fandomhigh | How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

"Now that we're back in class, it's time to move on to our next session," Lucas said, kicking off the class. "Yeah yeah, no more action stuff, and probably no stuntmen being thrown around for a while, either."

"So now we're focusing on drama. Or, let's be honest, award bait. Because really, that's why people make dramas. There are other minor reasons, I guess. They're not funny or they look funny holding a gun. But if they're like me - and most actors are - they broke into drama for the awards and award shows. Nobody gave me an invite to Sundance until I made Let's Hope There's a Heaven and that baby scored some prizes. And all I did was kiss some chick and die for a couple hours! And that's the reason why LHTH did so well," Lucas said, and yes, he did say 'LHTH.' "It's because I hit the three biggest parts of drama. I cried, I gave a big monologue, and I died. We're going to start with that first one today."

"Crying in movies is shorthand for 'Hey. I can act.' If you can pull off a crying scene, people are going to give you a lot of credit. You don't even have to be great! You can just be pretty good and people will give you extra credit. But if you're terrible at it, everyone's going to laugh at you. And then you'll learn how to cry more realistically."

"Step one is to figure out how to force yourself to cry. Try to think of something sad, like a breakup or a parent dying or, I don't know, someone kicking your puppy. The more personal it is, the more realistic it is. If that doesn't work, try violence. Stub your toe or pinch yourself or have somebody punch you really hard. Or just be like me and be a really good actor."

"Okay, that's enough talking for me. I want everyone to cry today. I don't care how you do it, just cry. And then write up a quick explanation for how you made yourself cry and turn it in."

Because he hadn't done anything evil yet this class period, but demanding potential emotional blackmail made up for that.

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Sadly.

Or just talk during it. Even though it's actually, like, a real lecture this time and not just a couple minute demonstration!

Go ahead and cry. If you need to recruit help, you're not as good an actor as Lucas, but do what you have to do to cry. And then, of course, write a quick sentence or two explaining what the key to making yourself cry was.

An alternate version of the girl who made Lucas cry when he was in high school.

Whose movie also won at the Toronto Film Festival.

I meant to write this up last night, but instead of that I fell asleep really hard. Oh well, it's still up before I have to go to work!

Ramona Flowers

Ramona was not going to cry, thank you. But she would totally pinch anyone who needed help.

Nathan Young

Nathan couldn't remember the last time he cried and he didn't think he'd be crying anytime soon either. There just wasn't enough to make him cry in this world. He didn't want to end up all snotty and red face. No thank you.

And he was having trouble picturing Professor Lee crying, movie or not.

Yeah, Nathan wasn't doing well with the whole crying thing. Thinking of his dad just pissed him off, thinking of his mum pissed him off, thinking of someone dying...was too hard because he hadn't cared about anyone that had died.

He tried to think of something horrific like Bono being a dickwad or the Spice Girls being internationally best selling artists but that just made him confused. This assignment was giving him trouble.

Kate Gregson

Kate could remember the last time she'd cried. It was most of Monday, this very same week. So she looked a little sour when she realized that was seriously the only topic today.

"Would kicking you make you cry?" Kate wondered, sauntering over. Yes, she was just going to assume he'd be hardpressed to cry over emotional things in class. "Or would that just make you whine?"

"If you kick me, I'm gonna kick you back and then curse at you," Nathan said, giving her a look. "Feel free to give it a go, though. Maybe you'll find just the sweet spot and I'll shed a few tears."

Kate tilted her head at him and pretended to gve it some thought. "Nah, I think I'll pass," she decided then. "All I see that leading to is a circle of violence."

"I don't cry," he informed her, leaning a little closer and pointing to his eyes. "Look into these eyes. My tear ducts are fucking dry. If I'm ever sad, I make a choice to go out and find some sort of amazing outlet for my sadness. Usually she's about five foot ten, top heavy with pouting, red lips. Works every time!"

"Well, that must be nice for you," she drawled, amused. "And you have good eyes. But you're gonna fail the assignment."

Whereas she totally intended to cry in public. Totally. Except not.

"I don't cry." He did but it was extremely rare and took a lot. "I think Professor Lee will understand that my masculinity prevents me from crying like a little pussy in class."

"He gave the assignment knowing you are in this class, though," Kate couldn't help pointing out. "And, also, by enforcing your masculinity like that, I think you're undermining his. I can't see him liking that."

"You planning on crying, Kate?" Nathan asked, raising an eyebrow. "You gonna break down into a snotty mess where all you'll want is a big hug? I'd give you a big hug, Kate, as long as you don't wipe your nose on my shirt."

He even opened his arms and stepped forward, laughing. "Come on, give us a hug, Kate."

Kate stepped back. "Uh, no," she said, quirking a brow. "There will be no real crying, and no real need for hugs."

There was always a real need for hugs, but he didn't need to know that.

"Oh Kate, c'mon," he said and dropped one of his arms but kept the other one out. "You don't want a hug? If we can't cry, we can practice ways to comfort the other should we ever have an ugly crying fit. It's the compassionate thing to do. And..."

He stepped closer to her, stage whispering, "...if we're sly about it, maybe we can fake a cry."

"You just want to get close to me," Kate decided, but she stayed as she was, now, instead of moving back and away again. "I am onto you, Nathaniel."

"Now why would I want to get closer to you?" Nathan asked, reaching to take one of her hands, at least. He didn't yank her into a hug or anything but he could swing their hands back and forth. "You think you're that special?"

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How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

Sign In

Listen to the Lecture

Cry!

Talk to the TA

Talk to Lucas

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