fandomhigh | Advanced Criminal Justice, Class #3, Period 1, 01.17.06

[OOC: Busy at work this morning. ~~Replies won't be until lunch.~~ Most replies won't be until lunch. Class Info Post.]

The Tick stood in front of the class as usual, but there was something slightly different. It was probably the baseball cap sitting on the podium. Or perhaps it was the fact that Lockheed was very quiet. He seemed to be pondering something. In any event, this probably wasn't going to be a normal class.

"Hello, class! Today we will be continuing our analysis of Mr. Bugs Bunny's career in justice. Also, we'll be talking about sports!"

"As most of you probably know, security is taken very seriously at sporting events. If a spectator jumps onto the field of play, they are usually chased down, tackled, arrested, and fined. Despite this, many people hop onto the field every year, often in various states of undress."

"So how does this relate to Mr. Bunny? Well, he's one of the worst offenders of interrupting events history has ever seen. The following is a brief listing of events he has interrupted in the past:

"A baseball game: He made his way onto the field without even paying for a ticket. He then proceeded to play an unauthorized game against the opposing team."

"A boxing match: Again, he wasn't even in the stadium, and yet he ended up in the ring, participating in a match unauthorized by the boxing federation and the building's owner. This was reckless and dangerous, of course."

"A wrestling match: This event was so similar to the boxing match that it's barely worth mentioning."

"A bullfight: Mr. Bunny entered the stadium without a ticket once again. He then proceeded to fight a bull without permission, going so far as to use a gun on the animal. He was also streaking for most of this fight."

"Considering his prior career of interrupting sporting events, my question for you is this: Put yourself in the Court's shoes. If Mr. Bunny were caught interrupting a football game, what kind of punishment would you attempt to give him? The standard fine and minimal jail time? A larger fine and more jail time? Would whether or not he was streaking influence your decision? And would you let him off easier if he ended up on the field single-handedly destroying a team of brutish thugs who quite frankly had it coming?"

"Your metaphor this week should be on the topic of: toothpaste."

"And this week's extra credit is to provide the best justicey repeating sound other than 'DOINK DOINK' or 'CHUNG CHUNG.'"

"Have at it, class!"

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

For any and all discussion.

For any and all turning of stuff in. And probably conversation based on the turning of stuff in.

"I like CHUNG CHUNG!"

Jaye might be pouting a little and it's all Rory Gilmore's fault.

"Tar and feathering," Jaye says with a nod.

Aeryn blinks, as usually that's her sort of answer.

"I don't understand why they keep letting him do this," Aeryn says, and she hates this bunny that isn't Esme. "He deserves more than the minimum punishment because he's a repeat offender, except he probably only keeps doing it because he gets away wih it. And what are brutish thugs even doing on the field?"

"It would depend on whether Mr Bunny had been caught and charged for these previous acts of streaking and disruption. If he had then the court would clearly be justified in handing down a larger sentence, as any previous ones clearly made little impact. If they hadn't the possibility exists that Mr Bunny did not know what he was doing was wrong, which while no real excuse provides a reason for leniency on this occasion."

"Also, if Mr Bunny had destroyed these brutish thugs who had it coming, he was clearly yet again being used by the gods, this time as an instrument of punishment, and thus should be pitied rather reprimanded."

Metaphor

Justice is the foaming cleanser that gets into every crook and cranny to keep the mouth of Society minty-fresh and free from the plaque of crime!

EC

~~"I don't suppose the clashing of swords counts?"~~

Callisto did an fairly good imitation of a police siren. Loudly.

Justice is like toothpaste, put on a brush and used to keep justice having good breath? I don't know. Dentics are better anyway.

Justice is like a dentic, not passive in its pursuit of cleaning away evil and decay.

"If this was the first arrest, he should get the minimal jail time and standard fine--he shouldn't be punished for times he was ~~sneaky~~ not caught, even if he was disruptive. If this isn't the first arrest, more fines or jail time may be necessary. If that still doesn't work, he should be made to clean up after the sporting event."

Sam thought a little longer. "And if anyone was hurt because of his actions, he should have to pay their doctors' or hospital bills."

"Oh, and he's a bunny. It's okay if he doesn't wear clothes."

Marty mutters something about Rabbit stew.

"I think I'd want to know what the bunny had done this time before deciding on a punishment," said Janet. "Wouldn't you want to see how it compared in severity to his prior offenses? Though you'd have to take those into consideration."

We should all be the toothpaste of Justice, keeping society shiny and clean--and free of cavities.

Janet's repeating sound of justice is the Barney Miller theme song.

For extra credit, Marty writes down, "The reggae riff from 'Bad Boys'."

"Have we considered therapy?" Angel asked. "These repeated attempts for attention and validation might imply this bunny needs to deal with deep-seated issues. Maybe even about his dad."

1) Justice is like toothpaste in that even the most evil members of society can't deny that it's useful and makes things better. Heck, most vampires would really agree on that one because a vamp without teeth is just a sad, sad thing. Sadder than a vamp who wears hot pink all the time. For justice.

2) That neat screaming sound when a stake finds its way home?

The toothpaste of Justice is important to society, in that it works hand in hand with the mouthwash of Law and floss of Order. Without any of them, the dental hygiene of Life becomes dangerous and chaotic and teeth start falling out of the Mouth of Society, leaving only abscesses of Crime and Villany.

EC: Sam made the sound of two pieces of wood together, trying to sound like a judge's gavel.

"That's not an appropriate punishment in this day and age, Jaye."

"Very good points, Aeryn! How far up would you scale the punishment, though?"

"And the brutish thugs are playing football, of course!"

Jaye thinks about this. "Put him down? Do they put bunnies down?"

"As it's really only I think what would be misdemeanor crimes, he probably wouldn't get more than a few years, but at least he would get a lesson out of it."

Tick was a little surprised at a call for leniency from Callisto. "Good call, Callisto! No, he had never been charged for these acts before, so leniency likely would have to be granted."

Tick was once again forced to ponder the roll of the gods in Justice. This would have to be a discussion one day.

"Not when they're anthropomorphic, they don't."

"Sounds fair. Well done!"

"Very good reasoning, Sam! I especially like the creative punishment! If other punishments don't straighten him out, cleaning a football stadium will!"

"As for the appropriateness of his clotheslessness... We'll discuss that another day."

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Advanced Criminal Justice, Class #3, Period 1, 01.17.06

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