Library, Monday

[intotheout]

It was Tip's first library shift of the new year, and she was spending it on her phone, looking at coverage of last night's Golden Globes.

Or to be more specific, watching Oprah Winfrey's speech on repeat.

There were lots of other little clips and bits that were worth seeing, especially all the women wearing black and Natalie Portman calling out the all-male best directors category, but Tip was pretty sure no one would be surprised that she liked Oprah's speech the best.

[open!]

Cooking for the Disinterested, Monday

[stickitupmyjinx]

There was a pile of Red Baron frozen pizzas at the front of the class today. Which meant there was probably a time limit on how long they could talk before those things thawed and everything was terrible.

Or more terrible. Either or.

"So, today we're gonna show you how to make a cheap pizza better. Or sate your cravings for the worst things because you're drunk or on some other mind altering substance," Deadpool said.

"But you're teenagers so hopefully that only happens, like, once a week. Twice at most," Vanessa said. "Anyway, it's simple. You just put extra stuff on top of the pizza before you put it in the oven. That way, you can customize it to your tastes. I put chocolate chips on a pizza once because I had PMS, and it was actually not that bad."

"It can be anything your little hearts desire," Deadpool added. "Leftover Chinese. Flamming Hot Cheetos... god, we need to make those again, babe."

He was hankering for some violently red pain.

"Oooh, yes. We've got a bunch of ingredients we picked up at the convenience store while high--uh, on life!--so just do whatever you feel like. Think of it as art. Art you have to eat at least one bite of and tell us about."

"I dare you little shits to put Spam on it." Deadpool, no. "Deadpool, yes."

"Get to work!" Vanessa said cheerfully. "These pizzas won't stay frozen forever!" And might God have mercy on your souls.