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fandomhigh2006-02-14 07:04 am
bugofjustice.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2006-02-14 07:04 am
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Advanced Criminal Justice, Class 11, Period 1, 02.14.06
[OOC: Today's class is largely just for me to get used to trying to summarize a Police Squad! episode. The next few classes will be using episode plots as a "What would you do?" type of case study. But since work will be kicking my ass today, this is mostly just a lecture. If there is any discussion, Rory will be handling it. Otherwise, take notes, pass notes, the usual. Class Info Post.]
The Tick was at the front of the class as usual when the students walked in. Behind him, drawn on the white board, was a complicated flowchart detailing a crime. Lockheed was drinking coffee on his usual shelf.
"Hello, class! First, a reminder: Don't forget to give your essays to Rory on Thursday."
"Today we're going to start a series of classes on real cases from the files of an elite crimefighting force called Police Squad. The main officer in Police Squad is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant." The Tick checked his notes. "Yes, that is apparently his rank. It's definitely a unique unit, I suppose."
"In one of Police Squad's first notable cases, a suspicious bank robbery attempt took place. A man, Ralph Twice, walked in and apparently shot the teller, Jim Johnson. After Jim fell, a clerk by the name of Sally Decker then shot Twice once, killing him. Jim Johnson had filled in for the auditor, Jim Fell, who was out with the flu. But perhaps none of this would have happened if Phil Dinn, the night watchman, had been there." Tick looked at his notes again, double checking the names and and other words he had said. Yep, that's how it was all written in the files. He felt the need to add some sanity to the scene and said, "Of course, the robbery was during the day, so Mr. Dinn wouldn't have been there anyway. Now mind you, this bank didn't have surveillance for some reason, so the Police Squad couldn't just check the security tapes. This is why surveillance in banks is important."
"Miss Decker's story didn't stack up, though. The forensic evidence proved that Twice couldn't have shot Johnson . This - and a hunchback at the station - led Detective Drebin to declare Miss Decker herself to be a suspect. A tip led Sergeant Drebin to investigate Decker's business dealings. It turns out that she owed money for what was described as 'an oral debt.' She owed money to an orthodontist for significant dental work." The Tick checked his notes again. "Some people do Evil for strange, strange reasons, clearly."
"Lieutenant Drebin confronted her with this information, and after a short shoot-out, she was apprehended and sent to prison." The Tick checked his notes one final time. "Okay, class. Today's discussion question is, did any of that make any sense? Seriously, I've been trying to work through these files, and egads they're confusing!"
"For homework, the metaphor of the week is hats."
"And your extra credit this week is having love in your heart. Granted, that's hard to quantify in terms of giving a grade and I'm certainly not going to make anyone stand up and declare their love for anyone else, but still! It's Valentine's Day! It's a day to love your friends! Your neighbors! Your students in a strictly platonic way because anything else is creepy! And so my gift to you is free extra credit."
[OOC: For those not in the know, Police Squad! was the short-lived television series that eventually led to the Naked Gun movies. Terrible puns, insane sight gags, constant breaking of the fourth wall (Literally. Drebin often neglected doors and just walked around the stage wall to enter a different room), random wackiness, and some of the most convoluted crimes ever shown on television. Excellent, excellent series. We'll be dealing with cases from the show for a couple weeks, which should give me plenty of time to work on some new ideas for classes.]
The Tick was at the front of the class as usual when the students walked in. Behind him, drawn on the white board, was a complicated flowchart detailing a crime. Lockheed was drinking coffee on his usual shelf.
"Hello, class! First, a reminder: Don't forget to give your essays to Rory on Thursday."
"Today we're going to start a series of classes on real cases from the files of an elite crimefighting force called Police Squad. The main officer in Police Squad is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant." The Tick checked his notes. "Yes, that is apparently his rank. It's definitely a unique unit, I suppose."
"In one of Police Squad's first notable cases, a suspicious bank robbery attempt took place. A man, Ralph Twice, walked in and apparently shot the teller, Jim Johnson. After Jim fell, a clerk by the name of Sally Decker then shot Twice once, killing him. Jim Johnson had filled in for the auditor, Jim Fell, who was out with the flu. But perhaps none of this would have happened if Phil Dinn, the night watchman, had been there." Tick looked at his notes again, double checking the names and and other words he had said. Yep, that's how it was all written in the files. He felt the need to add some sanity to the scene and said, "Of course, the robbery was during the day, so Mr. Dinn wouldn't have been there anyway. Now mind you, this bank didn't have surveillance for some reason, so the Police Squad couldn't just check the security tapes. This is why surveillance in banks is important."
"Miss Decker's story didn't stack up, though. The forensic evidence proved that Twice couldn't have shot Johnson . This - and a hunchback at the station - led Detective Drebin to declare Miss Decker herself to be a suspect. A tip led Sergeant Drebin to investigate Decker's business dealings. It turns out that she owed money for what was described as 'an oral debt.' She owed money to an orthodontist for significant dental work." The Tick checked his notes again. "Some people do Evil for strange, strange reasons, clearly."
"Lieutenant Drebin confronted her with this information, and after a short shoot-out, she was apprehended and sent to prison." The Tick checked his notes one final time. "Okay, class. Today's discussion question is, did any of that make any sense? Seriously, I've been trying to work through these files, and egads they're confusing!"
"For homework, the metaphor of the week is hats."
"And your extra credit this week is having love in your heart. Granted, that's hard to quantify in terms of giving a grade and I'm certainly not going to make anyone stand up and declare their love for anyone else, but still! It's Valentine's Day! It's a day to love your friends! Your neighbors! Your students in a strictly platonic way because anything else is creepy! And so my gift to you is free extra credit."
[OOC: For those not in the know, Police Squad! was the short-lived television series that eventually led to the Naked Gun movies. Terrible puns, insane sight gags, constant breaking of the fourth wall (Literally. Drebin often neglected doors and just walked around the stage wall to enter a different room), random wackiness, and some of the most convoluted crimes ever shown on television. Excellent, excellent series. We'll be dealing with cases from the show for a couple weeks, which should give me plenty of time to work on some new ideas for classes.]
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