fandomhigh | The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 07/06 ].

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mathematics

The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 07/06 ].

It was not at all a pleased Professor Farnsworth who shuffled into the classroom today to see several bright young faces staring back at him. Under his arm, he held an impressively large binder stuffed with papers, and, as he dropped it on the front desk with a loud whomp, he narrowed his eyes in distaste from behind his thick glasses. Which, of course, meant no one could probably even see the glare.

"This," he announced with the appropriate amount of surliness, "is the Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. This is not the Mathematics of Wonton Burrito Meals, so if that's what you're here for, get out! And bring me back one, because I haven't had lunch yet. In this class, I will teach you all about how you're all idiots, because the concepts we will be discussing are so expansive and important that it'll be far too much for your puny, developing minds to grasp and only emphasize the fact that you're doomed to a life of mediocrity and common stupidity."

He flipped the binder open to the first page and gave the class what could have been a smile. It could have also have just been gas.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

"A neutrino is is an elementary particle that usually travels close to the speed of light, is electrically neutral, and is able to pass through ordinary matter almost undisturbed. Almost. We'll have to cover all the fun stuff that can happen when they do get disturbed; it ain't pretty, like that giant zit on your nose, dark haired girl in that chair over there. They have a very small, nonzero mass, just like your brains, and are very difficult to detect, like ninjas, or signs of intelligent life in this classroom.

"Neutrinos are created as a result of certain types of radioactive decay or nuclear reactions such as those that take place in the Sun, in nuclear reactors, or when cosmic rays hit atoms. There are three types, or "flavours", of neutrinos, like there are three basic flavors of ice cream: the vanilla electron neutrinos, the chololate muon neutrinos and Chunky Monkey tau neutrinos; each type also has a corresponding antiparticle, called antineutrinos. Electron neutrinos, or vanilneutrinos, are generated whenever protons change into neutrons, or the other way around, they sort of go both ways like my aunt Patti, the two forms of beta decay. Interactions involving neutrinos are mediated by the weak interaction betw--"

Farnsworth paused. The pause dragged out for a long moment, until, finally, it ended with what sounded like a long snore. The man seemed to have fallen asleep mid-lecture, but, with a bit of a cough, jerked himself back up again and continued.

"Now, quantum mechanics..."

This was going to go on for a good, long time. Thankfully, it could only go on for no more than an hour. But that hour would be one of the longest hours of these students lives. That, in itself, could potentially be a nice example of the base of what Farnsworth might be trying to get at, but, on the same token, not even Farnsworth knew what he was trying to get at, since he was making it up as he went along.

"...why you have still have monkeys and one of my ancestors was his own grandfather. Now." Farnsworth's arthritic hands pulled out a huge stack of papers. "Your homework for today. If you've been paying attention, it should be no trouble at all. There are some basic formulas to help you solve some equations. Only fifteen pages, should be a breeze! And I also expect all of you to have square the circle by next week; it's very important. Now, I'll need an assistant to help me pass them out. You there." His eyes went to the unfortunately preplanned Lindsay Weir. "You look like you're full of healthy organs and can't wait to get out of here to smoke another doobie. Pass these out, and I'll let you use the extras to roll up your joints."

[[ OCD is ~~on the way~~ doubling the cube; have at it! ]]

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In the name of SCIENCE!!!!

It's a doozy. Has it succeeded making you hate your life simply because you've got to sit through this class yet? Has it? Huh?

And, of course, if there are any questions, now would be the time.

Edited 2010-07-06 10:20 (UTC)

There is actually a little bit of time left at the end of class. No, Farnsworth is not letting you leave early. Yes, you have to work on homework. Neener neener.

Errr, why?

Either way, he's there, if you do. You're in this class, so already you're crazyflakes.

Oh my stars, I just made a first class without introductions!

I feel like such a rebel, but, seriously, Farnsworth doesn't care who you are.

Laughing so hard. Farnsworth forever!

Lindsay Weir

Lindsay listened to the lecture, both hating her life and feeling oddly singled out. Mostly, she just kind of wanted to hide under her desk.

After awkwardly passing out the papers to the other students, Lindsay settled down to start working on the equations. There were so many! Even she thought this was excessive, and she actually liked math.

Dana Scully

Scully was feeling both startled and oddly nostalgic. Usually you didn't see this level of insult until grad school; but like everything else in this school, it just had to start early.

The equations made her happy, though. ~~The big geek.~~

Scully was having an identity crisis. How much would even a smart teenager know of this? How much would they like it? How much did she actually remember of it herself? Had she forgotten science, or had they discovered new science she hadn't heard of yet, or was Professor Farnsworth Just That Weird?

Concentrating on the numbers was the only thing keeping her from knocking her head into her desk.

No lie, I didn't realize how much I missed Farnsworth until he arrived at FH and Comedy Central started airing new Futurama episodes. I HAVE MISSED THAT SHOW AND THE CHARACTERS.

D'awwww, shucks.

sdfksdlkfsdhfskldhfsldfhsldfs, CURSE YOU AND REMINDING ME OF MY CABLE-LESS FATE!!!!

Hey hey hey, I have no cable either! I get them...other ways.

This is where I point out the no home internet, either.

And the always forgetting to access those...other ways when I'm taking over a corner of a coffee shop for five hours.

Griffin O'Conner

Griff managed to stay awake a lot longer than anyone listening to the lecture might have expected. This didn't mean his eyes weren't glazed over while he stared at the professor and let his mind wander.

He was so going to need coffee for next week.

Homework in a Fandom class? Okay, maybe Griff should've stayed away for the lecture part. He paged through his packet and actually looked a little thrilled to get to use a pencil in a class.

Claudia Donovan

Claudia was totally taking notes. And thinking next week she needed a tape recorder. Not just for the quantum mechanics -- yeah, she was actually rather fascinated by those bits -- but for all the randomness and tangents. It totally needed to be recorded for posterity.

Claudia was periodically flipping her own notebook open to check to see if any of the formulas looked like they might work with her own research project.

So far, the answer was "no".

Kitty Pryde

Kitty started taking notes. Unfortunately for her, once he got into the Chunky Monkey neutrinos she was just left staring, wondering what was going to come next. For the whole lecture.

As much as Kitty longed for normal classwork here that might get her into college... fifteen pages of equations? It wasn't that she couldn't do them, but that wasn't the point!

Spock

Spock took notes, but was having difficulty separating out the actual science from the nonsense he was increasingly sure was peppering this lecture.

The fifteen pages of equations seemed straightforward enough; however, Spock was concerned by the request that they square the circle. It did not seem logical to assign the class an impossible task.

Joolushko Tunai Fenta Hovalis

It hadn't made Joolushko hate her life. The lecture had confused her though. But keeping up with it and trying to identify what information might have been useful and accurate amongst all the other bits was a challenge and she did enjoy an academic challenge.

Actual equations? Well, this was different. And excessive considering that her other workshops were unlikely to assign this much combined. Ah well. Again, an academic challenge was usually an enjoyable one. Usually.

Kurt Wagner

Kurt took notes. LOTS of notes.

Because he didn't understand one bit of ANYTHING the man was saying, so all of it went down on his paper, on the off-chance that he could look at it later and make some sense out of it.

Kurt stared at the handouts in despair.

Jaime Reyes

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 07/06 ].

Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

Work on the Homework -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 07/06.

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