fandomhigh | Week Two - Journalism Homework

Week Two - Journalism Homework - Due Midnight 9/30/05

Journalism Students - Attention.

You have till midnight next Wednesday to get these submitted - just add them to the comments here. If you want to be certain of the requirements for each course, they can be found here. This entry is listed on my info page, so you can find it again whenever you need to.

Journalism 101
100 words on your perceived outcome of the current student elections. Be as fanciful as you please.

Journalism 201
150 words on any of the current candidates for school office. Slant it however you please.

Journalism 301
200 words on one of the current candidates for school office - WITHOUT taking a personal stand pro or con.

Advanced Journalism
100 riveting, truthful words on a topic you'd like to see addressed in the student elections.

Combat Journalism
100-150 words in a slanted article on political mud-slinging/ballot-box stuffing/other electoral shenanigans. Pro or Con is your choice – the object is to stir up a heated reaction.

Photojournalism

One clear picture of each of the candidates for student office. All should be 200x200 pixels and clearly labeled.

Please be sure to put which course your response is for in the subject line of your comment for easier grading. This post and all other homework posts will be added to the memories section of my journal so that you can find it again to post when your homework is complete. On Thursday morning of next week I’ll post a reminder and a link back to this entry.

Edit: For the benefit of my students, this helpful list of student gov't hopefuls courtesy of

dbiers

This week's homework will be publicly posted as things to think about as Student Elections roll around. Feel free to accept bribes from any candidates and report them with your homework for extra credit. Any actual interviews also receive extra credit but do not count toward your homework assignment.

P.S. Georgia, illness or no, you still owe me 100 words as to why I'm a fucking bastard.

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From her prone position on the couch, George hears Outlook ping at her. With a very stuffy-sounding groan he pushes herself up and stumbles towards the computer.

"Shit." she mutters darkly upon reading Professor Jerusalem's message. "I guess I'm not going to be able to weasel my way out of this one."

She selects Word from the Start menu and begins to write...

Why Professor Spider Jerusalem Is A Fucking Bastard: An Essay by GEORGE Lass

Throughout the ages, children and young adults alike have been subjected to the torture of school. The primary reason school is such a torturous experience is that it's populated with bastard teachers. Some teachers are more bastard-like than others. Professor Spider Jerusalem, a teacher at Fandom High in Alexandria, VA, is not only a bastard -- he is a Fucking Bastard.

The first example I give in support of this theory is the fact that he smokes tobacco in class. As in constantly. I know it's hard for some people to comprehend, but there is a vast majority of the student population that doesn't smoke. In fact, some of us are deathly allergic to smoke, yet the good Professor continually subjects his poor, helpless students to clouds of poisonous second-hand fumes. *

Secondly, the Professor gives every appearance of an alcoholic. Upon arriving on my first (and admittedly only) day of class, Mr. Jerusalem was passed out on his desk. Another student had to forcibly wake him. He then very grudgingly began to lecture the class in the most condescending and nasty way possible. It is my suggestion that he is unfit to teach in such a state, and that he's a Fucking Bastard for subjecting the student body to his ill humors and personal problems. He is a horrible example to the student body as a whole.

And now for my last point: The Professor insists upon calling me by my given name, Georgia, when I have repeatedly stated that I much prefer to be addressed as George. Wrinkled old women who wear red-and-purple hats and meet every week for breakfast at the Cracker Barrel are called Georgia. Georgia is a southern state where a good part its population slaps the stars-n-bars on the bumper of their pickup trucks and ignores the fact that the Confederacy did, indeed, fall. I am neither one of these things. My name is George. GEE EEE OHH ARR GEE EEE.

So as you can see, Professor Spider Jerusalem is a Fucking Bastard. He smokes without care of other people's heath; he sets a bad example for the students with his blatant substance abuse; and he is obviously careless of his student's feelings. I hope you have enjoyed my essay, and have found it very informative.

*Professor J -- I have attached some autopsy photographs of people who've abused various forms of tobacco. Thought you might find them interesting.

George allows herself a twisted grin as she clicks on the "Send" button in her Outlook. As she pushes herself upright and makes her way back to the couch, she wonders just how far over the line she's stepped, and how many days of detention she can look forward to.

"Oh, well." she sighs, blowing about a gallon of snot into her fistful of Kleenex. "Detention can't be that bad. Anything's better than class."

[ooc - character is lazy; however, player is anal-retentive. Assume this is actually turned in the day before it's due...]

Life will go on like before, only we'll have new people to complain about: same shit, different day. Student elections will be swept by the people who always sweep student elections: the rich kids, the hot kids, the evil and hot kids, the rich and hot kids, the evil hot rich kids, and the token well-meaning nerd. The evil kids ~~who are frankly all hot, the assholes~~ will do a bunch of evil stuff-- which they were already doing, but now it will be government-sanctioned evil. Which you'd think would bore them a little, given how breathtakingly rare that isn't.

Journalism 301

Who is Lisa Cuddy?

Some of us have seen her working tirelessly in the clinic, picking up after Dr. House, chewing out one Max Fischer or distributing prophylactics to students in need.

But, is that all there is to Lisa Cuddy? For a few days now, rumblings have circulated throughout the school about Lisa’s reasons for running for class office. Is she secretly in love with Max Fischer and hoping this brings them closer? Probably not. Is she power hungry? Again, probably not. Is she the bastion of feminism many have looked for in this school? The new Gloria Allred or Florence Nightingale, coming down from the heavens for guidance and support?

The truth is no one really knows why Lisa Cuddy is running and what type of student government she will implement should she win the election. She’s an enigma with dark hair and a sharp mouth. Her name was thrown into the hat quickly and without warning, leaving us all wondering what her ultimate goal was.

We will learn more about Miss Cuddy in the weeks to come. As we learn, the students will decide if she is capable of the leadership skills she boasts.

Time will tell.

Like most elections around the world, this one will not reflect the feeling of the overall student body but merely reflect which student is the most popular with the biggest bankroll behind their campaign. While the student elections are a chance to bring the student body together and encourage intermingling among the various species here at Fandom High, the results will do nothing but solitify the underlying tensions of good and evil here at Fandom High. I for one, am look forward to it. This reporter hopes to see a lot of mudslinging, trash campaigning all over the halls. I would tell you the results of the campaign, but wouldn't it be more fun to wait?

(ooc: those photo takers are going to have a hell of a time finding a [quite possibly nonexistent] picture of Jessica as a teenager. I suggest ransacking Google Images.)

Although I am running, I have chosen to write an article about Draco Malfoy:
As Draco Malfoy, one of our candidates for President, states: “I'd like to run for president. Political interest runs in my family, you know.” There have been some very quiet mutterings about his decision to run. Several of our students from his dimension who were familiar with him prior to enrollment at Fandom High do not appear to be overly fond of him, and it may be fairly argued that running solely because of family is not an appropriate platform on which to run.

On the other hand, Malfoy has not caused a great deal of havoc at Fandom since the term started, and this might in fact cause many to believe that, at the very least, he would do no harm, and that, at best, he may be good for the school. There is, of course, also the possible view that a little bit of political plotting will make life at our high school more interesting and excessively involved than it usually is. It is, in fact, quite possible that he will be voted into office solely for the purpose of a bit of mayhem. More than a few individuals residing in Fandom find chaos to be highly amusing.

I believe that Martin Blank will be elected as security officer. He has been the first, and so far, the only, candidate to use mass media advertising. Studies have repeatedly shown that candidates with the highest name recognition fare the best, and I, as an average student at Fandom High, could not name any other student running for public office.

Marty has also recieved recommendations from several professors and community members. As such, he has proven his political prowess in bartering with those in positions of power. He even convinced the police to endorse him after his night in jail.

What is being done so we can have better and more readily available coffee on campus?

Are any of our candidates working on this?

Because I, and many with me, sure would like to know. Perhaps each classroom can be outfitted with an espresso machine? Hourly deliveries from the Perkolator? Kill and bury who/whatever is in charge of the cantina coffee? (I bet it's that damn chicken.)

There must be many things that can be done, and I want to know how the candidates stand on this issue.

In conclusion: Better coffee on campus. What's being done?

Jake Gavin

Political mudslinging is a time-honored tradition amongst candidates running for nearly every election.

Why, then, are none of our candidates following through? Could it be that they're nice people, concerned with working in harmony for the greater good of the school, or are they perhaps just ignorant?

Here, at the very beginning of the candidates' campaign, we see everyone working diligently on campaign posters, some of which sport endorsements from various sponsors, but none of them carry any indication of why one particular candidate is better than another.

How is the student body to choose, when frequently all that's known is the name or face of the student running? No platforms have been announced, discussed, or debated. How is the student body to know what one candidate is for unless they're calling out something another candidate is against?

Perhaps, in the coming week, the candidates will get in line behind this ancient and respected institution. Perhaps the students will be given reason to choose one candidate over another, in humorous yet vitriolic words.

We shall wait and see.

Professor Jerusalem asks us what we believe the outcome will be of this year's student elections.

What he should ask is why any of us should give half a shit.

The student election process is nothing more than a masturbatory, Administration-endorsed popularity contest. Who has the biggest fucking mouth in school? Who makes the best posters? Who has the best slogans? Who promises to bring Starbucks vending machines to the dorms? Who do you want to be friends with so desperately that you'd vote for them hoping to win their friendship and approval? Who cares!?

The student government has no real authority and holds no sway over the school Administration. It's a sham, a figurehead organization formed in an attempt to appease the poor little children, to make them feel like they have some control over their tiny little lives. Whether the Administration will truly recognize the Student Government as vehicle for change in this school remains to be seen.

And I'm sorry, people, but you're smoking some Four Star Grade A crack if you think you'll see anything branded Starbucks (let alone Perkolator) within ten miles of this place. With soaring energy prices, doom-and-gloom winter weather forecasts for the East Coast, and rumored budget cuts looming over Fandom's school system, I doubt seriously that there will BE a Fandom High much longer.

If there is any truth to these rumors, I propose the cancellation of the Homecoming Dance. How much of the school's resources are being used to produce posters, decorations, and party favors? How much of a student's time is wasted contemplating who to vote for for the Homecoming Court when they should be concentrating on their homework? In such troubled times, decadence of this sort should be frowned upon, and sacrifices should be made to ensure every student -- not just the rich and popular ones in the proposed Student Government -- receives a good, balanced education.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Look to Principal Connor for answers.

*Hands in her homework (http://www.livejournal.com/users/dbiers/3145.html)*

Free elections should be nothing more than contests about who can wear orange and not look like some 1970’s clothing reject. Require the candidates, for one week, to wear Fiestaware orange and carry it off with dignity and style.

Award points for creative accessorizing; using flashy earrings, obnoxious wooden beads, and flouncey bows in their hair.

Using black to accent is cheating. Color accents would need to be restricted to the seven colors of the rainbow when trying to carry off the color orange in their wardrobe.

Because, who cares about their platform? People will vote for the prettiest anyway.

*hands in a page covered in blobs of colour that melt into each other in surprising ways*

*near the bottom is a comment:

*and beneath that:*

Beka Valentine is the only candidate running for the Academic Affairs position at Fandom High this fall. Through that role, she hopes to enhance teacher-student relationships and make things safer for all students.

The 17-year-old grew up mostly in the Andromeda Galaxy, about 3,500 years after the present day. Her world may not be so different from this one. “ I never thought of myself as the sort of person who'd want to hold an elected office. In my world, the only people who do that are corrupt,” she said.

That may have helped foster the protective streak that has lead to her choice to run for elected office. “If someone's in trouble, if I know them, I'll go to almost stupid lengths to help.

There are things that happen here, like the weapons ban, that worry me. Also, there are teachers who worry me. I have good relationships with a lot of the teachers, and I want to use those to help make things better and safer for the students,” she says.

In addition to her candidacy, Valentine’s other activities at the school include acting as an assistant to Sex Ed teacher Dawn and campaigning against the weapons ban.

[We're just going to pretend that Chloe turned this in before the treasure hunt. And while we're at it, we're going to pretend that this is even remotely factual and decent. *g*]

With the rise of a technology-centric culture across the world, the collective attention span of society is getting shorter every day. People only care about things that are new and exciting, and unfortunately, most brands of politics do not fall into either of these categories.

But as society has evolved, the elections process has started to take action to follow suit, leading to a much more interesting elections process. Each year, the mud-slinging gets worse as candidates dig deeper into the pasts of their opponents, digging up the finest dirt they can find. Nothing is sacred anymore. But each year, the number of people who go to the polls to vote increases.

Politics is no longer an arena for good-hearted men who want to change the world. But the world isn't like that anymore either, and if the job of politicians is to remain, it must match what society needs.

Like student elections everywhere, the students with the most backing, the most money, and the best campaign will be the ones to win. It doesn’t really matter if they’ll do a good job or not – some will and some won’t – but who’s in charge of their campaign and how popular they are.

Anyone who thinks differently is probably way too involved in it all. It’s just a student government, nothing that important. And unless whoever’s elected can do something about the zombies that attack the school, the weird gremlins, and this disgusting food in the cafeteria, it’s probably just a waste of effort anyway.

As a participant in this election, I personally would enjoy seeing more of my fellow candidates addressing the issue of student involvement in their government.

I continuously hear about how the majority of the student body perceives student politics as corrupt - nothing more than a popularity contest, and something for those who are elected to put on their college applications. While that is absolutely true in some cases, student government does have a much more significicant impact on the lives of every student in this school.

I would like to see more candidates confront the idea that they should take input from people who are not neccessarily involved in the government.

P.S. Would you be interested in giving an endorsement for my campaign, sir? Please?

(OOC: This is more than the required number of words and can be cut if the exact number was an issue for this assignment. It didn't appear to be.)

Yesterday afternoon, posters appeared on campus billboards promoting a relative unknown for the position of Academic Affairs Coordinator. One Jonathon Crane, the write-in candidate who proclaims himself best for the job because “he likes academics.”

Crane’s campaign platform includes broad promises to:

• bridge the gap between students and faculty
• listen to students and teachers alike

When approached, Crane will indicate that his primary concern in running for this position is a fair election. That is, he believes elections shouldn’t be popularity contests, and students should have a choice in all positions. At his last school, the student council elections turned on who liked whom, rather than who was best qualified for the job. He fears that may be the case at Fandom High as well.

Initially, he didn’t appear to think much of the opposition, suggesting that winning votes by promising sex was a dirty tactic. Crane is very concerned that qualifications be the issue in voter-choice. Yet he concedes that the so-called Parker slate has put together an effective marketing strategy. He doesn’t believe, however, that it will serve them in the end.

Even after talking to Crane, it’s difficult to pin down his positions on relevant issues. Effective communication and civil discourse are high on his list. Civility to the extent that he agreed to a pre-debate deal with the opposition that neither party will make sex an issue during the debates. This indicates a willingness to compromise and skill in potentially hostile negotiations.

He also shows a strong ability to empathize across gender and political lines. A compliment on the use of purple in his campaign posters led to polite conversation with the opposition about good and bad colors, wherein he declared that teal would bring out her eyes. He also agreed with her that wearing pink was enough to make a person want to kill his or herself.

Jonathon Crane: the candidate for Academic Affairs who likes academics, wants better communication, and hates pink.

Number 6 is a very interesting candidate. He seems to have a fear many thing, even the school itself sometimes. He also seems to, (only to the untrained eye?), be trying to escape Fandom High.
Considering the tentacle monsters, the scary lockers, the magic and mayhem that ensues every day here (and night mind you) I think he would make a very good President.
The more paraniod the better I see it.
He also doesn’t seem to be a mind reader, gun shooter, magic user or .. well… dead. To me all of these things lend points to why I should vote for him.
Apart from that, he seems to stand for freedom and individuality, general rightness in the world and happy puppies. Perhaps not the puppies, but they would help. Anyway, number six is everything the typical president should be. The question is do we want a typical president?

(ooc- sorry if this is late, I've been out of play)

Gaius Baltar, lately of Caprica, is the vice presidential candidate from the Batsh*t Crazy Party, one of three candidates for the office. At the debates, he's held his own against the other candidates with a platform dedicated to using the office as a vehicle for the addressing of student concerns and the equal treatment of all intelligent beings.

Intelligence is a particular topic of interest for Baltar, given his own background; the youngest winner of the Magnate Prize, the most distinguished award in the field of science on his home world, and the only three-time winner in existence, Baltar holds that intelligence is all that separates us from mere animals. Sentient machines seem to be a concern for Baltar, as he assured the room that those who are not traditionally considered to be members of society would enjoy equal consideration with humans and humanoid beings under his party's election. When this reporter asked if Baltar was speaking to them directly (given that at no time during this part of the interview was he addressed or even looked at), no answer was given save an assurance that we were at least included in the delivery.

When not twitching or staring into space, Baltar made sure that we knew his intelligence would be a profound contribution to the student council. This reporter has no doubt that there is little Baltar believes he can't do.

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Journalism 101 Homework

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Advanced Journalism: Issues

Combat Journalism

Journalism 101: Student Election Outcome

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Journalism 101

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Journalism 301 -- Profile of Beka Valentine

Combat Journalism: Political Shenanigans

Journalism 101

Advanced Journalism HW

Journalism 301: Jonathon Crane, write-in candidate for Academic Affairs

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Extra Credit - Newspaper Article