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fandomhigh2010-09-28 11:13 pm
tricksy-spy.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-09-28 11:13 pm
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So You Say You Want a Revolution: Week 5, Period 3
"Three days until Parents' Weekend, and most of you are still here? I'm impressed," Aly said teasingly. "Those of you who are new, don't worry. No one's died as a result of parental or other visitors. Embarrassment, I can't help you with. What I can do is-"well, technically she was going to probably start the embarrassment early, but whatever "- possibly give you some pointers on handling not just this weekend, but every time you need to establish a quick rapport with another person whether you need them as a contact or ally for your movement or just because you want your girlfriend's mom to like you.
She flipped the whiteboard around to reveal the writing on it.
11 Ways to Start Off on the Right Foot, or a Guide to Flirting.
1. Remain Still and Composed
2. Smile genuinely
3. Maintain as much eye contact as you can tolerate
4. Employ the same body language you would use with an old friend
5. Your opening statement is crucial
6. Assess then focus on the other person's interests
7. Mirror body language and echo speech patterns
8. Plan in advance what you're going to say about yourself
9. Be prepared for likely topics
10. Maintain unshakable confidence no matter what
11. Work the silences
Returning her gaze to the class, Aly gestured to the board. "Everyone likes an easy tip sheet, right? Here you are then, eleven ways you can start to build trust and establish rapport with a new contact." She winked. "Or a new interest. In all honesty, you can look at this type of conversation as flirting without sexual intent. What is flirting other than initiating contact and expressing interest in another person? You want to appear interesting, sincere, confident enough for the other person to think you're worth continuing the conversation with."
She looked back at the board. "Some of these are rather obvious. 'Smile genuinely.' I'm sure you've all met someone who just pulled his teeth back from his lips and called that a smile. It's not and it won't inspire warm feelings or even a smile in return. 'Your opening statement is crucial.' It's all the other person has to reply to, and when you're making contacts or flirting, you don't want to force the burden of the conversation on the other person. So don't box yourself in. Don't say 'wow, sure is hot in here.' What if the other person likes the heat? Ask them what they think and move on from there. Everyone likes talking about him or herself so find out their interests and focus your attention there."
Aly paused then rolled her eyes slightly. "But not to the exclusion of talking about yourself. Don't dodge questions. It's obvious and from a technical standpoint, anyone smart enough to be your agent is smart enough to notice. I realise that sort of thing looks really good in the spy films or novels, but it just doesn't generally work. Give the person a reason to keep talking to you, give them a reason to share information about themselves. That's why you're planning what you want to say in advance."
"So, any questions about this, how you'd use it, why you'd use it, anything?" She asked, gazing around the room, meeting each student's eyes. Once any questions were answered, Aly continued. "Your assignment today is twofold - one, I want you all to pair up and flirt - or establish a rapport if that's easier to think about or your girlfriend is in the class - with someone. If you don't know them very well, that's a bonus." She glanced over the class. "The second part is to keep these ideas in mind throughout the weekend and try to consciously use them as you meet some of our visitors. Be ready to report back on how it worked next Wednesday."
She waved to dismiss them into the activity then called everyone's attention back to her. "One last thing. If there's anything you want to be sure I mention - or don't mention - to your visitors, feel free to let me know. I look forward to meeting everyone's family and friends, and I'd rather not let any cats out of the bag."
She flipped the whiteboard around to reveal the writing on it.
11 Ways to Start Off on the Right Foot, or a Guide to Flirting.
1. Remain Still and Composed
2. Smile genuinely
3. Maintain as much eye contact as you can tolerate
4. Employ the same body language you would use with an old friend
5. Your opening statement is crucial
6. Assess then focus on the other person's interests
7. Mirror body language and echo speech patterns
8. Plan in advance what you're going to say about yourself
9. Be prepared for likely topics
10. Maintain unshakable confidence no matter what
11. Work the silences
Returning her gaze to the class, Aly gestured to the board. "Everyone likes an easy tip sheet, right? Here you are then, eleven ways you can start to build trust and establish rapport with a new contact." She winked. "Or a new interest. In all honesty, you can look at this type of conversation as flirting without sexual intent. What is flirting other than initiating contact and expressing interest in another person? You want to appear interesting, sincere, confident enough for the other person to think you're worth continuing the conversation with."
She looked back at the board. "Some of these are rather obvious. 'Smile genuinely.' I'm sure you've all met someone who just pulled his teeth back from his lips and called that a smile. It's not and it won't inspire warm feelings or even a smile in return. 'Your opening statement is crucial.' It's all the other person has to reply to, and when you're making contacts or flirting, you don't want to force the burden of the conversation on the other person. So don't box yourself in. Don't say 'wow, sure is hot in here.' What if the other person likes the heat? Ask them what they think and move on from there. Everyone likes talking about him or herself so find out their interests and focus your attention there."
Aly paused then rolled her eyes slightly. "But not to the exclusion of talking about yourself. Don't dodge questions. It's obvious and from a technical standpoint, anyone smart enough to be your agent is smart enough to notice. I realise that sort of thing looks really good in the spy films or novels, but it just doesn't generally work. Give the person a reason to keep talking to you, give them a reason to share information about themselves. That's why you're planning what you want to say in advance."
"So, any questions about this, how you'd use it, why you'd use it, anything?" She asked, gazing around the room, meeting each student's eyes. Once any questions were answered, Aly continued. "Your assignment today is twofold - one, I want you all to pair up and flirt - or establish a rapport if that's easier to think about or your girlfriend is in the class - with someone. If you don't know them very well, that's a bonus." She glanced over the class. "The second part is to keep these ideas in mind throughout the weekend and try to consciously use them as you meet some of our visitors. Be ready to report back on how it worked next Wednesday."
She waved to dismiss them into the activity then called everyone's attention back to her. "One last thing. If there's anything you want to be sure I mention - or don't mention - to your visitors, feel free to let me know. I look forward to meeting everyone's family and friends, and I'd rather not let any cats out of the bag."