Romeo Montague (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
withoutverona) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2012-06-05 12:49 pm
withoutverona) wrote in fandomhigh2012-06-05 12:49 pm
Entry tags:
Is Love a Tender Thing?, Wednesday, 6/5
"Say you have been on a first date, and you so enjoyed each other's company you went for a second, and then a third," Romeo began, once the students were in their places. "What then? I speak not of physical intimacy, but of something even more difficult: baring your souls."
"Now, if I am spending that much time with someone, it is likely I want to be with them and only them." (For the next 15 minutes, anyhow.)
"But others" -- and here he was looking at Yurika -- "may not be so swift. and that leads to" -- and here he paused to infuse his coming words with a full sense of dread -- "the talk."
"HAI!" Dojima, do not look quite so gleeful. "Here's the thing, you might be head-over-heels for someone, but maybe they aren't quite there yet. Or come from a culture where polyamory is the norm, and the idea of one person is weird. Or there's seven sexes on their planet, not two. Whatever. The point is, you have to have The Talk eventually about how you both see this relationship, and there's ways to do that, and ways NOT to do it."
"For example," Romeo said, "assume nothing. If you assume wrongly, the other person might either pull back at how forward you're being, or wonder why you hold yourself so distant. It may be awkward, but it is always best to ask."
"Don't say you want them all to yourself if you want to date exclusively," Dojima advised. "If you've only known each other a few months? That's creepy. Guys, you have to work extra-hard here not to come off as stalker-esque or anything like that, because too many women have had problems - or have friends who have had problems - with men who don't like the word 'no.' It's not that we don't trust you specifically, but Earth-culture has a history of misogyny that you want to be aware of when courting a woman, or even another man. Don't be a bully."
A brief, sheepish look crossed Romeo's face; he wasn't sure he'd always followed that particular bit of advice. "Pick a time and place where you're both comfortable," he said. "Not when you're angry, or tired, or on your way to an unbreakable appointment. And, while confessions of love in the middle of the apocalypse have a grand history in fiction, they can be less welcome in real life. And then say what you want -- whatever it is, and leaving them plenty of time to answer."
"Passionately kissing the object of your affection during the apocalypse? Great! First confessions of love, and then the apocalypse fizzles? Awwwwwkward," she pointed out. "But be willing to talk about why someone feels the way they do, and don't be shocked if your would-be romantic partner needs time to think about everything. This is romance, wooing. Sometimes it takes time to find what you need."
"And sometimes he or she shows up unexpected," Romeo finished. "And now, please spend the rest of the hour writing down either why you want an exclusive relationship or why you do not. Neither is the wrong answer. If you finish writing, pair up and talk about it."
"Now, if I am spending that much time with someone, it is likely I want to be with them and only them." (For the next 15 minutes, anyhow.)
"But others" -- and here he was looking at Yurika -- "may not be so swift. and that leads to" -- and here he paused to infuse his coming words with a full sense of dread -- "the talk."
"HAI!" Dojima, do not look quite so gleeful. "Here's the thing, you might be head-over-heels for someone, but maybe they aren't quite there yet. Or come from a culture where polyamory is the norm, and the idea of one person is weird. Or there's seven sexes on their planet, not two. Whatever. The point is, you have to have The Talk eventually about how you both see this relationship, and there's ways to do that, and ways NOT to do it."
"For example," Romeo said, "assume nothing. If you assume wrongly, the other person might either pull back at how forward you're being, or wonder why you hold yourself so distant. It may be awkward, but it is always best to ask."
"Don't say you want them all to yourself if you want to date exclusively," Dojima advised. "If you've only known each other a few months? That's creepy. Guys, you have to work extra-hard here not to come off as stalker-esque or anything like that, because too many women have had problems - or have friends who have had problems - with men who don't like the word 'no.' It's not that we don't trust you specifically, but Earth-culture has a history of misogyny that you want to be aware of when courting a woman, or even another man. Don't be a bully."
A brief, sheepish look crossed Romeo's face; he wasn't sure he'd always followed that particular bit of advice. "Pick a time and place where you're both comfortable," he said. "Not when you're angry, or tired, or on your way to an unbreakable appointment. And, while confessions of love in the middle of the apocalypse have a grand history in fiction, they can be less welcome in real life. And then say what you want -- whatever it is, and leaving them plenty of time to answer."
"Passionately kissing the object of your affection during the apocalypse? Great! First confessions of love, and then the apocalypse fizzles? Awwwwwkward," she pointed out. "But be willing to talk about why someone feels the way they do, and don't be shocked if your would-be romantic partner needs time to think about everything. This is romance, wooing. Sometimes it takes time to find what you need."
"And sometimes he or she shows up unexpected," Romeo finished. "And now, please spend the rest of the hour writing down either why you want an exclusive relationship or why you do not. Neither is the wrong answer. If you finish writing, pair up and talk about it."
SIGN IN [6/05]
GENERAL CLASS STUFF [6/05]
ACTIVITY [6/05]
TALK TO THE TEACHERS + TA [6/05]
OOC [6/05]
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
So excuse him for sneaking glances at his neighbors to see what they were writing. He just wanted to make an educated decision, okay.
Re: TALK TO THE TEACHERS + TA [6/05]
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
Sure, it was a big bald-faced lie on several fronts, but it did what he needed it to do.
Re: OOC [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
"Is that all you had to say?" he prompted.
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
The mental image would have to substitute for the pleasure of the real thing. He exhaled and relaxed his arm.
"You have no idea what you're saying," he said. "But enjoy your childhood."
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
"Oh, I plan to," Atton said, kicking back in his seat. "A whole lot more than you did yours."
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
Even if said moron deserved it.
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
Just over a month ago, she'd been ready to leap feet-first into whatever future included her and Septimus. Now... She was a month from him, and the lifelong burning ache she'd expected (for how could she but ache for her Septimus) had dulled. It wasn't gone -- and she didn't think it would ever be gone completely (but then, she was young yet herself) -- but it wasn't the soul-searing heartache she'd romanticised.
I feel, she began, that I have far too much to learn about the world, the time in which I find myself, and perhaps most importantly about who I am to seek, actively, an exclusive relationship -- if, indeed, that is what I find myself wanting as I discover myself. As well, I have too recently been parted (perhaps permanently) from one who I
lovedlove with all my heart. This does not mean I would turn away should new love beckon; still, a snail's pace is perhaps called for as IShe paused as she tried to remember the idiom she'd just come across.
find my footing.
A little wordier than some, probably, but she'd been raised on Sophocles, Homer, and Aristophanes.
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
I don't know. I'm just a kid. It isn't like I'm in a relationship right now or like I ever have been so how am I supposed to say without knowing what it's really like if I want one person, or no people, or five? I'd probably be crap at monogamy anyhow.
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
Re: SIGN IN [6/05]
Re: ACTIVITY [6/05]
I fear that what I want will not change what I am allowed to have.
Re: TALK TO THE TEACHERS + TA [6/05]
belatedly, although she was thoughtful and not saying much.