fandomhigh | Demolition and Dynamite; Friday, Third Period [ 09/03 ].

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blow things up

Demolition and Dynamite; Friday, Third Period [ 09/03 ].

Kūkaku Shiba stood in front of her classroom, arms folded in front of her with a smirk on her face as she watched the poor, poor bastards file in. She'd like to think that her current posture was one that reduced the ampleness of her chest, but in that, she would be terribly wrong. Of course, there were two other twins behind her, big silent men in funny little caps, arms equally folded but looking much more grim. As soon as the last student had sat down and gotten as comfortable as one could get when your teacher was just staring at the class with an almost wolfish smirk on her face, she called out, loud enough to make one wonder if her breasts were so large because they had to house massive lungs, "ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, MOVE IT ON OUTSIDE!"

"Go on! Get! Don't make me have to boot your ass to get you moving. It ain't exactly eight o'clock anymore, and, unfortunately, we gotta save the blowing up the class room lesson for later in the semester. Come on! You have feet, use them!"

Once everyone had been effectively marched and hastled outside, Kūkaku grinned again and looked them over; her arms were still folded in front of her. "Good," she said. "Welcome to Demolition and Dynamite, an Introduction to Pyrotechnics, aka How Not To Die of Explosions. I am Kūkaku Shiba, your instructor for the course, and, believe me, you are some lucky little mouth breathers because I'm the best there is. None better! And to prove my point, I'm going to give you a demonstration. Koganehiko! Shiroganehiko!" The men stepped forward at attention. "Set 'er up!"

They went to quick and efficient work in establishing an apparatus, and Kūkaku held up a wrapped ball with a string hanging from it. "Doesn't look like much," she said, smirking, "but just you wait until you see it. Typical explosive has three major components: powders or chemicals that make it go boom, a casing, and a fuse. This type's a firework, so we've also got a stand to help shoot it off right for that...aesthetic prettiness." She knelt down by the apparatus, setting the bomb into it. "Now, watch carefully..."

With the same hand she set the bomb down with, she took a match, struck it against the toothy smirk, and brought the flame to the fuse.

And then....

[[ mmm, ocd ~~on the way...~~ is all shook up! ]]

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Burn, baby, burn.

Up and at 'em! And if you do lag behind, Kūkaku will boot you in the behind. Or possibly slap you upside the head, so keep a good pace and then pay attention!

Edited 2010-09-03 12:00 (UTC)

Just as she could perfectly measure a certain amount of powder, Kūkaku could measure when the rile of emotions might be about to pique and, right at that moment, she stopped shouting, paused for a moment, and then began to laugh.

She was a cruel, cruel person. And possibly a little insane.

"Gotcha," she said, straightening up and waving around her stub of a right arm, perfectly bandaged, not at all bleeding or showing any sign of recent damage. And, even if there weren't any that were still freaking out, she yelled, "Hey! Look! That wasn't real! That was a prosthetic. You, blonde girl, with the bangs," she pointed the stump at Elle, "go get it. I did that to prove a point and give your first lesson. I am an expert in this field; you'd be hard pressed to find anyone better, and even I've had my moments," more waving of the stump, "of royally fucking my shit up. It's been a while, but I was young then, and I don't need any of you to make any stupid mistakes and join the ranks of the perminantly left handed like myself.

"SO DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID. I'm the expert, so I'm the only one allowed. The rest of you have to remember this and it's the most important thing you will ever learn in this class: SAFETY FIRST. GOT IT? I see you being a complete moron and I'm kicking you out of the class, is that understood?"

She didn't even wait for a response.

"Okay. Good. Introductions. I wanna know who you are and why you're here and, if that had been real, and I'd really had just blown my actual arm to kingdom come like an idiot, what would you have done? You. Go."

Edited 2010-09-03 12:10 (UTC)

"Good. You're dismissed. Homework for next week: bring something you wouldn't mind blowing up. See you then."

Assuming the first class hadn't scared any of them off. Kūkaku was fine by it if they didn't. It weeded out the weak ones.

She was, however, sticking around in case anyone wanted to talk to her after class, already lighting her pipe.

What? They were outside.

My apologies for emotionally scarring any of your pups.

And if they're not scarred, Kūkaku is a little concerned. Kūkaku concerned. Jus' sayin'.

I might likely be fail again today, but I shall try to not be as much suck as yesterday. MOVING SUCKS.

Calvin

Calvin spent most of the march and lecture trying not to stare at the teacher's chest. Trying.

Calvin may have fainted, just a little.

If he was conscious, Calvin would have been more than happy to introduce himself.

Someone actually fainted?

Ha! That worked even better than Kūkaku could have ever imagined.

"Oi! Someone wanna run and get some water for Fainty Mc Fainterson over here?"

Thankfully, even if one of the kids went to do it, Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko were there for just these sorts of events and, before you knew it, Calvin was not only fainted, but not doused in two buckets of cold water.

Thoroughly soaked, Calvin jerked back awake with a sound best described as 'fnarteacherboomwurble'.

At least Hobbes wasn't around to see this, he'd never let Calvin forget it.

Bruce Wayne

"You okay, kid?" Kūkaku loomed over him and, by now, had her fake arm back, holding it with the other one, and probably wasn't about to help matters much.

"Nothin' hurt?"

Luckily, Calvin had a certain mental resilience now that there wasn't an exploded teacher screaming in agony involved, especially when he had something to distract him. "...your arm healed quick."

"It's a fake," Kūkaku offered helpfully, going to very lightly tap the prosthetic over the kid's head, pretty sure that both of them would produce a hollow sound. "I can barely even remember when I last had both my arms. But that doesn't mean you should have to grow up like that, kid, so what does this teach us?"

Sure, he'd been passed out and only just now came around, but safety was important.

Maybe not a hollow sound, exactly.

"Make sure your fake arms are fireproof?"

And that answer earned him a thwap with the fake arm that was a little more concrete.

Kūkaku was a shamelessly violent woman.

"No!" she said, although that was a fairly decent guess. "Make sure you don't blow up your fake arms at all! Or your real ones!"

Ow. "Right." That made sense. "No blowing up limbs of any description."

Though what if it was for science?

Peter Bishop

Not even for science.

"Good boy," Kūkaku smirked, nodding her head. "Now that the important part's over, what's your name? Unless you want me callin' you Fainty all semester."

He was going to get more than enough of that from Hobbes. "Calvin."

Chances were, Kūkaku was probably going to still call him Fainty more often than not. She would, of course, mean it with love. It meant that he was at least one student who'd learned to fear the bomb as he should.

And it was a much better name than Calvin anyway. What? Did his parents hate him?

"And why'd you decide to take my class, Calvin?"

"I like science and explosions. Which don't involve people's limbs. Or other body parts." Before today he'd never felt the need to qualify that statement in that particular way.

Makita

Peter stared for a moment, but scrambled for his phone to dial 911.

Peter shut his phone, glad he didn't actually have to call for EMTs. "Okay, I'm Peter Bishop, I'm here because I want to explode things while walking away from them and not looking back like every movie badass, and I was trying to call the emergency services."

Somewhere, George Bluth Sr. approves, mightily.

Alex Russo

Alex listened the lecture and couldn't help but glance at the two guys standing behind her. They were tall.

Parker

Alex stood there and stared, taking a moment (or two) to process what had just happened. And then she was looking around for anything that might help bandage Kūkaku's arm, while trying not to freak out.

Elle Bishop

Shane Gooseman

Elle was too busy staring at the explosion for a moment. "Cool!"

And then she heard the screaming.

And saw the arm.

"... well, shit, that probably wasn't supposed to happen."

Elle trotted off to get the prosthetic.

"I'm Elle Bishop, I'm here because explosions are cool, and if that'd been real, I'd... am I going to get failed for the day if I say I have no idea what the hell I'd have done?"

The explosion was bigger than Bruce had anticipated. The arm flying off was also unexpected. But... it was hard for him to believe that her arm could be blown off that severely while apparently staying in one piece. He wasn't buying it.

This was practice for fourth period, apparently.

"Bruce Wayne," Bruce said. "I'm here because I'd rather know some things about demolitions in case I ever need to. It's safer than the other way around. And if you had blown your arm off, I would have found something to use as a tourniquet to help control the bleeding until we could get you to the clinic."

The fact that those qualifications now existed meant, in Kūkaku's opinion, just meant that Calvin here was a quick learner.

"Maybe we'll get you to like the ones that involve at least other people's body parts," she said with a smirk. "Don't know how sciency we'll get, but we'll definitely get to plenty of explosions."

Pause.

"If you think you can handle 'em."

"Good, good," Kūkaku nodded. "Saw you already had your phone thing out, so good on the quick reflexes, Bishop. And I definitely know how to help you with the walking away from explosions thing, but now I'm gonna have to hold it until the last class to make sure you pay attention."

"You'll only get failed," Kūkaku pointed out, "if you don't know the answer to that by the end of the class. Not knowing it now is fine. That's the sort of thing you're here to learn."

"And thanks," she added, taking the arm. "You're a good little arm fetcher. You wanna be an assistant, go fetch any other arms that might wind up skybound?"

"I'll know it by then," Elle promised solemnly. "And sure!"

Yeah, there's something just a little wrong in the head with this one.

Kūkaku pointed to her head, her stump, her other arm, her legs. "Bandages," she said, nodding. "Always good to have and not just to cover little burns. Good for emergency tourniquets, just like Brucey here said. Good job, Brucey."

And she meant that. So far, out of all of them, he was seeming like the least likely to wind up actually blowing off his face.

"You better," Kūkaku nodded. "Welcome aboard!"

They'll be like peas in a pod, then, really....

Considering Calvin's interest in science was related largely to how it could be used for explosions, he was fine with the focus being on the latter. "Sure I can." Though he was suddenly a lot more grateful for Loki's class being before this one.

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Demolition and Dynamite; Friday, Third Period [ 09/03 ].

Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

During the March and Lecture -- D&D, 09/03.

And then... -- D&D, 09/03.

The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Talk to Kūkaku -- D&D, 09/03.

OOC -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: During the March and Lecture -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: And then... -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: And then... -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: OOC -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: During the March and Lecture -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: And then... -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: Sign In -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: And then... -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: And then... -- D&D, 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&amp;D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&amp;D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.

Re: The Rest of the Lecture/Introductions -- D&D; 09/03.