fandomhigh | Practical Diplomacy, Friday, January 25, 2019

Practical Diplomacy, Friday, January 25, 2019

"In the course of your job as a diplomat, your boss, country, organization, or planet your representing will absolutely do or say something mind-bogglingly stupid," Anakin said, "and someone will ask for your opinion on it."

He glanced around the room. "And you are not allowed to say 'well, that was mind-bogglingly stupid.'" He smiled. It wasn't a very nice smile. "Your job today is to come up with what you would say if, for instance, you arrive at a meeting to discover that the leader of your organization/planet, or whatever, has been caught kicking puppies for fun, was President of a secret puppy-kicking society, and there is holo footage of it."

Well, Lana might not care because Sith, but that should give the rest of the class something to chew on.

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Like your boss is an idiot.

Even when you really want to give your honest opinion.

Who really, really thought that the rumors about Palpatine being an evil genius were jealousy until, well. They were true.

Definitely not based on the news today, why do you ask.

Prince Sidon

Lana Beniko

Kicking puppies was not a Sith thing, Anakin, it was a dumb thing!

Still, "We're assuming the general populace will see this as a problem, and that the puppies in question can't be passed off as aggressive?"

It never hurt to check.

Sidon was ruminating over this one very carefully, a deep frown on his face as he considered the information they were given...and perhaps some of the details that were not.

"Is this reprehensible puppy-kicking activity something that is likely to come up in the context of our meeting?" he ventured. "I rather think I would avoid mentioning it if I could, unless it has a direct correlation to the meeting itself."

Breq

Breq had seen people in power do a lot worse things than kicking puppies, but she had never been asked to have an opinion about it.

"It was perhaps unwise," Breq said. "But the puppies weren't actually harmed. They are used to being kicked, it's been a tradition on our planet for a long time."

She would actually have said that the leader was an idiot.

"They cannot be passed off as aggressive, though that would be an interesting approach," Anakin said begrudgingly.

"They bring it up before you can start on what you are really meeting about," Anakin said, "Puppy kicking is considered deeply shocking for your counterparts."

"That could work," Anakin said. "Calling something a cultural tradition gives you a lot of leeway."

Lana nodded. She thought about it.

"In that case, my superior only ever has the best interests of their people at heart, and I am certain there is an excellent explanation for this. I will endeavour to discover what that is, and inform you."

Edited 2019-01-26 00:43 (UTC)

"Hmmmm." Sidon frowned deeply as he thought about it a little more, but the few pieces were, hopefully, leading him to a workable conclusion.

"Well," he said after a moment longer, "surely I would be able to deflect the matter. Explain that, while the topic is certainly an important one worthy of consideration and comment, it would serve us best to focus on the topic at hand that brought us all there that day, with the opportunity to open the discussion again, perhaps when the timing is a bit more..." And here he offered up one of his more disarming smiles, "appropriate."

Edited 2019-01-25 22:23 (UTC)

Vette

"I don't suppose Governor Kickington has had a chance to speak about the topic yet?" Vette had to check. "These situations are way easier to navigate before idiots go ahead and flap their traps about them. Gives less stupid persons a chance to come up with a good spin."

"You are about a half hour away from whatever press conference will happen to make your life much more difficult," Anakin said. "Lie away."

"Will you actually inform them?" Anakin asked.

Anakin chuckled. "Not bad. And if that didn't work?"

Vette nodded solemnly.

"Shame about those rabid puppies. What the holo didn't catch was the froth at their mouths, poor things. Fortunately, he very heroically stepped in to intercept them before they could warm the person taking the holo at the time."

And then under her breath, "This guy is awful."

"Completely awful," Anakin agreed, "but you'll have something at least this awful happen at some point. Better to be prepared."

This would come in handy someday when she was wandering the galaxy with a Sith Lord, raising hell and plotting the demise of a twisted member of the Dark Council. Truly!

"I mean, considering where I'm from, I guess I could just point out that it's Nar Shaddaa and remind folks of the expectations put in place there by the Hutts. Bring the Hutts into things and you can generally explain away a lot of twisted cruelty all for the sake of not starting a war with the Cartel."

Edited 2019-01-26 02:51 (UTC)

"There probably really are puppy kicking clubs on Nar Shaddaa," Anakin said.

"That depends," Lana said. "I'd much rather corner my superior in private and tear them a new one," possibly literally, "then find out why. A lot would depend on that. If I can't do that, I'll probably just tell them my superior is above reproach. Then get a new job before someone takes them out."

Sith politics.

"And what if it wasn't your direct superior?" Anakin asked. "How high would you go to pursue direct confrontation?"

"Well, the higher up you go, the more careful you have to be," Lana said, "so it would depend how much it meant to me. Honestly, in this case it'd probably be easier just to find some puppy sympathizers and point them in the right direction."

"Yes," Breq said. "Provided other people's cultures are respected."

That wasn't always the case, after all.

"Founded by Hutts to preside over and watch, so that they can kick puppies vicariously through their club members," Vette agreed. "I could absolutely spin it as a public service. Kicking puppies for the sake of pacifying the Hutt Cartel, so that they don't kill us all."

"Not worth spending your own political capital," Anakin agreed. "What would be a compelling reason for you to confront, say, your boss's boss's boss?"

"And if that didn't work, what would be your back-up reply?" Anakin asked.

Anakin grinned. "It just might work, too."

Stupid Hutts.

Vette nodded solemnly.

"It's an unsavory business, but somebody has to do it, for the greater good."

"Something subtly insulting," Breq said. "Referring to their family and birthplace and their inability to grasp the unimportance of this matter. It might be bad short term, and I'd have to back it up with impeccable but condescending manners, but it might work, depending on the situation."

At the moment, that was the Emperor, so...

"Death?" Lana suggested. "If I had nothing to lose, I would. Otherwise it would depend. I'm not really up to challenging him, thanks."

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Practical Diplomacy, Friday, January 25, 2019

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