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fandomhigh2007-09-14 07:06 am
whatever-sucks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2007-09-14 07:06 am
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Interdisciplinary Studies, Class 2, Friday, Period 1
"All right, kids," Squall said, as he tossed the sign-in clipboard in their direction. "Today we're going to actually learn something useful. But first--"
He produced a bag from behind his desk, reached into it, and pulled out a single-serving-size packed of Fig Newtons. "Turns out, the guy in THIS universe who invented all the stuff I'm about to tell you was named after these cookies. Or whatever." He shrugged. "Hey, I was in the store, okay? And they're good." He chucked a few packets hard at each student, and then lobbed a few in high arcs over the class. "You see the shape they make when they travel? That's a parabola. Because of a constant downward force. Write that down."
"So, today we're going to learn some of the basic principles on which the universe works. Except not really."
Squall fixed the class with a level gaze.
"What I'm about to tell you is a lie. A useful lie. In fact, it's so close to the truth that you'll never be able to measure how wrong it is." He shrugged. "Unless you're travelling really, really fast. Or you're dealing with things that are really, really small. Still, this isn't actually the way the universe works, just a close approximation. I'm not going to tell you the REAL equations, because they're complicated and don't make any sense."
"So. First. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If I push on the wall, the wall pushes on me."
"Second. 'An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends'... whatever. Things don't move unless you push 'em. Got that?"
"And third." He wrote "F = ma" on the board. "That's the big one. Force equals mass times acceleration. When you apply a force to something it accelerates. And when you understand that equation, you unlock all kinds of secrets of the universe. Or whatever." He pulled out a stack of papers that looked remarkably like they had been photocopied out of a physics textbook. "And my notes say I got those in the wrong order. So... Ah, who cares."
The next 15 minutes that followed were just Squall copying things off the papers onto the board. Lots of math was involved, and little explanation.
"Okay, so. Now we're going outside. I've got water balloon launchers and water balloons. Get into groups of three and try to shoot the balloons as far as you can. Experiment with different angles and see what angle gives you the best distance -- if you were following the lecture, you should already know." No, you shouldn't. "Don't aim at each other, or at any buildings, while I'm looking at you."
He produced a bag from behind his desk, reached into it, and pulled out a single-serving-size packed of Fig Newtons. "Turns out, the guy in THIS universe who invented all the stuff I'm about to tell you was named after these cookies. Or whatever." He shrugged. "Hey, I was in the store, okay? And they're good." He chucked a few packets hard at each student, and then lobbed a few in high arcs over the class. "You see the shape they make when they travel? That's a parabola. Because of a constant downward force. Write that down."
"So, today we're going to learn some of the basic principles on which the universe works. Except not really."
Squall fixed the class with a level gaze.
"What I'm about to tell you is a lie. A useful lie. In fact, it's so close to the truth that you'll never be able to measure how wrong it is." He shrugged. "Unless you're travelling really, really fast. Or you're dealing with things that are really, really small. Still, this isn't actually the way the universe works, just a close approximation. I'm not going to tell you the REAL equations, because they're complicated and don't make any sense."
"So. First. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If I push on the wall, the wall pushes on me."
"Second. 'An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends'... whatever. Things don't move unless you push 'em. Got that?"
"And third." He wrote "F = ma" on the board. "That's the big one. Force equals mass times acceleration. When you apply a force to something it accelerates. And when you understand that equation, you unlock all kinds of secrets of the universe. Or whatever." He pulled out a stack of papers that looked remarkably like they had been photocopied out of a physics textbook. "And my notes say I got those in the wrong order. So... Ah, who cares."
The next 15 minutes that followed were just Squall copying things off the papers onto the board. Lots of math was involved, and little explanation.
"Okay, so. Now we're going outside. I've got water balloon launchers and water balloons. Get into groups of three and try to shoot the balloons as far as you can. Experiment with different angles and see what angle gives you the best distance -- if you were following the lecture, you should already know." No, you shouldn't. "Don't aim at each other, or at any buildings, while I'm looking at you."
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