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Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday | Period 1

Today, the Danger Shop was set up somewhat oddly. With a TV in the front and a few couches facing it, it might at first glance look like one of the school common rooms. But if someone perceptive happened to notice the picture frames on the wall, assorted paintings and way-too-nice furniture, that might be a hint that it wasn't a common room at all, but a standard household living room.

"So a bunch of you probably have guests coming this weekend," Neal ventured. "Some of you might not, which is pretty lucky for you guys -- " He only wished he could be so lucky -- "but I thought we'd work on an important skill in case you guys need it."

The TV in the front of the room suddenly switched on, and text appeared, reading: Lying To Your Parents.

Sorry, Bruce.

Then it flicked back off. Neal, for the record, was pretty proud of himself for setting that up.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to convince those parental figures on the couch over there that you are not guilty of whatever they're blaming you for," Neal said. He held up his hat, revealing slips of paper with assignments for everyone. "Once you can do that, you're done for the day. Go hide your dirty socks or whatever you have to do."

Wasn't he the nicest teacher ever?

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Like a lying liar.

Sorry, Bruce.

Parents on the couch are moddable or I can play one for you. The crimes you're being accused of are as follows:

Kenzi - Marrying a vampire. Underage.
Alice Cullen - Being an accomplice to a major bank robbery.
Bart Allen - Stealing puppies.
Bruce Wayne - Cutting class every day to go to police evidence auctions.
Jack Carter - Being deeply and passionately in love with your pick of the members of the iCarly team. (Because I'm mean, you see.)
Lex Luthor - Buying an illegal dragon and keeping him in your room.
Miley Ray Stewart - Sleepwalking during class and calling your teacher names.

Who Neal really hopes no longer looks like a creepy guy.

He may be texting, or amusedly watching you guys lie. Or both.

Questions? Calls for modding?

Miley Ray Stewart

Ugh. Lying. Why did he always pick things Miley couldn't do? She facepalmed, and dreaded whatever assignment he would give her.

Miley tiptoed into the living room, looking weary and resigned to her fate.

"Hey, uh... you guys," she said, since calling these Danger Shop-generated people her parents would just be weird. "Uh... you guys wanted to talk to me about the, uh, sleepwalking thing, right?"

Which had actually happened to her once. She wondered how Neal had known that.

"So, like, the thing is, I didn't call her names names," she justified. "Or, well, I did, but it's not like they meant anything! They were alliterative! And the only reason I wasn't sleeping was cause Dad -- uh, I mean, you -- wrote a song I didn't like and I had to pretend I did, you know? So I just ended up sleeping in class! That's not my fault, is it?"

It was her fault.

Lex Luthor

Bart Allen

Well, this should be an easy class, since there was no way the Danger Shop could be as intimidating to lie to as his dad was.

Lex glanced at his piece of paper, he guessed that's what happened when a puppy was out of the question.

"Firstly, I should point out that dragons don't exist." So clearly he couldn't be keeping one in his room.

Bart stood in front of his "parents" on the couch. Before even saying a word, he was sweating. "Um. So. I... I love puppies. I would love a puppy. But I totally wouldn't steal one! Because I don't steal things. Or puppies!" There's a pause as he tries to keep himself from hyperventilating.

"I don't even like puppies! Why would I want a puppy? They're slobbering hairy things! They're not even cute. Right? So I totally wouldn't steal one. Or three."

He was going to pass out.

Kenzi

He gets his wish! Ta-da!

Hey, she wasn't creepy.

Oh for... Kenzi sighed. Hmm.

"How could I possibly have gotten married?" Kenzi asked the fake parents. "You *know* we would have come to you guys first. And we would have had a big church wedding. And seriously, why would I get married? And before you point out the easiest explanation, no, he couldn't knock me up, he's a vampire."

A beat. Pause. Await freak-out or laughter.

"Anyway, I'm on the pill or something close enough, so that's not happening. Plus I may love the guy, but I'm a realist, getting married is-- only something we do to inherit junk, am I right? He's not gonna die! How can I inherit if he's going to outlive me by three centuries?"

Another pause. The rebuttal is not as compelling as Kenzi thinks her own parents would come up with.

"Look, I'm not going to prove the vampire thing to you. I think you have something to prove to me. Specifically, how you came by this spurious information, what you were doing spying on me without talking to me, and what you think you're doing interfering in my life. I'll be eighteen in another year or so, and frankly, we both know I can handle situations like this better than you can."

A sad look. "Don't you trust me?"

... then Kenzi cracked up.

Kenzi wandered over to lean against his desk while was texting, and leaned close. "Tell Mozzie I said hi. Or Peter. Or El."

"Peter says hi back," Neal said, looking up. "Oh, good. You're normal again."

Kenzi stuck out her tongue at him, and perched on the desk. "You think you're glad? How do you male people deal with all that, I can't even imagine." Testosterone and extra body parts and being huge and awkward. BAH.

"You get used to it," he said absently. "Hey, what do you think of this lock?" He held up a fairly complicated padlock that he'd been considering getting installed in his apartment. Not because Peter was coming, of course. Some other reason entirely.

Edited 2011-09-28 18:34 (UTC)

Kenzi picked it up, and started playing with it, a look of concentration on her face. "More than ten minutes. I'd find a way to cut through it if I didn't mind leaving evidence someone was there. Otherwise, you'd need to find another way past it, ten is way too long... whyyy?" A bright look of inquiry.

His parents are deeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

"Oh, I figured that if Sam could break into my place, I should probably upgrade," Neal said mildly. "No offense to Sam. I'm sure she's very advanced at lock-picking."

*gasps*

YOU DON'T SAY.

"And door-removal," Kenzi said placidly. "But yes. And why are you needing it now, hmm?"

"Well, you know," he said, waving a hand. "Moz'll give me a hard time if it's too easy to get in there. He's very big on security."

"Oh ooh oooo! Do I get to meet him?" Kenzi seat-danced. "I figured out half his thing but not the other half! Someone was doing something weird last Saturday, cause that was the shammutz or whatever day, and it was weird for them because fish gotta swim birds gotta fly and an eagle won't swim but I don't know who the eagle was!"

Damn. She was really good!

"Good job," he said sincerely. "He's the eagle. Thinks pretty highly of himself," he said, grinning. "It means he's coming here. So yeah, you can meet him."

"YES!" Kenzi punched the air, then beamed at Neal. "This is going to be awesome. Mozzie, and Toby's Ray, and ha, Peter FBI Guy, right?"

"Yep, Peter too."

Pause.

"Try to freak him out, if you can."

"I will give it my best shot." Kenzi beamed at him. "...and we won't be mentioning that arrest, 'cause that was under another name and gender, right?"

"Of course," he said easily. "Not to mention that we wouldn't want our goateed friend to get in trouble."

...there may have been illegality involved.

Bruce Wayne

Well, this topic was somewhat useless to Bruce. Not just because his parents were dead, of course, but because he didn't really have any reason to lie to Alfred. But still, he'd play along.

Alice Cullen

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Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday | Period 1

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