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Advanced Takeout, Monday, June 19,2017

Mon, 19 Jun 2017 16:25:48 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

"Today we're going to work on boiling water and not setting the place on fire," Steve began.

"That seriously only happened once," Tony muttered under his breath. "Instant ramen is a way that many college students survive. And starving artists. It's all salt and carbs. It's one of the easiest things to make according to some."

Which was debatable.

"I once watched Thor eat it raw out of the package," Steve said. "Don't be Thor."

But sometimes that was good! Like the blamdest chips in the world.

"Simple instructions," Tony said. "Boil water. Put the noodles in. Add the flavoring. Easy, right?"

"Do you drain the water first?" Steve asked.Steve was possibly overthinking ramen.

"What? No." This is what happened when JARVIS refused to stock the apartment with instant ramen to keep Tony from getting scurvy. "It's like a soup. A noodle filled soup."

"I was just asking for the students," Steve said, not entirely genuinely.

Tony hummed like he believed that. "So, we have some different flavors and some pots of water to try this out. If you get good, maybe try adding some vegetables."

Because you shouldn't subside on plain ramen, kids.

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Advanced Takeout, Monday, June 12, 2017

Mon, 12 Jun 2017 15:19:44 GMT

Posted by: imafuturist

"Today we're going to make a dish that's a lot harder than it seems like it should be," Steve began. "Microwave popcorn."

"Have you ever smelled burnt popcorn?" Tony asked, making such a face. "It's awful. Stinks up the room for hours. So, it's clearly a fine art."

Yes, the fine art of microwave cooking.

One that these two, despite being very smart, hadn't figured out. "The first thing to know is that the popcorn button on the microwave is not to be trusted," Steve said.

Tony nodded in full agreement. "It's a trick to ruin your entire evening. You have to stand there and wait for the moment the popping slow down and hope you times it right."

Or get distracted by something and come back to charred popcorn. Guess which happened a lot.

"You also have to make sure it wasn't just slowing down for a second and then speeding back up," Steve said. "Because then you just get a half-bag of popcorn and a lot of unpopped kernels."

Which was sad.

"And please remember this is for specifically microwave popcorn. The stovetop stuff isn't meant for this." Tony learned that after blowing up a microwave in college with Jiffy Pop. In his defense... he'd been sleep deprived.

Steve winced. "We've gone through a few microwaves," he admitted wryly.

"Today it's your turn," Tony said, clapping his hands together and smiling cheerfully. "If you succeed, you get popcorn."

"If you don't, you get drenched by the fire suppression systems," Steve said.

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Advanced Takeout, Monday, June 5, 2017

Mon, 05 Jun 2017 15:39:28 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Today the classroom had a little mock up of a drive thru window. Which might be giving away today's lesson, but no one said this would be a subtle class, okay?

"Welcome back," Tony said cheerfully. "Today we're moving onto the slightly more active version of getting food without cooking it yourself... the drive thru. Or walk thru on this island."

Seriously, the lack of cars continued to be weird.

"There are lots of different options," Steve said, "but they mostly seem to be based around hamburgers."

"And tacos," Tony added. "Chicken too. Um..."

Well, that sort of exhausted the options for the most part. "Oh, and coffee!"

Yeah, that being added in should surprise no one here.

"...there's drive-through coffee?" Steve replied. "Why?"

"It's for people who don't wake up at dawn to run marathons," Tony replied dryly. "We can do a field trip into the city to see one later."

"Sounds fun," Steve said. "Okay. For the rest of you. You have ten dollars to order lunch. Try not to make your order too complicated, okay?"

"And enjoy the free lunch. Breakfast? We'll call it brunch to be safe." Because who didn't want a greasy burger while in class?

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Advanced Takeout, May 26, 2017

Mon, 29 May 2017 15:51:00 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

This week there were both teachers in front of the class. Weren't you all lucky?

"Welcome back. Good to see you're all here for the holiday," Tony said. "Memorial Day, in case you don't know which one."

"Memorial Day is a day devoted to remembering those who have given their lives in service to our country," Steve said, "but it also serves as the unofficial start of summer in America, so people hold barbecues some times."

Not that Steve was planning to go to one. He was heading to Arlington after class.

Because sadness errands.

"Today we will tell you how to do one of these barbecues without needing to actually do the cooking," Tony said. "It involves a lot of side dishes you can get at the grocery store and hoping you have one friend who thinks they can grill."

Everyone had one.

"Barring that... cooking a hot dog is easy enough?" Mostly because they were already cooked.

Steve nodded. "Just...make sure you poke it before you put it in a microwave."

Steve and Tony should maybe just not cook with microwaves. "Salads are good--but any with mayonnaise if you're going to be eating outside because they go bad in the heat."

Clearly a charcoal grill would work better than a microwave for them!

"Fried chicken is good both hot and cold, so that's another thing you can pick up for these sort of parties," Tony added. "Pizza... less so. Sorry."

"And when you're running low on money, bringing ice is always a good thing," Steve added.

"And soda!" No encouraging drinking with the students here. "But, alright. Since this is a holidays of sorts, we won't keep you long. Everyone pick a side and... see if there is a party to take it to. Or make a party of your own."

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Advanced Takeout, Monday, May 22, 2017

Mon, 22 May 2017 13:55:55 GMT

Posted by: imafuturist

Class today was just the one teacher, but to make up for it, Tony looked pretty darn tired. What? That's not how that works?

Seems fake.

Either way, there was the one teacher and a few boxes of pizza.

"Hi," Tony greeted the class once they'd filed in. "Captain Rogers has other things to attend to today, so it'll just be me for this lesson. On the plus side, you get pizza."

Because that was easier for a crowd.

"Today will be about the short interaction you'll have with the delivery person," he said. "Who should be tipped unless there has genuinely bad service from them. Remember to always include a tip in your food budget, okay?"

He had strong feelings about fair pay.

Tony clapped his hands together. "Okay, we will run through one on one scenarios for you to figure out how to get through these interactions. And then pizza."

Which made up for the forced socialization.

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Advanced Takeout, Monday, May 15, 2017

Mon, 15 May 2017 14:58:48 GMT

Posted by: imafuturist

Steve...had no real concept of what time zone he was in right now. He was clinging to an enormous cup of coffee and dressed in his stealth suit. "Sometimes, you're hungry but are completely out of the will to cook and don't feel like leaving the comfort of your sofa," he began.

Tony somehow managed to be the bright-eyed and bushy tailed one of the pair today. Something was very wrong. "Or feel like talking to someone to get the food," he added. "Which means we'll be learning all about the wonder of online ordering."

He waved at the small collection of tablets for the students to pick up for this exercise.

"This is really one of the best things about living right now," Steve had to admit. "All kinds of food will just show up at your house."

"You will need money, though," Tony said quickly. "Cash or a credit card. Today will just be for practice, so these aren't live sites. Just some copies I dummied up for you guys."

Steve nodded. "Since food won't really show up, maybe pretend to explore a cuisine you haven't already tried. I like Thai."

"Next week we'll get you some real food," Tony promised. He'd have to put it in his calender to remember. "And practice the awkward delivery guy interaction that will become part of this whole process."

Please stop picturing either teacher as a pizza delivery boy.

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Advanced Takeout, Monday, May 8, 2017

Mon, 08 May 2017 15:06:01 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

For the first day of class, there was a nice selection of protein shakes or coffee for the students to grab before things started. Because they were starting on a high note. It was all down hill from here on out, kids.

"Hello, and welcome to Advanced Takeout," Tony said. "I'm Mr. Stark or Tony if you'd rather."

"And I'm Steve Rogers," Steve added. "Um, calling me Steve would be kind of strange. Welcome to Advanced Takeout. We know there are a couple other food-related classes this summer--this one is for people who can't cook."

Like them.

They only blew up one kitchen! On island. So far.

"Captain Rogers," Tony suggested to the class because Steve lacked the casual sweaters for 'Mr. Rogers' after all. "It's the first class, so things will be easy with letting us know your name and why you picked this class. You're in for a lot of this for the rest of the week. Sorry."

Steve grinned. "You can also tell us your biggest kitchen disaster. We blew up a microwave making apple pie a few months back."

Don't ask how. Just...don't.

"And I even have a doctorate in chemistry, so it can happen to anyone," Tony added cheerfully. Because it had been for science. Didn't you all feel better about yourselves?

"And after you're done with the introductions, you can try to make coffee or a protein shake," Steve said. Which, well, Tony's robot DUM-E had a hard time doing, so it can't be that easy, right?

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