fandomhigh | Sciencing Things Sciencily: Sciencing Harder, Monday

"Today I thought we'd talk about where fish come from," began Philomena. "Which is space."

Someone had perhaps taken away something different from the entire shark episode than everyone else had.

"No one quite knows how space makes fish, but there's got to be loads of 'em, 'cos there's supposed to be infinite space. Down here on Earth is actually an abberation from the regular way things are, 'cos there's no space here, except for in the oceans, where the fish go."

She began to gesture as she paced around the class, the chicken following in her footsteps. "You could say we are surrounded by fish," she said, "All floating in space, watchin' us. Making fish nookie in Uranus and havin' a merry old time mucking about Saturn. Most people don't know this, but the first Space Shuttle was actually invented 'cos they wanted to go fishing."

Beat.

"One of 'em exploded," she said. "As we've all found, you don't want to mess with an angry fish." She let that sink in for a moment. "Now I want you all to think about space fish a lot for your final. How do fish swim in space? What do they drink? How hard is it for a dolphin to have sex in space when it keeps floating about? You have fifteen minutes to research, and then you have to write your paper."

A pause.

"Start now with the sciencing."