fandomhigh | Working the Long Con, Friday, Second Period

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Working the Long Con, Friday, Second Period

It was a grumpy, rumpled librarian that stomped his way into class after the students had arrived, bonelessly dropping into his chair and kicking his feet up on to his desk as he fished about in his coat for some cigarettes.

The school board might make him teach -- again -- but they couldn't make him behave.

"Right, I'm Constantine, and you're most likely here because you're gullible and thinking this is going to be an easy 'A', a delinquent, or for some strange reason thought this was an academic class with philosophical value," he said, lighting up. "More the fools you, but I can work with it."

"So, let's start with the basics. A con is a game, one where hopefully you're the one writing the rules and the people around you are the pieces you're moving. Like how you lot probably showed up last week when I didn't." Because he'd been really really hung over on the mainland.

"It's a scam, a grift, a hustle, all those words designed to make it sound as shady as possible, although the number of reasons you could be running a con are infinite, at least when you're justifying it to yourself. It usually just boils down to one, very simple motivation: You want something," he continued bluntly. "So give me your name - or whatever the hell you want to be called for the purposes of this class, I don't care - and tell me one time you ran a scam on someone. Give me an idea of what you already know, kids, then we'll get on to Arts and Crafts."

...yes, that actually was as ominous as it sounded.

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With an ulterior motive.

If you can call it that... take notes, pass notes, boggle at whom they let teach...

Name, and one time you conned someone(s) into something. Feel free to bounce off each other, John doesn't care.

"Right then," he said, pulling a laptop out of his desk once everyone was through introductions. "We're starting with the first and most basic con, the fake ID."

"I want each of you to take a few moments coming up with a new name and identity, something you can remember easily in a pinch -- especially the birthday, that's the one they always ask while they're holding your ID -- then get your asses up here to use the webcam to take your picture and then place an order through the wonders of the internet."

Look, he was pretty sure half these kids didn't have any kind of ID in the first place. They might as well have something to have with them if they wanted to go do anything off-island, where people demanded ID for shite as ridiculous as a PG-13 movie.

Anything else the kids did with them was not his problem.

Apparently I teach this class every three years: 2013, 2016, 2019...

Billy Batson

Vette

Was Vette grinning brilliantly at 'delinquent?' Why yes, yes she was.

It probably wasn't hard to tell which category she fell under, there.

"I'm Vette," and no, that was not her real name, and no, she did not volunteer that to just anybody, "and I've got a whole gang back home running cons all the time. Mostly we target people who have taken possession of Twi'lek cultural artifacts that belong back on our homeworld, but we've been known to scam," and outright murder, "some who have taken more... ugly... interests in Twi'lek people, too. The last big one was some rich Duros scumbag, Cada Bliss. Kinda into the whole bag, you know? Artifacts, clothing, women. We took him for everything he was worth, left him fuming and without a credit to his name."

And this would in no way bite Vette in the ass later, sure.

Vette put up her hand.

"I already have one of these for Earth," she noted. "It's weird, there was something called Photoshop involved? I don't suppose there's a way to get these things done up for where I'm from, huh? You can never have too many fakes."

Not that she could get home these days, but she didn't generally even look at her Earth fake. Her face in human cosplay unsettled her in ways that made her lekku twitch.

Lana Beniko

"I'm Lana Beniko." Lana frowned and thought about it. "I don't think I've conned anyone into anything before." Yet. "Unless convincing people to work together counts?"

Delirium

Delirium listened. She didn't really understand the why of anything the teacher said but she supposed the why wasn't all that important.

The cigarette was yukky. Cigarettes in general were yukky but the one in the room that she had to see and smell was the yukkiest and Delirium would like it ever so much better if it were, say, a candy stick that tasted the way a first bite of sharp cheese felt - all tongue-tingly-and-happy when your cheeks go tight and your mouth waters in anticipation of the delicious about to happen. That feeling. Only as a candy stick flavor. It would be ever, ever so much nicer.

"I'm, um, Delirium. Hi." She looked around the room, a little bit confused. Then she brightened and sat up proudly, "And I have never conned anyone into anything! That is why I am taking this class! To understand why people would con someone into doing something instead of asking them nicely with a 'please' and a 'thank you'!"

Barnabas was on the floor, slowly wrapping his paws over his eyes.

Delirium was bouncing on her toes. New names! She was the best at thinking up new names!

"Iiiii," she declared when it was her turn, "Am Amaryllis Beatrice Consuela Daphne Eurydice Ferniswell Ganymede Honoria Islington Jemsimalle Keukitonia Lenore Marzipan Nematodea Ozymandius Pennyroalties Quizmalia Rosepetal Sophronia Turpingtinnington Usvelius Venezenobia Willheminna Xohrzha Ysabellion Zamanasthras!"

Beat. Birthdays were hard. "My birthday is February 30th and Iiiii.." She swanned right over that desk. "Am an actress!" Beat. "No! I am a playwright!"

Beat.

"Maybe I'm a monkey? No, no, can't be monkies today, monkies have boring names, uh.. hm.."

Theron Shan

"Theron." He shrugged and shot Constantine his best dumb, innocent grin. "I'd never even think about conning anyone."

Master Zho had always tended to extend the 'feel, don't think' habit to more areas than Jedi philosophy.

"Why would we want a different name or birthday?" Lana asked. "Nobody knows us on the mainland."

"Fucking hells, it is you," John sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "Now, was this your sister's idea, your brother's, or your sister-brother's?"

"Right, because all the students here are upstanding paragons of conventional morality," John said dryly. "Since you've never thought of conning someone, is there any prank you'd like to share with the class?"

"Totally counts," John said. "Especially if it goes against their own best interests."

"Of course it's me," Delirium responded, arching a brow, "Who else would I be?"

Beat.

"Ooooh.. " So many possibilities sprang to life in her head.

"Ahem. Delirium," Barnabas tried to redirect her.

"Huh? Oh. You left off my other sister and my other brother and my yet another brother," Delirium pointed out helpfully, "but it wasn't none of theirs. It was my own idea! My very own, thought up all by me!"

Beat.

She shuffled a foot against the floor. "Wellllll.. Lucien helped. A little."

"Well, it goes against what they were taught was in their own best interests, anyway," Lana said.

"Didn't leave her out, love, I know Dee loves me too much to do this to me without being here to take a picture of my face when you arrived," John said easily. "--and only one of your brothers is creative enough to come up with a plan this mad."

And potentially Destructive.

"Did Lucien sign you up for this, then, or did you pick this class?"

"Got a decent fake one I can borrow?" John asked. "I might not be able to mimic it, but I know some guys."

...John was not a good role model, no.

Oh, this was going to be a long semester.

"Has to be a name you can remember, pet," he reminded her. "Luckily, with your look, we can get away with something interesting. What about 'Del Nyx' or 'Eurydice Del'? Either of those should be easier for you to recall."

"Think of it as crafting an identity or persona. If you're not from here, you can use it to start to create a paper-trail of a person, in case you need to get out of town -- metaphorical town, wherever you're at -- fast and lay low on the mainland for a bit. Something that can't be tied back to you is usually best."

That suited Vette just fine! She wasn't in this class for good role models, really. She grinned, and then immediately went rummaging in her clothing for one of her fakes -- never knew when you'd be able to get home, after all, after an extended bout of being trapped on a weird island on Earth -- producing one and holding it out to him proudly.

Unless he could read Aurebesh, he probably wouldn't be able to tell that this one was declaring her name to be Supi'brill, homeworld Nar Shaddaa, but that probably wouldn't have meant much, anyway.

"Never leave home without it."

Lana thought about that. It definitely made sense, so she nodded and got to work.

"I remember everything," Del chirped, "I'm so good at remembering things that I remember things that haven't happened!"

Barnabas whuffed. "I think perhaps there's a character limit, Delirium, so you will need a shorter name?"

"Oh," Del said, thinking, "Can I be Zenobia delIrium? That sounds fancy and sort of Spanish-y or Italian-y when you move the capital to the middle of the word."

"Just because you can't see her right now doesn't mean she's not always here," Del pointed out, "She's always everywhere all at once." Because: Death.

"There's a new one. Um. Brother. Sort of? He's not really new but he is really new but he's the same only he's not? And mad is me, not any of my brothers. Or my sisters. Not even Desire when Desire wants boy or girl or none of the above pronouns." Beat. "Dream's hair and coat is all white now instead of all black." That made perfect sense, right? "And Fiddler's Green wanted to stay gone and not be put back right and he's really sad about that but he respected Fiddler's Green's wish to stay with our sister. She'll take good care of him. She always does."

Beat.

Delirium beamed, "I picked it!"

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Working the Long Con, Friday, Second Period

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