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saltandammo.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2010-07-23 11:02 am
saltandammo.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-07-23 11:02 am
Entry tags:
Dating, Hooking Up and Sex, Class 3, Friday period 3
There was a woman dressed all in black skintight leather standing next to Dean when the class filed in.
"Hi guys," Dean greeted them. "You're all probably wondering who the hot girl beside me is. This, ladies and gentlemen is my Baby. She's also not usually human, but she's always hot. Usually she's my '67 impala, and I have no problem admitting that I love her. If I didn't, she wouldn't be here like this -- last summer there was a weekend here was a weekend where everything people really really loved became human, like my Baby here. As I'm sure some of you have already discovered, that particular brand of Fandom weirdness is happening again. And before any of you ask, yes, she is who I'm referring to in the title of the last class in the syllabus." He grinned. "Not quite as kinky as you all were afraid it was, is it?
"And speaking of the syllabus, today's class is about how to find someone to do all that stuff you wrote down in your lists last week. Today we're going to concentrate on the hooking up part of the class title.
"So you know what you want and you've found someone who is hot. Or interesting, or cute, or a green alien with three heads from Alpha Centuri. Whatever floats your boat. You've found someone you're attracted to and you want to get to know them better. There's tips I can give you on various kinds of approaches and lines and all that, but really the thing you have to always keep in mind in these situations is nothing ventured, nothing gained.
"Doesn't matter if you're looking for someone to jump your bones as soon as you exchange names or someone who you want to have a long slow courtship with lots of dating and handholding and blushing before you get to the good stuff. If you don't take that first step and talk to the person, nothing's going to happen except you pining from afar. So make a move. Stomp on your nerves, take a deep breath and go over and say hi.
"Once you get talking, the best thing you can do is pay attention -- real attention -- to the other person, to what they're saying and how they're saying it. Find things you have in common to talk about, and watch their body language -- you can learn a lot just by watching how they move in reaction to what you're saying.
"Humor works well to break the ice and settle the nerves, as does complimenting the person you're trying to hook up with. And I mean real compliments -- things that you're genuinely liking. You can throw fake things out there of course, but fake is fake. It always works a lot better when you're honest.
"And once you've got talking for a while, you'll be able to tell if this is something worth pursuing or if you should just cut your losses and leave. And if it's the former, there'll be a moment where it'll feel like the right time to make a move, ask for a date. Or a one night stand. Or whatever it is you're looking for. And that's when you take a deep breath and ask. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
He paused to take a sip of his coffee that was sitting on the bar before continuing. "Now I can't give you a step by step, this is what you say and when you say it because every person, every situation is going to be different. What works for me won't necessarily work for you. So this next part I want to stress is merely an example of one way of hooking up and not the One True Hookup. But I wanted to show you something before turning you lose on each other so..." He gestured at the Impala standing next to him. "My Baby and I are going to demonstrate."
Dean and Impala then proceeded to have a back and forth that seemed to be mostly about driving except every word was ladened with innuendo. After a few minutes of that, Dean turned back to the class, noting which students looked a hair away from facepalming themselves out of existence. "So that tends to be how the two of us go about things.
"Now it's your turn," he continued, rubbing his hands together. "Today's assignment is to find someone in the class you want to hit on -- or at least that you can pretend you want to hit on -- and do exactly that. No, I don't expect you to necessarily have the same goal in mind as my Baby and I did, or to approach it the way we did. Do what feels right for you. I'm not going to mark anyone down because they would rather quietly discuss philosophy or a good book instead of throwing around double entendres and innuendos. Just as long as I see that you're making an effort, you'll pass. So, have at it. Get venturing."
"Hi guys," Dean greeted them. "You're all probably wondering who the hot girl beside me is. This, ladies and gentlemen is my Baby. She's also not usually human, but she's always hot. Usually she's my '67 impala, and I have no problem admitting that I love her. If I didn't, she wouldn't be here like this -- last summer there was a weekend here was a weekend where everything people really really loved became human, like my Baby here. As I'm sure some of you have already discovered, that particular brand of Fandom weirdness is happening again. And before any of you ask, yes, she is who I'm referring to in the title of the last class in the syllabus." He grinned. "Not quite as kinky as you all were afraid it was, is it?
"And speaking of the syllabus, today's class is about how to find someone to do all that stuff you wrote down in your lists last week. Today we're going to concentrate on the hooking up part of the class title.
"So you know what you want and you've found someone who is hot. Or interesting, or cute, or a green alien with three heads from Alpha Centuri. Whatever floats your boat. You've found someone you're attracted to and you want to get to know them better. There's tips I can give you on various kinds of approaches and lines and all that, but really the thing you have to always keep in mind in these situations is nothing ventured, nothing gained.
"Doesn't matter if you're looking for someone to jump your bones as soon as you exchange names or someone who you want to have a long slow courtship with lots of dating and handholding and blushing before you get to the good stuff. If you don't take that first step and talk to the person, nothing's going to happen except you pining from afar. So make a move. Stomp on your nerves, take a deep breath and go over and say hi.
"Once you get talking, the best thing you can do is pay attention -- real attention -- to the other person, to what they're saying and how they're saying it. Find things you have in common to talk about, and watch their body language -- you can learn a lot just by watching how they move in reaction to what you're saying.
"Humor works well to break the ice and settle the nerves, as does complimenting the person you're trying to hook up with. And I mean real compliments -- things that you're genuinely liking. You can throw fake things out there of course, but fake is fake. It always works a lot better when you're honest.
"And once you've got talking for a while, you'll be able to tell if this is something worth pursuing or if you should just cut your losses and leave. And if it's the former, there'll be a moment where it'll feel like the right time to make a move, ask for a date. Or a one night stand. Or whatever it is you're looking for. And that's when you take a deep breath and ask. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
He paused to take a sip of his coffee that was sitting on the bar before continuing. "Now I can't give you a step by step, this is what you say and when you say it because every person, every situation is going to be different. What works for me won't necessarily work for you. So this next part I want to stress is merely an example of one way of hooking up and not the One True Hookup. But I wanted to show you something before turning you lose on each other so..." He gestured at the Impala standing next to him. "My Baby and I are going to demonstrate."
Dean and Impala then proceeded to have a back and forth that seemed to be mostly about driving except every word was ladened with innuendo. After a few minutes of that, Dean turned back to the class, noting which students looked a hair away from facepalming themselves out of existence. "So that tends to be how the two of us go about things.
"Now it's your turn," he continued, rubbing his hands together. "Today's assignment is to find someone in the class you want to hit on -- or at least that you can pretend you want to hit on -- and do exactly that. No, I don't expect you to necessarily have the same goal in mind as my Baby and I did, or to approach it the way we did. Do what feels right for you. I'm not going to mark anyone down because they would rather quietly discuss philosophy or a good book instead of throwing around double entendres and innuendos. Just as long as I see that you're making an effort, you'll pass. So, have at it. Get venturing."
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