fandomhigh | The Seven Habits of Something Something Rawwwwwwwwwwr!!!! [Friday]

"Think win-win." Cheryl looked out over the class, arms crossed. "Well, guess what, you all apparently thought lose-lose because seriously, we literally told you not to come back this week, and gave you a pass not to. What the actual, flaming fuck is wrong with all of you?"

She threw her hands up with a despairing yell, clearly aggravated. Possibly because someone had tampered with her mood stabilizers, and now they didn't...exactly do what they were supposed to.

Whoops.

“You are all officially the slow class,” Pam said. “How do you fuck up something like not showing up? You’re all high school students, in summer school, which is highly illegal and not very nice at all. And it has to be obvious to you by now that we don’t give a shit, so why should you?!”

Guess whose pot tasted like weird, gross chemicals? Go on, guess.

Nothing made Pam crankier than ruined pot.

“So we’re gonna think win-win, which means everyone gets a Participation trophy because why bother even having competitions if one of the fucking special snowflakes might get his feelings hurt,” Pam huffed. “It’s a bunch of Montessori let’s-all-hold-hands touchy-feely garbage. Life isn't win-win. Life is I win, you starve to death behind a dumpster and I steal anything good left on your body.”

Ruined. Pot.

Cheryl, meanwhile, was clearly tottering towards the edge of some kind of actual breakdown, as she contributed, "Perfect fucking attendance isn't a motherfucking award! The word 'award'? Means that you are awarded something for fucking doing something. Putting your ass in the same seat every day for a year doesn't mean you should get an award, it means you should get a life."

With a noise that was somewhere between a sob and a growl, Cheryl added, "None of you is getting a perfect attendance award. None of you. Not even if you come every single day. Not even if you come all summer."

She took a deep breath, shaking her hair out (it was coming out of her bun, now), and turned to Pam, seemingly calmer. "Where's your lighter?"

RED ALERT, GUYS, RED ALERT.

“No lighters!” Pam shouted, slamming a hand on the desk. "We’re not getting fired from this shitty teaching gig, too! Stop fucking burning things down already! All my nice clothes smell like the goo that comes out of fire extinguishers and I RAWWWWWWWWWWWWRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hey, guys? There was now a velociraptor with a blonde bun standing in front of the class. So … that was happening.

"I feel better," said the velociraptor with the auburn bun in response, holding her arms out in front of her thoughtfully. "And here I thought I was going to have to self-medicate all night with the three V's again!"

(That's vicodin, valium and vodka, for those of you playing at home.)

Unfortunately, what came out when Cheryl the velociraptor spoke was much more along the lines of, "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHGGGHHHHHRRRHHHH!"

So, you know, that was a thing.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

WITH A ROAR!

I mean, that's pretty new.

Right, there was apparently going to be a class activity, for this class. Something to do with the win-win scenario they were bitching about before everything went to hell.

Unfortunately for you, they didn’t explain it, and they’re not exactly speaking English right now.

So please have fun trying to figure out what the hell to do with six apricots, a jigsaw puzzle of a field of tulips, eighteen thumbtacks, a broken half of a pinata, two Hot Wheels cars, a goldfish bowl, and a ripped bag of flour.

They won’t actually eat you. They are probably safer, as velociraptors, than they were as humans. This is saying a lot.

Special thanks to

notaweenie the amazing who drugged our duo and even made the spiffy photoshops linked to above! PS: the answer to “would you like someone to fuck with Pam and Cheryl” is always, always YES.

Elsa of Arendelle

"Wait, what?"

Did the teachers just turn into dinosaurs? Was that a thing that just happened?

Elsa was going to just sit there and stare with wide eyes for a moment.

And then quietly start gathering her things, because she was going to nope right out of this class period, today. Nope.

Kathy Li

"What the fuck?"

Kathy didn't swear much. Kathy didn't swear often. Looking at their teachers, however, made it seem like a very appropriate time for one of her rare swears.

"Are you leaving?" Kathy asked.

"The teachers just turned into dinosaurs," Elsa informed Kathy, a step shy of primly. Because prim was preferable to freaking out, here. "They have sharp teeth and huge claws, and I can't see how sticking around here would be, in any definition of the word, a good idea."

Anyway, she had a date to get ready for tonight. Maybe? It was probably a date.

"No, no, I'm not judging," Kathy said, shoving her stuff into her backpack and swinging it over her shoulder. "Are you crazy? I'm coming with!"

Oh, good. Elsa gave Kathy a grateful smile. If she was making a break for the door, it certainly felt better to not be doing so alone.

"I've had my fill of dinosaurs on this island already," she clarified. "And the ones that were here in the spring had the added bonus of not being Pam and Cheryl."

Elsa figured she could deal with a real dinosaur, but these two?

Nope.

"All I know is they'd better not stay this way," Kathy declared. "I mean, I liked it a lot better when I didn't have nightmares about reenacting Triassic Park with Cheryl."

Elsa's eyes widened a little.

"I didn't even think about the possibility that it could be permanent. I turned into a small bear for a couple of weeks, but I turned back afterwards!"

Well, now she was horrified.

"Do you want them to remain dinosaurs for even a few weeks?!" Kathy asked.

"It seems like a step up on indefinitely!"

Wasn't it?

"I'm pretty sure there is no upside to this mess," Kathy sighed, making a mental note to yell at Barry as soon as she could corner him in the warehouse.

Barry Ween

Barry sat in the back of class and as soon as the transformation took place, he took off.

Trying not to laugh.

Joker Moreau

Joker stared. They just...

Well, sure, people turning into animals around here wasn't exactly new, but he hadn't expected to see it happen in front of him. That was just weird. Like a... whole-body sneeze, or something.

...And then he thought to look at Barry. He hadn't, right? Right?

Joker started after him. "Hey! HEY! You come back here! Don't run away while I'm yelling at you! ...Curse my metal crutches, I'm not fast enough!"

There were dinosaurs in the class. Who might or might not remember that they were actually Pam and Cheryl. They needed a distraction!

Joker had NO idea what the activity might have been supposed to be, but a sprinkling of flour inside the broken piñata, plus Pam's lighter, which he was able to snag with a crutch from where it had fallen on the floor, equaled a small contained dust explosion!

Which was much larger and closer to his face than he'd imagined it being in his cunning plan. "Quick, while they're distracted!" he shouted. At least, he thought he did. It was hard for him to hear it, over the ringing in his ears. "Everybody run!"

He gathered up the apricots, so he could throw them as a secondary distraction, but then just stood there like an idiot, saying "MOP!" over and over to try to equalize the pressure in his ears and stop the ringing and the spinning.

Alex Aaron

Alex wanted to fight the dino teachers, but everyone else was leaving, so it might look kind of weird for hm not to, too. Alas. He quietly and calmly gathered his things and headed for the door.

The Seven Habits of Something Something Rawwwwwwwwwwr!!!! [Friday]

Sign in [07/25]

During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Class...Activity!?? [07/25]

Talk to the...Dinos [07/25]

OOC [07/25]

Re: Sign in [07/25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: Sign in [07/25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: Sign in [07/25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: Sign in [07/25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]

Re: Class...Activity!?? [07/25]

Re: Sign in [07/25]

Re: During the … Bit Where They Were Extra-Crazy, Then Became Dinosaurs [7-25]