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fandomhigh2014-07-11 12:34 pm
holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2014-07-11 12:34 pm
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Seven Habits of People Dumb Enough to Take This Class, Friday
Class was meeting again on the beach today. It wasn’t the fourth, no, but it was hot, and Pam and Cheryl didn’t feel like getting dressed up. Please enjoy your teachers and their bathing suits, everyone.
“We picked such a stupid book,” Pam whined. “I mean, that’s why we picked it, ‘cause it was stupid, but now we’ve gotta teach this stupid freaking class. Why are all of you here, anyway? Who in their right mind signs up for a class about the habits of effective people? That’s just … dumb.”
She had nearly said ‘retarded’ but she was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to say ‘retarded’ unless you were talking about people who were retarded, and even then it was iffy.
"It was your idea," Cheryl pointed out, slipping her sunglasses down her nose to look critically at Pam. "Oh Bird Legs, we can't just teach them about how to correctly buy crack from a street dealer. Remember that?" She looked out at the class, accusingly. "I was willing to share my Groovy Bears recipe and you have Pam to blame for why you aren't all tripping right now."
It was, very possibly, completely for the best that Cheryl had gotten overruled on that one.
"Whatever. This week is 'Begin with the end in mind.' Which is stupid."
“It’s fucking r-- … ridiculous,” Pam managed. “How much work are you going to get done if you have to keep thinking about your butt? I find the less I think about my butt, the better.”
Pam that was not what ‘end’ they were talking about. Like at all.
"That's why you keep sitting in stuff," Cheryl offered helpfully. "And I don't think that that's what they meant, but I don't actually care enough to argue. So. You guys are going to run an obstacle course!"
Please, behold, behind them on the beach, where Pam and Cheryl had set up tires to run through, a limbo bar, a climbing wall, and finishing with an enormous jug of water for each student, that they'd have to drink.
Because that was what happened when Cheryl and Pam had to design an obstacle course: those water jugs had started out as tequila and had eventually been talked down to just water.
It was some small miracle that nothing in this course could actually kill someone, although some students might have a more difficult time than others. (Looking at you here, Jokerassuming he’s there)
“But you have to think about your butt the whole time,” Pam said. “Not the real one ‘cause that gets creepy and then we’d get like arrested? But a fake one.”
She held up a really ugly foam fake butt for everyone to see.
“Put one over your real butt and hold it there while you do the obstacle course!” Pam said brightly. “So you can keep your end in mind the whole time!”
Pam, exactly how were they going to climb a rock wall while holding on to a fake butt?
“We picked such a stupid book,” Pam whined. “I mean, that’s why we picked it, ‘cause it was stupid, but now we’ve gotta teach this stupid freaking class. Why are all of you here, anyway? Who in their right mind signs up for a class about the habits of effective people? That’s just … dumb.”
She had nearly said ‘retarded’ but she was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to say ‘retarded’ unless you were talking about people who were retarded, and even then it was iffy.
"It was your idea," Cheryl pointed out, slipping her sunglasses down her nose to look critically at Pam. "Oh Bird Legs, we can't just teach them about how to correctly buy crack from a street dealer. Remember that?" She looked out at the class, accusingly. "I was willing to share my Groovy Bears recipe and you have Pam to blame for why you aren't all tripping right now."
It was, very possibly, completely for the best that Cheryl had gotten overruled on that one.
"Whatever. This week is 'Begin with the end in mind.' Which is stupid."
“It’s fucking r-- … ridiculous,” Pam managed. “How much work are you going to get done if you have to keep thinking about your butt? I find the less I think about my butt, the better.”
Pam that was not what ‘end’ they were talking about. Like at all.
"That's why you keep sitting in stuff," Cheryl offered helpfully. "And I don't think that that's what they meant, but I don't actually care enough to argue. So. You guys are going to run an obstacle course!"
Please, behold, behind them on the beach, where Pam and Cheryl had set up tires to run through, a limbo bar, a climbing wall, and finishing with an enormous jug of water for each student, that they'd have to drink.
Because that was what happened when Cheryl and Pam had to design an obstacle course: those water jugs had started out as tequila and had eventually been talked down to just water.
It was some small miracle that nothing in this course could actually kill someone, although some students might have a more difficult time than others. (Looking at you here, Joker
“But you have to think about your butt the whole time,” Pam said. “Not the real one ‘cause that gets creepy and then we’d get like arrested? But a fake one.”
She held up a really ugly foam fake butt for everyone to see.
“Put one over your real butt and hold it there while you do the obstacle course!” Pam said brightly. “So you can keep your end in mind the whole time!”
Pam, exactly how were they going to climb a rock wall while holding on to a fake butt?