fandomhigh | American History: Lies Your Other Teachers Told You [Friday, August 29, 2014, 2nd period]

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American History: Lies Your Other Teachers Told You [Friday, August 29, 2014, 2nd period]

"Hey, everyone," Josh said with welcoming smile from the front of the classroom as his students filtered in. "I'm Josh Lyman. I used to be the chief of staff for President Matt Santos--if you haven't heard of him, don't feel too bad--" which meant that Josh wanted you to feel a little bad because he used to be someone important, okay, "--and now I'm here to use my considerable knowledge about America and US history to teach you about some of the parts of our past most text books tend to skate past because they aren't pretty."

Josh shrugged. "I was a professional political operative for twenty years. I'm not used to pretty. Anyway, let me learn a little bit about you first. I need to know if I'm dealing with Kennedy assassination conspiracy theorists, 'what the hell's America' people, or something in between."

He pointed to the first student that caught his attention. "You. Sparky. Go first. Oh, and I need a TA to bring me coffee and other really important stuff, so if you want to help with that, hit me up after class."

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Patriotically!

"Let me get your name, your favorite president--American, if possible--and your favorite useless piece of historical knowledge."

Especially if you want the super-important coffee delivery job.

The little one is doing her best limpet impression today so we'll see how good I am at typing one-handed.

Flick

"Flick. And favorite president?" He didn't really think he had a favorite so he was just going to pick a name at random. "Kennedy's my favorite. That guy just oozed cool."

That was actually truthful in Flick's opinion. "Favorite piece of useless history? The fact that John Wilkes Booth's brother saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son. Pretty weird tidbit all things considered."

Isaac Lahey

Josh nodded. "I like that one too. I also love how Kennedy and Lincoln both had veeps named Johnson, and that Lincoln's secretary's last name was Kennedy, and Kennedy's was named Lincoln. History is both entertaining and weirdly creepy."

Celia Bowen

"Celia Bowen, and I think my favorite president is is Grant," she said, wincing a little at her own indecision. "But that might just be the bias of having grown up with him in office. My favorite bit of historical knowledge, though, is that the tune of our apparent national anthem is from an English drinking song. No offense to Mr. Key or his 'Defence of Fort McHenry,' of course, but it does take something out of it."

"Not a lot of Grant fans, normally," Josh said. "He was a great general but not really the most...adept...politician. He did write a highly regarded autobiography which is way less self-serving than General McClellan's, who was pretty much the whiniest whiner who ever whined."

Beat.

"Grant was president while you were growing up?"

"Born in 1868," Celia said, tossing off a sheepish little wave. "Grant was president until I was about nine, I think, then Hayes, and Garfield -- I was in Europe when the assassination happened, though -- and now Arthur." She smiled. "It's 1884 back home for me, so I've been sitting on my hands not to see who's going to win the election."

Edited 2014-08-29 14:56 (UTC)

"You are in the middle of some...deeply unimpressive presidents," Josh said, eyes wide. "Sorry."

"The next one's boring, too?" Celia asked, dismayed. "Darn it. I mean, I get Mr. Obama here until I graduate, at least, and I really like him, but I wanted something to look forward to when I go back."

Raven Darkholme

Cosette Fauchelevent

"I'm Raven Darkholme. After learning a little more about presidents since the last time you asked, I'm going to say Teddy Roosevelt. He got shot and stood up to finish his speech anyway before he let anyone treat him. You've got to admire that kind of determination." She didn't know about useless, but she figured that could count for her piece of historical knowledge, too.

"Cosette Fauchelevent, and I'm afraid I don't have a favorite president." Because what would she know, with monarchs and emperors, and it wasn't as if she'd paid any attention to politics at home anyway. The nuns hadn't cared. "But historical knowledge . . . well . . ."

She bit her lip. "One of the girls at my old school told me that the Emperor was once attacked by a horde of rabbits -- I can't be sure if she was making it up or not, but I hope she wasn't."

Because hi, funny.

Gwen Stacy

They really did introductions in every class. Huh.

"I'm Gwen Stacy, and I don't know, I guess my favorite president is Lincoln?" He freed the slaves and all, it was a pretty safe answer. "I don't really have useless historical knowledge."

"In a few years you get one that's totally kickass," Josh promised. "Just...not really Cleveland."

Josh grinned. "Plus the teddy bears."

"We had a president say the same thing, only he was on a boat at the time and everyone made fun of him because they didn't think rabbits could swim," Josh shared.

"By the end of this class you will," Josh said. "It's a huge guy-magnet in college bars."

This was not even close to true.

Jalian d'Arsennette y ken Selvren

"Jalian d'Arsennette y ken Selvren," Jalian answered. Apparently her luck had run out and she was stuck with a male for a teacher, after all. Well, some of the males here were very useful, so she would reserve her judgement.

"I know only the president who was in charge in the time of the Fire; I think he was stupid." Something about having pressed the button on Armageddon. As for useless information...she shrugged. "The Huntress who developed Shotak was left-handed?" That was relatively useless!

"Exactly," Raven agreed. "You have a president known for being badass, and he inspires cuddly children's toys."

"Shotak?" Josh said, grabbing onto the weirdest of the words she'd used.

Right, they didn't have that one here. "One of our martial arts. You can tell she was by the way the movements flow."

Edited 2014-08-29 21:59 (UTC)

Johnny Storm

"I'm Johnny Storm and I'm kind of partial to Kennedy. The man did good work," Johnny said. He was talking about Marilyn Monroe. And let's face it, you knew he was talking about Marilyn Monroe.

"And I have a lot of respect for both him and his brother hooking up with Marilyn Monroe." Just in case you didn't know.

Kathy Li

"I'm Kathy Li and my favorite...I'd have to say Obama. Not because of him, exactly? More because of what his election meant to the country. I mean, apart from not leaving us with McCaine and Romney."

Even her dad had been against those guys and he was as far from social justice as you could get!

"My favorite piece of useless knowledge is that there have been more than one historical incident known as the Defenestration of Prague." Sorry, the name just amused the heck out of her! "My favorite bit of American historical trivia is that the Emancipation Proclamation didn't actually free anybody. It only targeted the slaves in the states actively in rebellion against the Union and none of them were inclined to listen to what the President had to say."

Josh burst out laughing. "It was their patriotic duty, really, aside from the whole infidelity problem."

"That's right," Josh said. "Hard as it is to picture now, Maryland was a slave state and if Lincoln had freed them, Maryland would have seceded as well and DC would have been surrounded, and that's the ball game. Lincoln wasn't this paragon of virtue and amazing beard maintenance you learn about in elementary school. He was one hell of a savvy politician."

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American History: Lies Your Other Teachers Told You [Friday, August 29, 2014, 2nd period]

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Talk to Josh

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