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fandomhigh2018-03-19 09:57 am
stickitupmyjinx) wrote in fandomhigh2018-03-19 09:57 am
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Cooking for the Disinterested, Monday
"Peanut butter and jelly!" Vanessa said cheerfully. "Sound simple, right? That's because it is! God, I hope none of you are allergic to peanuts." Probably should have checked that first.
Eh, that seemed like a lot of effort.
"Or almond butter. That's a thing now," Deadpool said, frowning at a jar of it. "What fresh hipster shit is it?"
"That's nothing, there was one at the store made out of soy," Vanessa said, and then reassured the class, "Don't worry! I wouldn't make you eat it! But I did get the sunflower seed one because what the hell, why not? And like, twelve kinds of jelly. Jam. Whatever."
"Jam has seeds," Deadpool added helpfully. He totally got that tip from TV, so don't be too proud of him just yet folks. "There are important things to consider. Crust or no crust? How do you cut it? Should you shove a banana in there in a vain attempt at health despite your crippling poverty?"
"White bread or whole wheat, because, again, you're trying to pretend to be healthy?" Vanessa asked. "Or are you using some kind of fancy bread, like sourdough or one with seeds in it? Does it count if you use Nutella? Ooh. Nutella."
Deadpool shoved one of the Nutella jars into her purse because he got you, boo. He got you. "Get moving. We don't have all day."
"And be sure to explain why your choices are correct and your classmates' choices are wrong and bad and they should feel bad," Vanessa said quickly. "That's the best part."
Eh, that seemed like a lot of effort.
"Or almond butter. That's a thing now," Deadpool said, frowning at a jar of it. "What fresh hipster shit is it?"
"That's nothing, there was one at the store made out of soy," Vanessa said, and then reassured the class, "Don't worry! I wouldn't make you eat it! But I did get the sunflower seed one because what the hell, why not? And like, twelve kinds of jelly. Jam. Whatever."
"Jam has seeds," Deadpool added helpfully. He totally got that tip from TV, so don't be too proud of him just yet folks. "There are important things to consider. Crust or no crust? How do you cut it? Should you shove a banana in there in a vain attempt at health despite your crippling poverty?"
"White bread or whole wheat, because, again, you're trying to pretend to be healthy?" Vanessa asked. "Or are you using some kind of fancy bread, like sourdough or one with seeds in it? Does it count if you use Nutella? Ooh. Nutella."
Deadpool shoved one of the Nutella jars into her purse because he got you, boo. He got you. "Get moving. We don't have all day."
"And be sure to explain why your choices are correct and your classmates' choices are wrong and bad and they should feel bad," Vanessa said quickly. "That's the best part."
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