Science You Cannot Possibly Comprehend, Monday, Period 5

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

"If you were aware that your teacher last week was a Doombot, then I congratulate you," Doom said. "It takes an admirable amount of confidence in yourself to lie to Doom, after all. When I realized what affects the damnable pollen would have last week, I knew attempting to teach a group of hormonal teenagers anything would be more of a lost cause than usual."

"And so I introduced you to this week's topic, advanced artificial intelligences. In my world, a man named Doctor Henry Pym is commonly credited as the father of artificial intelligences based on his creation of Ultron, a crazed automaton alternately obsessed with his creator's psychological issues and committing genocide against the human race. Ultron then used its own great mechanical intelligence to create a son called the Vision, who became a superhero, and a daughter named Jocasta who he obsessed over marrying and who also became a superhero."

"In short, though he is considered an expert in the field, Pym was a failure who begat an even grander failure," Doom said.

"Years before Ultron was even a dream destined for failure, I invented the Doombot," Doom explained. "These artificial intelligences obey my commands without question. Their will is mine. In my absence, I command them to act as though they are Doom. The deception is nearly perfect. It must be noted, of course, that even an omnipotent God cannot create a boulder he himself cannot lift. So if a Doombot falls just short of the majesty of Doom, it's merely because there are limits."

And then it was time for the detailed part of the lecture. If Doom seemed to be going a little more slowly this time and making sure that he hit specific points, it's because he actually intended for you to accomplish a task from scratch for once.

His description of how to build a robot body was brief, as was only right in a world where children could build crude battle robots for competition. The bulk of the lecture was speciffically on the artificial intelligence and how to program it based on someone's brainwaves.

Finally, once he was done explaining, he touched his gauntlet, opening a secret door in the lab floor, from which several robot bodies rose.

"You will be break into groups of up to three. Together, you will program your automaton to perform basic functions. Whether you choose to do it by imprinting the brainwaves of one of your group members onto the robot or via one of the more challenging options I described in my lecture, is your decision to make. I have provided the tools for the most common advanced methods, including neural transmitters that will digitize the most basic parts of a personality. I have confidence that you could effectively program these robots by the end of class, if you work hard enough. However, you can use the lab outside of class hours to refine your work and possibly customize your robot throughout the week. The Doombot will be here at all times, ensuring that you stay on task and do not attempt to remove any technology from the lab."

"The lab will be closed Friday night, before you go on your fall trip. Your projects will reside in this lab for the week of the trip. By our next class, two weeks from today, they must accomplish a brief list of simple tasks. If the robots critically malfunction or attempt any form of rebellion that would lead to the Doombot needing to destroy it, you will fail this project. Video will be provided in the event that anything happens to the robot."

"Begin."

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[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

Robotically.

Listen to the Lecture

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

I'm sure at least one person won't appreciate the Hank Pym smack talk, but it's all factually true.

Team Up and Work

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

If you work by yourself, you will need luck. You should probably just imprint your brainwaves onto the robot unless you really know what you're doing. If you team up, you should have more options available in the next half hour. Feel free to use the science lab for posts during the week or simply handwave that you did, as the Doombot will be watching the entire time.

All robots are wirelessly hooked up to computer consoles around the room. Each console gives the option to either hand-program the robots, or you can use the metal headband to read someone's brainwaves and program the robot with basic personality that way.

The tasks the robots will need to accomplish are as follows:

*Saluting the Doombot in a non-profane way. Profane salutes will be considered a malfunction and the robot will be destroyed (on video).

*Lift a box and move it to the other side of the lab.

*Choose their own name.

*Do basic multiplication tables from 1 to 12.

*Shake hands with their fellow robots.

They will need to repeat these tasks throughout the week without malfunctioning.

Speak to Loki

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

Who cannot power the robot with consciousness through magic. They are not Destroyers.

Speak to Doom

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

Who does not have positive opinions of robot rights, for the record. He once paid Luke Cage to quell a robot rebellion, after all, and then stiffed Cage on the fee.

This was in the classic "Where's my money, honey?" story (http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2011/08/07/i-love-ya-but-youre-strange-wheres-my-money-honey/).

Just sayin'.

OOC

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

THE SHORT, OOC VERSION:

Play with it as much as you want. I encourage at least picking teams in this class, then handwave whatever. I'll establish Doom beginning on surveillance on the robots on Saturday, then the next class in two weeks will let you decide what happened to the robots, what tasks they accomplished, what names they chose, etc.

Also, seriously:
"When my men reported a crazy black man in the Fantastic Four's craft, I knew it had to be you!"
"Where's my money, honey?"

The 70s were weird, man.