fandomhigh | The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [10/19 ].

The only nice thing about that whole vacation thing last week was that Farnsworth didn't have to teach, and he decided it was so nice, that he didn't really have to teach today, either.

By 'not teaching,' he meant recycling another class from the summer. It was perfect, because it still looked like teaching.

"I see you've all survived the last week and subsequent gender-bending last few days," said Farnsworth at the beginning of class, not even bothering to mask his disappointment. The most depressing part of the whole trip was the utter lack of teenager-eating robot abominable snow men, and his utter lack of ability to make an army of them before the vacation was complete. He went to the blackboard and wrote: Today's Lesson: Superduper Symmetrical String Theory and, below it, a great mass of goobledy gock formulas, and a diagram of what looked like dog, but a dog covered in a giant dog-sized sock tied with string.

He went on to explain a whole mess of information regarding how the superduper symmetrical string theory, or SD SdT from here on in, is all about a quantum theory of gravity, which is different than a quantum theory of, say, electromagnetism, nuclear forces, or your mom. Essentially, it is focused on the idea that the universe could never be smaller than the size of a string, at which point it would actually begin expanding, and that no measurable differences can be detected between strings that wrap around dimensions smaller than themselves and those that move along larger dimensions.

Which all made enough sense a baby could figure it out and was surely helped along by Farnsworth's drawings, which appeared like they belonged more on a Rorschach test than a mathematics classroom.

"Now," Farnsworth continued without pause, "our physical space is observed by complete idiots to have only three large dimensions and, taken together with duration as the fourth dimension, a physical theory must take this into account. However, nothing prevents a theory from including more than 4 dimensions, you know. String theory here consistency requires spacetime to have 10 dimensions. We have four here." He drew something on the board. "Where are the other six?"

"So your assignment today," he turned back to the class with such a deceptively kind smile, "is to create one of those missing six dimensions. Won't that be fun? Hopefully you can all come up with less lame ideas than those crackpots who took this class before you."

"And when you're finished with that, I have this very informative video for you to watch and, next week, I'd like you to write a six page report for next week about its main points and how it showcases the theories on the mathematics of quantum neutrino fields discussed thus far."

Assigning a long report on a homecoming weekend was just the sort of thing to make Farnsworth's day better.

[[ ~~wait for~~ the OCD is all strung out! ]]

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Edited 2010-10-19 13:20 (UTC)

Because string theory is so easy to follow even when you don't have Farnsworth explaining it.

Dimensions five through ten are waiting to be completely pulled out of your butt. Have at it.

Not only is it in Japanese (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBYz3WRnHLA), but it get really boring after about a minute of the same joke and has absolutely nothing to do with science.

...OR DOES IT?

Who is, appropriately, getting himself tangled up in cat's cradle string because he thought that might be a good way to pass the time while the kids suffer...err, learn.

I always feel bad about recycling class, but then I remember how much I actually liked these lessons and don't feel bad because I know on a day when I was having nightmares about Monkey Picked Oolong tea, I couldn't come up with something as nice as this....

My brain is in special land this week.

Christian

Christian doggedly (ha!) tried to copy the diagram down from the board.

He was doing okay until he lost track of it, realized he'd messed up entirely, and started just doodling instead. Now the dog had wings.

"Could love be a dimension?" Christian offered.

(No, Christian. No, it couldn't.)

To that suggestion, Farnsworth could only stare at Christian for a moment before deciding, "You didn't turn back into a male this morning after all, did you?"

And then shuddered, because what an ugly broad.

"I'm fully male!" Christian insisted. "I have all my manly parts. I simply don't see why talking about emotions makes me less of a man."

Arms folded over his chest, Farnsworth just looked at Christian as if he'd pretty much made his point right there.

Then he sighed, dropped his arms for a moment before bringing them back up in a gesture of futility. "Fine," he said, "love can be a dimension. A dimension of girly men who talk about their feelings and make me glad that it's a dimension I'll never have to be stuck in."

Kate Gregson

Tim Drake

Christian slumped back in his seat, clearly irritated. "Love is the best thing there is! It's the reason we're on this planet! And if you can't understand that, sir -- well, perhaps it explains a great deal about this class."

"Love," said Farnsworth, "is a series of synopses fired in the brain, connected to the parts of our body to convince ourselves that there's more to this world than just procreating and passing our genes on to the next generation."

"I've heard that argument," Christian muttered. "I think it's the creation of scientists who cannot appreciate the heart."

"The heart is a major organ that pumps blood through the circulatory system so you can live," Farnsworth informed him. "It is a muscle; it doesn't have feelings. And, trust me, you don't get to be my age and not appreciate what the heart can do and the fact that it's still even beating."

Pause.

"Most of the time."

George Lass

This class became way less annoying once you tuned out. What were they going to do, flunk her?

"My loathing of you is a dimension," George said.

There was enough hate in her to bend the fabric of space-time.

"There you go," said Farnsworth, wagging his head in disappointment. "You kids and your feelings again. This is quantum mathematics, not some hippy-dippy psychology class."

Harper Finkle

"There is nothing hippy-dippy about my hatred for you," George said firmly.

"There is nothing unique about it, either," Farnsworth offered. "Or other-dimension-y."

The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [10/19 ].

Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Video -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Talk to Farnsworth -- Mo.Q.N.F., 10/19.

OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.

Re: Assignment -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/19.