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fandomhigh2013-07-19 03:19 pm
bluhblahbluh.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2013-07-19 03:19 pm
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Monsters and Humans. Lecture: Vampires. Friday, Period 4
Drac was already in the classroom when the students entered. As was a very excited black wolf pup with bright blue eyes. And fangs.
"Good even..." Drac rolled his eyes. " I mean, good afternoon. Welcome back to my class on Human and Monster relations."
He nodded to the wolf pup sniffing ANYONE who would let her until a whirl of purple mist lifted her into the air and brought her back to him. "This is Mavis, my daughter, for those who are curious. She is, ah, not herself."
By which he meant physically, since she was most definitely still herself in personality. Proved by her settling into the mist that was supporting her and grinning broadly at the class as if to say "hi humans!" all over again.
He sighed, adding a facepalm. "Puberty. Please let it be puberty," he muttered.
Drac shook himself and looked back up at the class. "This does, however lead me very well into my first real lecture of the class: Misconceptions about Vampires."
"I found a wealth of information on the subject of vampires... which is not spelled with a 'y' anymore, by the way." A wave of his hand and more purple mist lifted a pile of books on his desk, splaying them in mid-air. Some were actual scientific tomes on vampirism, some were romance books with embarrassing art on the covers. There was at least one role-playing manual, some self-published works, and, of course, the Dracula novel he'd been quoting to Mavis a few days ago. "And the different stories and paranoiac beliefs are unbelievable!"
Some of the books floated before the rest as Drac flipped his cape and set his hands behind his back. "Human folklore about vampires is very focused on fear and evil. Many myths have the Vampire as a sort of ghoul that eats humans or corpses of humans. One story tells of vampires rising from the dead (which would be a zombie, by the way) and transforming into a pig to attack and eat its living human relatives. Another talks about a vampire that attacks travelers and villagers until they can find a person to take their place."
He sighed and shook his head. The books settled back into place and another group moved forward. "Modern stories are even more bizarre. Some are merely books to satisfy ego and desire," he coughed delicately and some of the more luridly covered books sank back to the desk. "Some try to describe vampires as genetic variations on humans. Even more humourous are the ones that attempt to merge all of these and explain the 'real' vampire."
"There are several common stereotypes, however, regarding Vampires."
A lack of slides meant Drac had to point to the list he'd written on the whiteboard at the front of the room. (Yes, he'd figured out how to use the whiteboard. FEAR!)
A stake through the heart or decapitation or fire will kill a vampire
- "Honestly, now. Who wouldn't that kill?"
Vampires can transform into any animal
- "Bat. Unless you're a shapeshifter or a were-monster"
Vampires can’t cross running water
- "Without a boat or a bridge."
Vampires fear religious artifacts
- "Only when stabbed or hit by them."
Vampires have no soul
- "... Really, humans?"
Vampires have no reflection
- "Now that one is true!"
Vampires are killed by sunlight
- "Well, we catch on fire. Usually we figure out to move before this becomes the case."
Vampires drink blood
- "Blood substitutes. Blood today is so contaminated and fatty. You can't trust it. Even animal blood. Best to go with BloodBeaters, really."
Vampires are undead
- "What does that even mean? Undead? Doesn't that make you alive?"
Vampires can hypnotize you to completely forget things
- "Well, yes. to varying degrees. Mavis, for example, is still not very good at this."
Vampires tend to be very charismatic
- "Depends on the Vampire. I have a cousin who is a complete and utter bore."
Vampires need to be invited into a home in order to enter
- "Now really. That's basic manners and courtesy, not a vampire trait."
Drac rolled his eyes and looked back at the list, his eyes darkening as they fell on the last item.
"'Vampires feel no pain'... Ah. Don't I wish that was the case." A moment passed with him silent and very dark, but then his smiling mask fell back into place and he turned to fully face the class again. "The rest of the period, I am going to allow you to, as it were," he sat in his chair with his usual flair and waved a hand. All of the books still hovering above his desk returned to the pile but one. "Have an Interview with a Vampire. Feel free to ask me questions or bring up any vampire stories and traits you are aware of so we can discuss them."
[Sorry for the delay!]
"Good even..." Drac rolled his eyes. " I mean, good afternoon. Welcome back to my class on Human and Monster relations."
He nodded to the wolf pup sniffing ANYONE who would let her until a whirl of purple mist lifted her into the air and brought her back to him. "This is Mavis, my daughter, for those who are curious. She is, ah, not herself."
By which he meant physically, since she was most definitely still herself in personality. Proved by her settling into the mist that was supporting her and grinning broadly at the class as if to say "hi humans!" all over again.
He sighed, adding a facepalm. "Puberty. Please let it be puberty," he muttered.
Drac shook himself and looked back up at the class. "This does, however lead me very well into my first real lecture of the class: Misconceptions about Vampires."
"I found a wealth of information on the subject of vampires... which is not spelled with a 'y' anymore, by the way." A wave of his hand and more purple mist lifted a pile of books on his desk, splaying them in mid-air. Some were actual scientific tomes on vampirism, some were romance books with embarrassing art on the covers. There was at least one role-playing manual, some self-published works, and, of course, the Dracula novel he'd been quoting to Mavis a few days ago. "And the different stories and paranoiac beliefs are unbelievable!"
Some of the books floated before the rest as Drac flipped his cape and set his hands behind his back. "Human folklore about vampires is very focused on fear and evil. Many myths have the Vampire as a sort of ghoul that eats humans or corpses of humans. One story tells of vampires rising from the dead (which would be a zombie, by the way) and transforming into a pig to attack and eat its living human relatives. Another talks about a vampire that attacks travelers and villagers until they can find a person to take their place."
He sighed and shook his head. The books settled back into place and another group moved forward. "Modern stories are even more bizarre. Some are merely books to satisfy ego and desire," he coughed delicately and some of the more luridly covered books sank back to the desk. "Some try to describe vampires as genetic variations on humans. Even more humourous are the ones that attempt to merge all of these and explain the 'real' vampire."
"There are several common stereotypes, however, regarding Vampires."
A lack of slides meant Drac had to point to the list he'd written on the whiteboard at the front of the room. (Yes, he'd figured out how to use the whiteboard. FEAR!)
A stake through the heart or decapitation or fire will kill a vampire
- "Honestly, now. Who wouldn't that kill?"
Vampires can transform into any animal
- "Bat. Unless you're a shapeshifter or a were-monster"
Vampires can’t cross running water
- "Without a boat or a bridge."
Vampires fear religious artifacts
- "Only when stabbed or hit by them."
Vampires have no soul
- "... Really, humans?"
Vampires have no reflection
- "Now that one is true!"
Vampires are killed by sunlight
- "Well, we catch on fire. Usually we figure out to move before this becomes the case."
Vampires drink blood
- "Blood substitutes. Blood today is so contaminated and fatty. You can't trust it. Even animal blood. Best to go with BloodBeaters, really."
Vampires are undead
- "What does that even mean? Undead? Doesn't that make you alive?"
Vampires can hypnotize you to completely forget things
- "Well, yes. to varying degrees. Mavis, for example, is still not very good at this."
Vampires tend to be very charismatic
- "Depends on the Vampire. I have a cousin who is a complete and utter bore."
Vampires need to be invited into a home in order to enter
- "Now really. That's basic manners and courtesy, not a vampire trait."
Drac rolled his eyes and looked back at the list, his eyes darkening as they fell on the last item.
"'Vampires feel no pain'... Ah. Don't I wish that was the case." A moment passed with him silent and very dark, but then his smiling mask fell back into place and he turned to fully face the class again. "The rest of the period, I am going to allow you to, as it were," he sat in his chair with his usual flair and waved a hand. All of the books still hovering above his desk returned to the pile but one. "Have an Interview with a Vampire. Feel free to ask me questions or bring up any vampire stories and traits you are aware of so we can discuss them."
[Sorry for the delay!]
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Listen to the lecture
[anyone who can speak/understand Wolf? Mavis's 'talking' is basically unintelligible baby talk, so you won't get anything from her.]
INTERVIEW TIME!
Even those asked by Humans!
[Note: questions will be answered using extrapolated Hotel Transylvania 'logic' as well as snark and smarm! :)]
After class: Private chats with Drac?
Chat with one of the TAs?
OOC
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Well. Evan was pleased about it.
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Well. That explained a few things, at least.
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She was also not rocking her blue scales -- sorry, Drac -- but this weather always made her extra glad that she didn't actually have to wear clothes in public. Not that the lightweight sundress she was mimicking would have been all that warm, but she did get to skip the whole "my entire outfit is sticking to my sweat" situation.
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He gave Anna a soft smile. "She's fine, my dear. Simply a... a temporary and unexpected development."
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Extra super safe!
And... um... then some!
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Re: After class: Private chats with Drac?