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fandomhigh2010-01-21 11:34 pm
samnotmax.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-01-21 11:34 pm
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Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition - Week Three
This week, the anthropomorphic six-foot-tall dog and the small feral lagomorph were going to teach the class. Which was in no way a horrible, terrible idea that was going to end in bloodshed and/or tragedy.
Sam and Max stood at the front of the room, patiently waiting for the students to arrive and sit down. They had note cards and everything. On the blackboard, they had written:
Violence in Police Work: When Is It Appropriate?
"Welcome, junior detectives!" Sam said, clasping his hands together excitedly. "Max and I are just thrilled to see the future of law enforcement as represented by your bright, shining faces. The cops of tomorrow have all sorts of challenges ahead of them. Probably solving crimes that involve hovercrafts! Won't that be something, kids?"
"I like hovercrafts!" Max announced. "I like to fill them with electric eels and then set them on fire! But only when I'm NOT on duty, because I'm a paragon of responsible law enforcement."
"Of course," Sam said brightly. "We take our duties very seriously. Kids, your friend Mr. Gibbs has asked us to come in here today and talk about a topic that is very close to my heart. And that topic is ..." He gestured towards the blackboard as if it held the key to the secrets of the universe. "Violence In Police Work. When Is It Appropriate?"
Max turned to Sam and, very obviously reading off his note cards in a stilted sort of manner, asked "Hey, Sam? I was wondering: violence in police work: when is it appropriate?"
"I'm glad you asked, Max!" Sam was not any better at sounding natural than Max was. "The answer may surprise you. Can anyone guess?"
Max jumped up and down and waved his cute, fuzzy little hand. "OOH! OOH! Pick me! PICK ME!!!!"
"Yes, Max?" Sam was totally surprised to be picking Max for the answer. This wasn't at all on their cue cards or anything.
Max grinned. He didn't need the cue cards for this part. "Violence is ALWAYS appropriate in police work!!! There's never NOT a good time to get violent."
"That's right!" Sam tossed his cards over one shoulderl. "Kids, violence is a great addition to any law enforcement agency. Nothing gets a lawbreaker's attention like firing wildly a few inches above his head!"
"Or, a few inches BELOW his head," Max added.
"Whatever works," Sam agreed. "Violence is a wonderful motivator. If your suspect is in enough pain, he'll agree to just about anything. Talk about an easy confession!"
Max nodded. "Just remember, folks, everyone is guilty of SOMETHING. It might as well be whatever it is you arrested them for."
Sam and Max stood at the front of the room, patiently waiting for the students to arrive and sit down. They had note cards and everything. On the blackboard, they had written:
"Welcome, junior detectives!" Sam said, clasping his hands together excitedly. "Max and I are just thrilled to see the future of law enforcement as represented by your bright, shining faces. The cops of tomorrow have all sorts of challenges ahead of them. Probably solving crimes that involve hovercrafts! Won't that be something, kids?"
"I like hovercrafts!" Max announced. "I like to fill them with electric eels and then set them on fire! But only when I'm NOT on duty, because I'm a paragon of responsible law enforcement."
"Of course," Sam said brightly. "We take our duties very seriously. Kids, your friend Mr. Gibbs has asked us to come in here today and talk about a topic that is very close to my heart. And that topic is ..." He gestured towards the blackboard as if it held the key to the secrets of the universe. "Violence In Police Work. When Is It Appropriate?"
Max turned to Sam and, very obviously reading off his note cards in a stilted sort of manner, asked "Hey, Sam? I was wondering: violence in police work: when is it appropriate?"
"I'm glad you asked, Max!" Sam was not any better at sounding natural than Max was. "The answer may surprise you. Can anyone guess?"
Max jumped up and down and waved his cute, fuzzy little hand. "OOH! OOH! Pick me! PICK ME!!!!"
"Yes, Max?" Sam was totally surprised to be picking Max for the answer. This wasn't at all on their cue cards or anything.
Max grinned. He didn't need the cue cards for this part. "Violence is ALWAYS appropriate in police work!!! There's never NOT a good time to get violent."
"That's right!" Sam tossed his cards over one shoulderl. "Kids, violence is a great addition to any law enforcement agency. Nothing gets a lawbreaker's attention like firing wildly a few inches above his head!"
"Or, a few inches BELOW his head," Max added.
"Whatever works," Sam agreed. "Violence is a wonderful motivator. If your suspect is in enough pain, he'll agree to just about anything. Talk about an easy confession!"
Max nodded. "Just remember, folks, everyone is guilty of SOMETHING. It might as well be whatever it is you arrested them for."
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