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fandomhigh2009-07-12 10:46 pm
suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-07-12 10:46 pm
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How to be Awesome | Week 2 | Period 6 | Mon. 7/13
Today, class was meeting in the computer lab as they had been handwavily instructed. "So, I see most of you managed to come back," Barney said, taking his place at the front of the room and starting up his PowerPoint presentation. Oh yes, visual aids were necessary this week.
"Today we're talking about how to awesomely deliver bad news. I know, it doesn't seem like something you should have to worry yourself with, and it's true that news should just be blurted out, ripped off like a sticky band-aid, or screamed from the rooftops. Of course, in all those situations, you - the bearer of said news - are left to deal with the other person's reaction." This was obviously the distasteful part for Barney as he eyerolled before continuing.
"Wouldn't it be great if we could just Awesomely distract people from caring?" He clicked the remote and showed the words I banged your mom on the screen. "Rough news for the BFF to take, am I right? But oh, look!" The screen shimmered to include a lovely photo of girls kissing above the same block print phrase. "Two lesbians making out! Everything's instantly better, right?" Of course it was.
"Let's see another example." The words Grandma's dead popped up on the screen next. "Woe, that'd be a real tearjerker for my friend Marshall!" Barney sniffed dramatically. "At least until..." A picture of two adorable golden retriever puppies playing in a wagon and gnawing on a pumpkin flashed up above the words. "Let's cue the awws from the saps in the audience. Oh yes, Eriksen would join you, smiling through his giant, girlish tears. Let's pause for the mental image." Which Barney did, counting to five in his head.
"So! What you're doing today is taking your assigned bad news and searching the internet for something to make it instantly better! Naturally, that means different things to different people, like in the case of Marshall versus a real man, so keep your recipient in mind while you make your selection. Oh, and if any of you don't know what a computer is, make one of the TAs help you. That is why they exist."
Alex Karev - I blew your 401K on drugs and whores.
Bobby Drake - There is no Santa Claus.
Chuck Bass - I screwed your mom and your girlfriend. At the same time.
Claudia Kishi - I used to be a man.
Effy Stonem - Sometimes I pay for sex.
Elena - Your baby is ugly.
Eva Rodriguez - It's only sunny because there's a hole in the ozone layer.
Fiona Post - I'm into weird shit.
Griffin O'Conner - You're bad in bed.
Harper Finkle - Your toupee isn't fooling anyone.
Hurley Reyes - You don't matter.
Jack Burton - The condom broke.
Jo Harvelle - I'm a meth addict. Can I borrow 40 bucks?
Layla Miller - You're the father.
Leto Atreides - You're bad in bed.
Priestly - Mom blew your college fund on crystal meth.
Prince Edward - I'm a registered sex offender.
Sam Winchester - It's cancer.
Sam Witwicky - The meteor cannot be stopped.
Wendy Watson - We have to amputate.
Yakko Warner - You have B.O.
[ Course Information | Roster ]
"Today we're talking about how to awesomely deliver bad news. I know, it doesn't seem like something you should have to worry yourself with, and it's true that news should just be blurted out, ripped off like a sticky band-aid, or screamed from the rooftops. Of course, in all those situations, you - the bearer of said news - are left to deal with the other person's reaction." This was obviously the distasteful part for Barney as he eyerolled before continuing.
"Wouldn't it be great if we could just Awesomely distract people from caring?" He clicked the remote and showed the words I banged your mom on the screen. "Rough news for the BFF to take, am I right? But oh, look!" The screen shimmered to include a lovely photo of girls kissing above the same block print phrase. "Two lesbians making out! Everything's instantly better, right?" Of course it was.
"Let's see another example." The words Grandma's dead popped up on the screen next. "Woe, that'd be a real tearjerker for my friend Marshall!" Barney sniffed dramatically. "At least until..." A picture of two adorable golden retriever puppies playing in a wagon and gnawing on a pumpkin flashed up above the words. "Let's cue the awws from the saps in the audience. Oh yes, Eriksen would join you, smiling through his giant, girlish tears. Let's pause for the mental image." Which Barney did, counting to five in his head.
"So! What you're doing today is taking your assigned bad news and searching the internet for something to make it instantly better! Naturally, that means different things to different people, like in the case of Marshall versus a real man, so keep your recipient in mind while you make your selection. Oh, and if any of you don't know what a computer is, make one of the TAs help you. That is why they exist."
Alex Karev - I blew your 401K on drugs and whores.
Bobby Drake - There is no Santa Claus.
Chuck Bass - I screwed your mom and your girlfriend. At the same time.
Claudia Kishi - I used to be a man.
Effy Stonem - Sometimes I pay for sex.
Elena - Your baby is ugly.
Eva Rodriguez - It's only sunny because there's a hole in the ozone layer.
Fiona Post - I'm into weird shit.
Griffin O'Conner - You're bad in bed.
Harper Finkle - Your toupee isn't fooling anyone.
Hurley Reyes - You don't matter.
Jack Burton - The condom broke.
Jo Harvelle - I'm a meth addict. Can I borrow 40 bucks?
Layla Miller - You're the father.
Leto Atreides - You're bad in bed.
Priestly - Mom blew your college fund on crystal meth.
Prince Edward - I'm a registered sex offender.
Sam Winchester - It's cancer.
Sam Witwicky - The meteor cannot be stopped.
Wendy Watson - We have to amputate.
Yakko Warner - You have B.O.
[ Course Information | Roster ]