guys put, like, flies in ice cream, or anything."

Unless they were into that!

It was surprisingly not bad!!

"Yeah, I'm definitely already planning on breaking out the blender and doing a layered shot tomorrow," Summer admitted.

But at least she sounded vaguely apologetic about it?

"I'll take that as a warning," Stark said. "Should I avoid the bar entirely?"

That was an empty threat. He liked Wednesdays.

"I can promise you at least one candy-inspired one if you don't," Summer countered, wondering if she should give him sad eyes for having suggested such a thing!

Edited 2021-05-11 17:52 (UTC)

Stark pretended to consider that offer for a moment before nodding. "That seems fair."

Nell Ingram

"M'Nell Ingram," she said. "I've been cookin' since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I'm mostly used to down home cooking, but I'm always happy to try new things."

And she could turn a wide variety of questionable things into tasty meals, but this class might just break her. If she only knew!

"That would be a terrible waste of ice cream," Clare said.

Nell just stared at the recipes. What in the world? This was an affront to the poor ingredients. She made them, but then defiantly also made a concoction of apples, apricots, finely diced cucumber and olives with a very light mayonnaise dressing with the tiniest dash of tabasco. Just to make something semi-edible with the ingredients.

The recipes were just as bad as Nell could have imagined, but her odd concoction wasn't half bad.

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Culinary Crimes; Tuesday, Second Period [05/11].

Sign In - CC, 05/11.

Listen to the Lecture - CC, 05/11.

Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Make Food! - CC, 05/11.

The Trial! - CC, 05/11.

Talk to Summer - CC, 05/11.

OOC - CC, 05/11.

Re: Sign In - CC, 05/11.

Re: Sign In - CC, 05/11.

Re: Sign In - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Sign In - CC, 05/11.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Make Food! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: The Trial! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Sign In - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Make Food! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Make Food! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Make Food! - CC, 05/11.

Re: The Trial! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Sign In - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Introductions! - CC, 05/11.

Re: Make Food! - CC, 05/11.

Re: The Trial! - CC, 05/11.