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fandomhigh2010-03-10 12:52 pm
carpe_demon) wrote in fandomhigh2010-03-10 12:52 pm
Entry tags:
Love & Romance, Hollywood Style [Period 4, Class 9]
Drake...may have had a personal interest in the lecture for today.
"Today we're going to talk about how the course of true love doesn't always run smoothly," he said as class began. "Often because of...the jackass, someone who stands in the way of love until you get a bulldozer and mow him or her down. For an example, here's Clash of the Titans." He snapped his fingers to start playing some clips.
"OK, so the king of Argos, Acrisius, learns of a prophecy that he'll die if his daughter, Danaë, has a son. So he locks her up rather than teaching her the finer points of birth control. Despite this, she catches Zeus's eye, and he drops into her lap in a shower of gold and knocks her up, because the Greek gods have really kinky sex games." He paused. "I'm not sure if Aphrodite will agree or disagree with that, actually.
"So Acrisius decides to off his daughter and her newborn son, which pisses off Zeus, who orders Poseidon to...wait for it, wait for it...RELEASE THE KRAKEN. Argos gets destroyed, and Danaë and baby Perseus end up safely in Seriphos. But that's just the beginning of the story. So there's this jackass, Calibos, who likes to hunt and kill animals, including those sacred to Zeus. Calibos didn't study his history so he apparently doesn't realize that pissing off Zeus is a bad plan, but instead of getting Kraken on his ass, Zeus turns Calibos into a monster. But Calibos's mom is a goddess, Thetis, who gets upset because her son was supposed to marry the Princess Andromeda, so she decrees if Calibos can't marry her, no man shall. She sets up a bunch of tests to deter anyone from winning Andromeda's hand, but a grown-up Perseus manages to pass all of them because he totes has the hots for Andromeda and the gods on his side. Fortunately, Andromeda likes Persesus, too, but their marriage gets interrupted when Andie's mom, Cassiopeia, compares her beauty to Thetis herself. See cranky gods, above. So now Perseus has to do a bunch more stuff to be able to save Andromeda from THE KRAKEN. And along the way he has to deal with Calibos, who is all grr argh Andromeda is mine, never mind that she thinks he's a jackass. And hero that he is, Perseus kicks Calibos's ass and saves the princess.
"So what's the point of this lecture? Sometimes a jackass will stand in the way of love, but you can't let them stop you. They're going to throw obstacles in your path, like wealth and power and social status and icebergs, but love is worth fighting for, and don't let the bastards get you down. Love who you want, and don't let anyone tell you differently, unless they've filed a restraining order, and then you might want to reconsider."
"Today we're going to talk about how the course of true love doesn't always run smoothly," he said as class began. "Often because of...the jackass, someone who stands in the way of love until you get a bulldozer and mow him or her down. For an example, here's Clash of the Titans." He snapped his fingers to start playing some clips.
"OK, so the king of Argos, Acrisius, learns of a prophecy that he'll die if his daughter, Danaë, has a son. So he locks her up rather than teaching her the finer points of birth control. Despite this, she catches Zeus's eye, and he drops into her lap in a shower of gold and knocks her up, because the Greek gods have really kinky sex games." He paused. "I'm not sure if Aphrodite will agree or disagree with that, actually.
"So Acrisius decides to off his daughter and her newborn son, which pisses off Zeus, who orders Poseidon to...wait for it, wait for it...RELEASE THE KRAKEN. Argos gets destroyed, and Danaë and baby Perseus end up safely in Seriphos. But that's just the beginning of the story. So there's this jackass, Calibos, who likes to hunt and kill animals, including those sacred to Zeus. Calibos didn't study his history so he apparently doesn't realize that pissing off Zeus is a bad plan, but instead of getting Kraken on his ass, Zeus turns Calibos into a monster. But Calibos's mom is a goddess, Thetis, who gets upset because her son was supposed to marry the Princess Andromeda, so she decrees if Calibos can't marry her, no man shall. She sets up a bunch of tests to deter anyone from winning Andromeda's hand, but a grown-up Perseus manages to pass all of them because he totes has the hots for Andromeda and the gods on his side. Fortunately, Andromeda likes Persesus, too, but their marriage gets interrupted when Andie's mom, Cassiopeia, compares her beauty to Thetis herself. See cranky gods, above. So now Perseus has to do a bunch more stuff to be able to save Andromeda from THE KRAKEN. And along the way he has to deal with Calibos, who is all grr argh Andromeda is mine, never mind that she thinks he's a jackass. And hero that he is, Perseus kicks Calibos's ass and saves the princess.
"So what's the point of this lecture? Sometimes a jackass will stand in the way of love, but you can't let them stop you. They're going to throw obstacles in your path, like wealth and power and social status and icebergs, but love is worth fighting for, and don't let the bastards get you down. Love who you want, and don't let anyone tell you differently, unless they've filed a restraining order, and then you might want to reconsider."