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fandomhigh2010-06-18 12:25 pm
saltandammo.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-06-18 12:25 pm
Entry tags:
Dating, Hooking Up and Sex, Class 6, Friday period 3
Dean had taken one look at the yak who was bitch facing at him from the back of the class and fell down laughing. He knew exactly who it was -- he'd recognize those emo bangs anywhere and no one could bitch face like his little brother, no matter what form he was wearing.
Once he got himself back under control, Dean began today's lecture. "So today we're looking at complications that can come up in the pursuit of dating and/or sex. Specifically the kinds of weird complications that happen in Fandom that don't happen anywhere else."
Dean grinned and pointed to the yak at the back of the room. "Sammy here is being a really good example of one of those complications. For some reason, people seem to randomly turn into animals around here. Which, in Sammy's case here, unless his boyfriend is into yak fucking, is seriously going to put a crimp into any romantic plans he had this weekend.
"There's also mental transformations to look out for -- you lose your memory or think you're someone else, and suddenly you're declaring your love for someone's two year old sister who has inexplicably become a teenager for the weekend.
"Things like gremlin bites or weird cookies can lead to mortifyingly embarrassing behaviour like breaking into song randomly and putting more product in your hair than should be humanly possible. Or to sleeping with someone you only think you know. Which can lead to complications like your girlfriend hitting you in the head with a frying pan. So avoid weird cookies. I'm just saying.
"And sometimes it's your normal sexlife that ends up feeling scarifying if the transformation that you are going through is extreme enough. I mean, when you suddenly find yourself a 12 inch plastic doll version of yourself, a normal vibrator can seem less like a sex toy and more like some kind of weird bucking bronco ride.
"But no matter what it is, the trick is to just ride it out and try not to die of embarrassment afterwards. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things. Or be really good at repressing.
"Not all Fandom curveballs are bad though. Next week, we'll be looking at ones that can actually help your sex life.
"And speaking of sextoys, like we were a moment ago, I haven't forgot about your assignment. I want to see and hear what y'all came up with." He pointed randomly at someone. "You go first."
Once he got himself back under control, Dean began today's lecture. "So today we're looking at complications that can come up in the pursuit of dating and/or sex. Specifically the kinds of weird complications that happen in Fandom that don't happen anywhere else."
Dean grinned and pointed to the yak at the back of the room. "Sammy here is being a really good example of one of those complications. For some reason, people seem to randomly turn into animals around here. Which, in Sammy's case here, unless his boyfriend is into yak fucking, is seriously going to put a crimp into any romantic plans he had this weekend.
"There's also mental transformations to look out for -- you lose your memory or think you're someone else, and suddenly you're declaring your love for someone's two year old sister who has inexplicably become a teenager for the weekend.
"Things like gremlin bites or weird cookies can lead to mortifyingly embarrassing behaviour like breaking into song randomly and putting more product in your hair than should be humanly possible. Or to sleeping with someone you only think you know. Which can lead to complications like your girlfriend hitting you in the head with a frying pan. So avoid weird cookies. I'm just saying.
"And sometimes it's your normal sexlife that ends up feeling scarifying if the transformation that you are going through is extreme enough. I mean, when you suddenly find yourself a 12 inch plastic doll version of yourself, a normal vibrator can seem less like a sex toy and more like some kind of weird bucking bronco ride.
"But no matter what it is, the trick is to just ride it out and try not to die of embarrassment afterwards. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things. Or be really good at repressing.
"Not all Fandom curveballs are bad though. Next week, we'll be looking at ones that can actually help your sex life.
"And speaking of sextoys, like we were a moment ago, I haven't forgot about your assignment. I want to see and hear what y'all came up with." He pointed randomly at someone. "You go first."
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Talk to Dean
Probably. If he's not laughing too hard at his brother the yak.
OOC
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steal her mother's hairwear overly-complicated hairstyles like a princess).So today she was very much overdressed in a formal gown and suitable hairstyle. And listening in dismay to Dean and wondering just how she'd ended up here.
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This was clearly all the work of an angry, magical god.
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And non-weirdness-influenced Chuck hadn't been able to face going into a sex-related shop, so he presented a tub of Nutella he'd grabbed from Turtle and Canary "And chocolate is always a hit with girls, isn't it?" It was bought!
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handwavilypicked up this morning. "Isn't it ADORABLE?!?!" he asked, with a grin. "And sexy!"He also pulled out a few long, thin strips of leather that had been cut from the sides of one of his pairs of very expensive black leather pants. "And I can think of all KINDS of things to do with these!!!" he added cheerfully.
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But Sam as a yak? Classic.
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Scully was going to be doing a great deal of facepalming on Monday about her attitude.
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He was just going to sit here, not make eye contact, and blush.
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"I...I brought..." He sat up and started to say, but the world would never know what he brought. After one more stuttered, "I..." he jumped up from his desk, shouted, "I just remembered I left them in my other pants! In Mississippi! Be right back!" and fled from the room.
...He wouldn't be right back.
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"I, uh... So, there are these flavored body paints?" He smiled a little, awkwardly, holding up a package that he'd bought for the sake of the class. "They're just as much for painting on as they are for cleaning off." A beat. "I like the cherry one."
... This was going well.
"And Chuck already did the feather thing, so it's probably for the best that I found something else," he added, trying to go for a hint of levity. And mostly just looking more awkward. This was going well, really. "Strawberries. Which probably makes me just look like I'm really hungry right now, I know, but feeding another person can be... pretty satisfying."
He hoped.
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"Uh, so, for a homemade toy, I found something that can inspire creativity and can be used almost anywhere." He set the massage oils aside and took out his laptop. He opened it up and showed off www.google.com. "If your, ah, love life is dull, just turn off 'safe search' and put something in the search bar. You'll discover new activities you didn't know were physically possible. Although. Um. Be prepared for some very strange options."
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