fandomhigh | Understanding American Holidays, Monday

"Today," Steve said, still smelling like shark despite his many, MANY efforts to change that, "we're going to talk about New Year's Eve."

Everyone smelled a little like shark. It was a terrible take on Shark Week.

"It is exactly what the name implies, the night just before the beginning of the new year," Tony said, looking more tired than normal for the obvious shark related reasons. "There are a lot of traditions associated with it, but the most common one involves a party that leads up to the countdown to 12:00 AM."

"In my completely biased opinion, the best place on this planet to celebrate the shifting of the year is New York City," Steve said. "But don't go downtown to watch the ball drop. You'll freeze your--" he coughed politely, "rear end right off."

"Plus it's all tourists," said the other New Yorker who would never disagree with that assessment. "Usually you make resolutions for the coming year, lose weight, find a better job, do yoga... whatever. They are almost never followed. Which is also a tradition."

Steve laughed. "My protein shake resolution lasted a while," he said, "but not forever. Since this weekend was ridiculous, today we're going to have you make resolutions that you have no intention of actually keeping and then we'll watch video of the last few ball drops."

Tony, explain what the ball drop is before the kids start suing for potential sexual harassment based on having no context at all.

Well Tony wasn't even considering that as something people could mix up. Tony was probably putting too much faith into humanity, though.

"If you're from here, please don't kiss your classmates without express permission when the ball drops," Tony said instead. Because he went with other sexual harassment possibilities. "You'll be seeing a lot of people in these videos doing that and I'm sure a few got punched for it."

Steve nodded seriously, his expression the same one he used the his high school PSAs Fury had made him record. "Especially on a night like New Year's Eve when people might be drinking. Enthusiastic consent or no dice, kids."

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Ignoring the shark smell

It's fun!

All that confetti. All those balloons. God help their cleaning staff.

Maybe about how great New York is.

I need coffee or I may murder someone.

Gratuity Tucci

Summer Smith

Since these guys clearly didn't take resolutions seriously, Summer wasn't about to curse something she'd actually want to accomplish by saying it. So she thought a ltitle before she came up with something.

"My fake resolution," she declared, "is to, I don't know, not eat so much chocolate."

Ooh, ooh, if they err doing a ball drop, then Summer might be trying to catch the eye of a particular fake French classmate. She'd be more than happy to help teach him a little more aboUT her favorite New Year's tradition.

Or, heck, really, she wouldn't miND getting someone else's either. They had a damn attractive class, she realized.